everything you taught me to hide
melting off of the shoulders
of everyone new

I would go back and choose life
instead of hiding
placating
given the chance

it is true, what they say, you know
you are disgusting
cellulite rippling under sun scarred scales
gluttony clear as day
in your silhouette
so unkind and unclean
that hundreds will take precedence
you drive away the clean
from everything you know

unlovable, unloving
you do not deserve the sun
you do not deserve the light
you do not deserve love

you do not deserve
what the world knows
you are not worthy of

sincerely, yourself

I felt more comfortable, seeing it.
It’s like I got reassurance
“You are doing this the way you need to.”

I saw what a good apology looks like.
I saw traces of myself in it.

I know that I am not there yet.
I know it is easy for me to get there.

“Sorry” is not important
It was real, and it happened
I did it not by accident, not out of ignorance
Out of negligence

You don't deserve that.
I deserve to be better

if you believe
with everything
no one is sincere
the world is your mirror

it feels like there is a void in my chest
it isn’t like when i am missing something
it is as if nothing was ever there to begin with
but how can you miss something you never had?
someone born without sight missing the colors
of their favorite painting

i woke up this morning wishing there were an easy way out
i ran out of gas
on the side of a highway
with nothing but desert on all sides
i used to feel thirsty in this heat

if the opposite of love is apathy
i have been thinking a lot on how
life and i fell out of love

I am here for every payback
every violent ending
to a happy day
every communication
over iced coffee and BLTs
smiles stuffed with bad memories
a bad aftertaste

I am here
for as long as it takes
for you to feel safe
for you to feel vindicated
for you to feel accepted
loved, cherished, and believed
I am here for all of the difficult fights
because waking up in the morning
to your smile
leaves me feeling in love
like I have never felt
and you deserve my best

your lips taste like copper
the red all over my shirt
you did not ask to taste metal
and I’m too young to feel this
pull it open wider than
the sick smile
curling your ****** lips
to get a view of
how bad the damage really is
your favorite knife, your favorite skin
I taste like iron and copper