I cannot restrict your freedom
Because I will not forfeit my own.
We deserve equality.
But perhaps it is not possible.
I stay in, not because I have to
But because all I know is here.
You have adventure
That heart that leads you elsewhere
And I cannot have that
Because it is not intrinsic.
You are gone
And only I remain.
In our bed on a summer's night
I question why you have not
Come home.

I am weary
My insecurities and your absence
Keep me awake.
Furious that I,
Strong and independent woman,
Rely so heavily on you
And am helpless
But to ache
When you're away.

I am the new girl to ignore.
The one who won't live here no more.
The one you can turn a blind eye to
The girl who doesn't exist to you.
"You are leaving because you hate us?"
Isn't that what you said to her?
Our friendship is now on hiatus
What are you trying to guilt me for?

The phone is silent.
My ears crane to hear
The door that will not open.
My every fiber aches
Longing for a sign that you are okay.
My heart beats slowly
Loud and heavy.
Anger and anxiety
Not knowing what to feel.
Your side is cold
I wish I knew where you were.
You should be here.
You told me why you were going out
But evening has turned to night
You said you'd be back by now.
I want to sleep
Maybe it will hasten your arrival
And alleviate my fear
But maybe you won't return
Either way I lay-
Think of all the reason
Why I wish you were here.
Please come home.

You will not miss me
When I move across town.
You are already distancing yourself.
I will move.
We will forget to talk
We will grow apart
And then the unthinkable will happen.
I will be left with no one
And you won't even be there.
I won't know how to talk to you
We will have forgotten how to be friends.

You wooed my mother
And impressed my sister
Both difficult things to manage.
Now you are risking your good standing
To ask her permission
For us to share a home.
She will know then
That we share a bed
That someday we hope to share a life
That you want me to stay forever.
But I respect you, so much.
Regardless of what happens,
You are my hero-
You are my knight.

Why are you so difficult to please?
Why do you try to make me sad?
I do not try to make you upset intentionally.
Sometimes I tease and may take it too far,
But it is not because I'm trying to hurt you.
Nothing I am or ever will be
Will be enough to be your friend
And the sad part is that I will continue-
I will continue to try.
So go slam your door and hide in your room
And I will sit out here and sigh
And when this moment of hormones has subsided
I hope we will try again.