They don't tell you how to cope with things.
No one does.
They warn about it.
They say that things like this happen.
They say you should tell someone.
No one does.
You can't tell someone.
You can't tell anyone.
You sit with this in your mind.
Forever.
You sit and fear everything.
You sit hoping to not be touched in that spot.
Because oh my god, that spot.
That spot it enough to cause more silence.
That spot makes you cringe.
It makes you close your eyes.
And that spot brings back all the memories.
The memories you couldn't speak about.
The memories you weren't taught to cope with.
You can't cope with anything.

They say the third times a charm.
I don't believe it.
Because when I wanted to die for the third time,
I failed.
The pills have failed me again, so did you.

I don't understand what you mean to me.
Is it friendship?
Is it lust?
You're gone now and I still don't understand.
Was it friendship?
Was it lust?

You shouldn't be so young,
and so close to death.
You shouldn't be so young,
and dealing with these problems.
You shouldn't be so young,
and battle scars from the war inside your head.

The residue of ***** lined the empty bottle.
A deep inhale of smoke,
an exhale of problems.

Lightheaded I fumble,
clasping a cold lifeless piece of metal.
I cried "save me"
release all my demons.

I am safe for now,
drowning in a sea of crimson security.

It feels like I'm missing out.
Everything interesting is happening somewhere else.
I want to reach out from this slump,
I want to feel again.
I don't want to miss out anymore.

The release of blood,
the relief in my brain.

I'm not sure what I'd do without you.
I've gotten so used to your
voice
and
laughter
that I don't think I could ever remember
anything other than you.
So really, what would I do without you?

i quit bye

I wish I had something interesting to write about,
but all there's left of me is
old scars
&
empty bottles

I took some pills mumbling "I love you."
I wish I wouldn't have woken that morning,
because if the last words that came out of my mouth were for you,
then I would have gone happily.