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Oct 2013 · 1.1k
Ripples
emily wiemann Oct 2013
Circles are rippling in my mind
The cause
Effect
Consequences in time
Of time, it was time
it was mine
When I was fine
I was okay being behind
Stuck by the line
In rhythm
In rhyme
What had me in this bind
Why was I being so blind
Ticking was the clock
I was stuck
Unable to walk
Paralyzed with fear
In tears
After many years
When had it become so clear
The words unraveled
Very well worn and travelled
Spun round the world
Dangling from a spoon
I was sailing right to the moon
Eyes wide excited
Scared
Bewildered
At the future beginning
Round again
In this one spin
Gasping for air
Where is the oxygen
Dizzying
Wheeling
Thoughts were fleeting
Could it be me
That was begging and pleading
For the end to stop
Just to start
An introduction
Speaking, with a silent voice
Smiling with no grin
Laughter with no sound
This moment was overtaking
Could I possibly meet who was in the making
To him
Creator
God
What would I say
Hope I wasn't faking
Now am I breaking
Dismayed, behind dark eyes
Everything laid out bare
Had always been there
For the taking
My heart need just to reach out,
And start the
Creating
Rippling
Circling in my head
I saw my end, but
First I saw
What was in that first breath
Of this life
My life
Such a whirlwind in
My mind
When would I comprehend
Understanding
Unblinking never faltering
Not halting
To the sound
A whisper
It echoed
Thru the eons
Ringing out in each soul
Longing for the chimes
The bells
The tones
To all sing out
In one voice
In one note
We all call out
In moments of hope
In times of faith
With joy
With sorrow
Yet always with the heart
It plays the beat
The tempo
The drums
As the ripples
Of circles
Come round again
I thought of consequence
Yet found the meaning of eternity
In the end.
Sep 2013 · 459
Untitled
emily wiemann Sep 2013
I loved you
Those words don't sum it up
I adored you
So much that it tingled in my soul
It hurts to admit
Because it pours out
Like a down pour in Seattle
There's some kind of nostalgia to you
A welcome place an odd home
I had such desire for you
It drove me insane
When the illusion broke
For just a moment you had the feeling of home
Yet no matter what happens now
The loss is always mine
Your head is high in the clouds
Though I would wait forever
I desire a love in this life
A great love, my best and dearest friend
The one who's fingers will wrap around mine
I loved you
Yes it's in past tense
I step forward still searching for the soul
Which will lay next to mine
Sep 2013 · 479
Hours
emily wiemann Sep 2013
How many hours have we chatted?
How many hours have we laughed?
The great weight of sadness, it fills me
Knowing I will never return to see you
I will never want to after these moments have passed
The lonely moments in the night when we used each other
In ways that we should've just walked away from
Those time when we would've been better off
If we had never met, never said hello.
I wish it could've stayed as it was
I would be your friend and you...
You would be one of my hopes
Now I just feel like a fool
Failed and
Disappointed
Sep 2013 · 649
Again
emily wiemann Sep 2013
There had been you
In my life for so long,
It would keep that way
I had hoped,
But I knew that all good things end
They must, it is only natural
That I would be heart broken again
The tears will come later
After I have gotten onto the plane
The sadness will leave
After time has passed
I will miss your voice and laugh
Such a dear friend,but I know
That you think nothing of me
You are caught up on hopes
For a woman that is unattainable
Someone who you see as perfect
Well this is our collision my friend
We all make interesting choices
I would've chosen you everyday
Though I know you would be the first
To leave me by the roadside
Almost strange how it took a decade,
A few bad choices and your words
For me to realize how we differed
In our value of people, friendship and love
I won't forget your my dear
But I will let you go
I've done it before
I just never thought it would be you.
