One day I will find my way back to normality
With a glass in hand, holding the swills of selves
Whether I’m loose or on my toes
I swing back and forth as acceptable
If anything feels balanced, it’s blasted
And you like a crooked smile before I scrap all scrutiny
And so do I, washing up on mornings like I’d practiced all my life

You were light like tissue paper
Crackling and brightly colored
Falling in layers and tinting my space

I wore you like a dress
And never got more compliments
Though barely wrapped, lacking expertise
I stretched you out in the sun
To keep the grass from sticking to my skin
The weather’s been dry, and the dust felt unpleasant
I held you up against the rain
And invited someone under
Smiling to have you between us and getting wet

And I ruined you like tissue paper
Easily torn and crippled by moisture
Stuck to walls in pieces
The rest of you makes grotesque confetti
To celebrate whatever I have left to celebrate

the idea was quiet, the first time it passed behind my eyes
and here it drums, it drums, it drums
pulsing like a
like a heartbeat, pooling up in capillaries
pressed against my skin
just like you, pressed against my skin
pressed against the inside of my skin
pulsing like this blood-dream
all this pressure from within