Everyone has a year, or maybe a few,
When at the end of it, they can look back
And everything has changed.
In my eighteen years, I've had my first one.
It started with a plane, that took me away and back.
The girl that boarded that plane is only a shadow of the girl before you now.
The year has drained me.
I almost lost myself to a world so intreguing, yet unfamiliar.
I came back slowly, stumbling.
I've loved with my whole being,
And lost more than I knew I had.
But I've surprised myself.
Because here I am, stronger than ever.
Ready for life.

He sticks his tongue out when he's thinking, and giggles when he's truly happy.
He's more sensitive than anyone I know.
Insecure and full of self-doubt, but stronger than he realizes and smarter than he believes.
Which all make him that much more handsome to me.
He's full of love, but scared.
And in that we are alike.
He gets sad sometimes for no reason,
And he tries to hide the pain.
An old soul, a deep soul, locked in the superficial world around him.
Hiding behind things that only temporarily ease the hurt.
And I do the best I can to make sure he knows he's loved.
Because that's what we all need, isn't it?

One sentence and the insecurities fly.
The questions spin around my head.
Why?
Why?
Why?
What did I do wrong?
Pounding against my skull.
Unanswered questions,
Questions that I cant ask, for fear of more pain.
Why?
Why?
Whywhywhywhywhy...
The same question over and over.
My stomach turning and my eyes welling up with tears I don't have reason or answers for.
I'm feeling small and hurt, crushed, but Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?