Jul 2012 · 697
*note*
emily wiemann Jul 2012
so far in this poetry memoir ive left memories of three men....im done now as you might have seen from my last works...at 26 years of age, i take a vow of singleness...batchelor hood if you will....for i know love will never find me
Jul 2012 · 483
love
emily wiemann Jul 2012
it would be better if i could smile/ if life wouldnt throw curb ***** at me constantly/ im not that old/ im not than young/ but i seem to be in a perpetual state of less fun/ i wish you were still here/ constantly laughing with me/ we had such fun/ didnt we ?/ i though we did the whole time/ though you proved me wrong and out of rhyme/ saying i couldnt be anything to you/ couldnt be more than nothing to you/ i couldnt understand your indecisive mind/ one moment i was perfect/and right in time/ then the next you didnt want to see my face for fear of the time/ oh dear pan, dear prophet, dear destiny dear fate...just leave me be for i feel im too late/ love will never find me now/ i will be a maid/ so now i take this vow at this drinking stage/ no more will i love any of human kind in the way that a man loves a woman with such time/ no more will i search/ no more will i hope to find/ ive given up/ given in/ leave it to father time/ im drunk/ im tired my heart aches with pain/ i cant take anymore/ ive got no more to give/ in hope and in faith i retire from all this/ no more lovers/ no more spring time tiffs/ there is no point to it all/ no worth at all/ i now have decided to stop/ this stupid odd thing called love
Jul 2012 · 672
If
emily wiemann Jul 2012
If
If I could explain your words
if i could explain my heart break
i would
with all the words in the world i would try
I would try to tell people why
why you couldnt love me
why you wouldn't see me eye to eye
yet i dont know the answer to my heart break
tell me
i would love to know
you werent mean or terrible
you didnt lie cheat or steal
no
you just said
i could never see you being my girl
I was everything adorable
everything sweet and girly
so much that you couldnt believe your eyes
im wonderful, beautiful, you wanted me to meet your mom
but then
suddenly
i wasnt the prize you wanted
you could never see me marrying you
never see me loving and caring for you
who told you such lies
its okay, no really its happened before
my heart has been broken
ive heard it all these words before
I did nothing wrong you said
how is that
such confusing terms you had
im so lost in that
my drunken mind spins now
i hope you are happy now
you think that everything will be perfect
well you had something great!
i would have been there no matter what
taken care of you
and played with you
and been your best friend
but you didnt want that
no one seems to want that from me
its okay
you see
im used to it
im over it
i know no one will ever love me
im sorry to wallow in self pity
this isnt the first time my heart has broken in two
though i didnt think it would be because of you
we got along so well
no problems were dealt
yet you made them up in your head
saying it would never be me
thanks for the heart break
just so you know
giving back a whole heart
isnt that easy without dropping it once or twice
making sure it shatters on the floor
you may not have ment it
you may not have wanted to break it
but you did
more slowly
more painfully than the violent bullies from before
thank you
for showing me that love will never find me
that love will never be in my cards
i wish things were different
i wish it didnt hurt but i does
and the worst part is
you still hope to be friends
Jun 2012 · 702
fingertips
emily wiemann Jun 2012
Just the light brush of your fingertips
right in the morning light
was all I needed to know
that it was just the right time
just the time to smile
cuddling closer into you
so very warm and sweet
after a long night's dreams
That was all that was done
just a light brushing of your fingers
so simple and so freeing all in one
the pleasant caress of your fingers against my skin
made me happy to know i was wanted again
you would pull me in close
my head on your chest
then only to resume dreaming
we would continue our rest
how i will miss these moments
with you so close by
you were so understanding
i never thought you one to lie
then it was over like a fleeting dream
a dream that ended like a nightmarish fiend
you were so unique to me
everything you did just right
you will never understand how you touched me
with you fingertips in the morning light
Jun 2012 · 457
Untitled 3
emily wiemann Jun 2012
I've gone adrift into the mist
of waiting for some logic
there isn't really a question
but a hollow sound in my heart
poor thing, has been pulled to pieces too many times
shattered on the floor
being glued or taped or welded together
has only slowly made it easier to break
maybe it just needs strong hands
that will hold it carefully
hopefully those hands exist before my heart turns black
I know that I might find them
somewhere in this world they might be there
searching for this very sad heart to hold
warm large hands that will make it less hallow again
no longer will it beat dully
springing to life in a bright cheerful pulse
Just please please be careful
if I give you my heart, and you dont want it
dont  drop it to the ground...just slowly hand it back
Jun 2012 · 482
Why
emily wiemann Jun 2012
Why
Why, why is there no one for me?
Maybe there is no one who wants a me.
Time keeps marching right along,
I was almost sure that someone would be there
to sing my song.
Someone who marched to the same beat
Atleast one who could understand me in my sleep
I thought that there would be a person just out of the blue
Who was there and would yell
"I completely understand you!"
so many times I thought oh maybe it will be this time
Yet, each time I was wrong.
Why,
Why is it all my friends have someone to sing with
I'm still here just humming along...
Wanting so badly someone to hold my hand
Why, dear love
are you so elusive to my poor heart
Just keep beating me up...
I got up everytime at the start
Now, I just don't know if I can stand it anymore
Time isn't being very kind to me
I'm not sure I really believe all the fairytale dreams
Because I am alone
I dont mind it, I stay busy, very self entertained
Though on those days that are hard
those nights when its just so quiet
I wish there was someone who i could snuggle into
Just quietly calling them home.....
I don't mind not having kids, to me that isnt the point
I could have a dog and a nice house to live.
Im very determined and love to travel
I just have a heart that seems to come unravelled
Especially when you leave it all frazzled
Why, dear love why am I a one not a two
Could you possibly explain to me the meaning of this timing
I'm just lonely...I'm human you know
I cannot survive on just pity and sympathy
for being an old maid in infancy
Please love
Please hear my meager words
I don't like this loneliness, it tends to hurt
So love, dear love...resolve this for me...
Or else I'll resolve to become involved in the existence of
love....then I will no longer cry myself to sleep because a broken why
has hurt my heart once again.
Jun 2012 · 606
You
emily wiemann Jun 2012
You
You, with your booming laugh and smooth hands
Tricked me so tenderly
into believing that there would be some love story
something for the ages
every standard I had you blew away so easily
all you did was take my hand
while helping me get out of the water
there are so many things that couldve been
I saw them there in you
every time you pressed your lips to mine
my mind scrambled almost coming unglued
it was you
like some old sinatra song
you held me just right
balancing and comforting me on those summer nights
its over now
there is no more us
just you and me
separated like we ought to be
the timing wasn't right
maybe in some other place
in some other life
you will lift my hands up one more time
kissing me goodnight
I just wish you couldve stayed
becoming the person to complete the couple
that i so dearly yearn for
I was almost sure that it was
you
Jun 2012 · 528
no title
emily wiemann Jun 2012
Pushed quietly along
Towards the end of the hall
That which awaits I no longer know
I thought to find a quick and keen end
Yet know the path twists again
Seems I am here now
No longer ridiculous
At least in most senses
Yet young none the less
Please hold back and wait
Realize there is always some odd
It cant be helped
Seems to seep in and take control
Giggling the whole while
The wild comes to grab my heart
Swallowed by the flames
Though there is no understanding
No known reason this happens
Just a sudden time a quick glance
Then the hallway it ends
All that is there is another turn
Another path to choose from
Never to find the end of the search
Fighting against all the push and pull
So many different ways
What about the direction i wish to go
Is it so hard to understand
All this noise clouds the truth
No longer am  I able to see right
I cannot find the way i wanted to go
Though everyone's voices rattle in my brain
All the possible directions to choose from
Which one is it that I wanted
What card is it that i wished to pull for myself
Disregarding my ideals I rashly turn down the next path
Unsure of what I've done
Or the path I've decided upon
If only there was a sign to light my way
Something that i wanted to end with
A common goal perhaps
Though now like the youth my age
I wander
Aimless
In a world I couldve had on a spoon
emily wiemann Dec 2011
SCREAM!!!
You vicious continent!
Your ignorant words spill from the left and right
Even spoiling the mouths of artist
Poets, Musicians, and the Philosophic scholars
None of them can escape your Ignorant DownFall
LET THEM HAVE IT
I cannot stand to hear their lazy words
SUCH APATHY!!!
None have a care
Idly slipping by in the world
allowing all the excesses and luxuries to be theirs
YET!
the people die slowly, the weak the weary and the poor
Not knowing anything better they lay soundlessly in poverty's grasp
with the dirt, the bugs and the maimed dreams of the delirious
IT MUST BE NICE!
To look down from such a perch
from a lofty view, contented and happy
with the ability for such apathy
the means to never pursue change
WAR!
is that how your politics thrive!?
The mind numbing cold life that embodies such an action
the merciless killing of people young an old only because they are seen as an enemy!!!
YET YOU SIT
high and mighty in your cardboard cut out buildings
sipping the faux ideals from a electronic box!
in hopes of what!!! salvation!!!!
may you drown in your own coffee!
For the First scholars of this new world
once called the americas
believed in the idea that life was not founded on vanity and sloth
Yet they amazed at the adventure to be had
the outdoors were celebrated and discovered
though we have destroyed so much of what we had
we are now entrapped in the technological
forging some ugly grotesque ideal that is all metal and never organic
skew your minds for a second only to see the reality
shake your head in the tormented way that our materials will fail us
for the idea will get out
MONEY PEOPLE ALWAYS SEE SOME ******* PROFIT!!!
what happened to just expression instead of cashing in
LET IT GO!!!
because to hold on to the apathy
to hold on to the material
will just make it more obvious
in how we have faltered
in how we will fail.
Aug 2011 · 643
onward
emily wiemann Aug 2011
Forward, with the beat of a heart
a thumping beat
a rhythm to dance to
move an joyously celebrate
unique...but not like a snowflake
thru those beings that hear the same beat
we find out who we could possibly be
what can become of our one tune rhythm
Move onward in your life
see the colors swirl together with sound
seasons shift, the beat forever changing
some chords, notes...voices stay forever
others come and go
yet they remain a light echo in life
and imprint of sound
your own beat changing with time
smoothing, fluidly finding itself
becoming completely you
joining in the symphony
that is this orchestra of life
Move! Dance brightly
Dont let yourself fade or burnout
effect the sounds around you
with a shimmy and shake
allow life to surround you
in what becomes your life long beat
the continuous expression
of what you were and what you always will be
Aug 2011 · 499
hands
emily wiemann Aug 2011
Such hands, my heart could soften to
Warm yet flowing like honey
never far from just where they need to be
close by when emotions jump
quick like a rabbit heart, trembling
rapidly vibrating uncontrollably.
Such beautiful chaos you bring to me
so inexplicable
such a force
though i have never given in
yet
i find myself melting into you
painful beauty for my mind to understand
my mouth cannot form proper sentences
vowels confused with those other letters
do and don'ts play radically on my finger tips
kisses that blank out my mind
hiding under the soft fabric of happy
never a burden or a harsh word
i hear you clearly like a ringing bell
such hands
for a being like myself
was more that could have been hoped for
Aug 2011 · 589
untitled2
emily wiemann Aug 2011
The moonlight stretches over my madness
the deep blue of the sky with its twinkling scars
mirroring the shrapnel of marring marks along my soul
alone....like a soundless echo bouncing around the canyons
how could it escape me, why is everything awry
drowning in the spirals of intense light
such a vindictive prison, entrapping the body
in the nightmares life has become a shredded hope
pulled away like warm covers in the morning
why is it that im in a labyrinth...yet with no way out
sand has gone thru my fingers into the next player's hands
now without control i fly wild as chaos on the wing
no motives, no wants only one prickling need that can never be met
such betrayal leaves so many questions...all in a chorus of why
let this night be over so i may return
change and morph once again trying to fit the mold that was given
yet will it ever fit?
too small this world that im pulled into
on eggshells i tiptoe with needles piercing my skin
how do i escape such a vicious night
the dark inhumanity with its bloodlust is after me
in this cannibalized society
Aug 2011 · 603
Always
emily wiemann Aug 2011
Mid-morning waiting, there is nothing
no ringing phone
no new texted message on my touch screen
things have grown so far apart
senses slowly weakening, becoming useless
all that was wanted was a moment
just a small piece of time,
that was yours....to give....to someone
to perhaps love
yet never can anyone stand face to face
seeing that person would be more than they could handle
some time of committed response
a bust of joy for some
and then also you come across the overwhelming want
a need
a ***** in the skin
some people call it sick
others scream about the enlightenment
explain to me in your riddles
your light rhymes
possibly your jingling laughing tones
what it is that you seem to have left behind
for communication has flown from the window of your mind
gone are the days where a voice is heard
no longer do you speak thru those hands
that at one time talked in gestures
like written notes on a sheet of music
you were such a flourishing being
grinning and laughing along in the day light
speaking of all that could, all that would, all that possibly might
revolutionary, the whispers still cling to the walls
when people would say, visionary
artist, the cause of such change
you promised.....with beautiful clear eyes...you promised
yet always it seems there is some let down
a painful realization that these promises will never be fulfilled
that you fill heads with ugly needless swill
just another puffy stuffed peacock rattling on about words
words..... that you cannot even grasp
that you cannot even write
Always waiting, being so still
hoping that something will happen
why not make it happen?
why continue to waste
when ALWAYS we are let down
is it the deadly seven that have us in their grip?
can we not be the revolutionary beings of tomorrow
can we not rise up and stand for something more than a greedy dollar bill?
yet.....
always, it seems....no, always this is true....we fall under the spell
of someone, some being, that will honestly never tell us the truth
Jun 2011 · 381
untitled
emily wiemann Jun 2011
I was left in the fog
eyes covered in the opaque film of the day
The stagnant feeling in my heart
matched that of the morning
No colors came to me,
nor did the safety of a friend
There was only the void
and the foggy mist kissing my skin
How to escape
how to retrieve my life once more
Could i pull down these walls
which for so long I worked to build strong
Freedom of self...some type of expression i struggled with
clawing at my existence thru the heavy mist
pulled down by the mud of my own doubt
how could i do this on my own
would i somehow develop some new character
becoming a hero, or a survivor
Always the continuing want for some detail to be covered
to be coveted by the people i most wanted love from
all was hidden now
as i cried out
in the morning
surrounded by the dense fog

— The End —