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Emily Ould Mar 2013
i loved you, back then
but now the love tastes bitter and scalded
i still think of you, all the time
of the days back when you were Mine

because there was a time,
when i used to run around Fearless,
knowing what we had was a perfect little
Love Story

your Starlight shined to me
and although i still remain Invisible to you
i'll still forever adore you,
although your State of Grace has now fallen

i wanted you to stay forever sixteen,
i wanted you to Never Grow Up
i wanted you to Stay
Stay, Stay

The Way I Loved You was intense,
and so, so easy; Untouchable,
but jealousy has spiralled in and out,
and out of my control

you comforted a girl whose world had been shattered
around her by divorce, depression
and instability
you allowed her to Breathe

now i'm stuck, stuck on The Outside
where it's bitter and cold
Treacherous, even
Everything Has Changed

so Long Live
those times I used to share with you
because they're not my own anymore
and they were truly The Best Day(s)

And when I think Tim McGraw,
yes
of course
I do think of you
Emily Ould Feb 2013
Would you push
another soul off a cliff,
a rafter,
a ship? - walk the plank
aye, matey

that is, if you knew nobody was watching
if nobody was there,
ever to know,
would you do it?

if there were nobody to squeal,
to taddle,
to break,
engulf you in the scene of the crime

just how high do our morals stand?
We're going to breathe until the day we die
just keep at it
keep breathing, keep breathing

Myself?
I'm going to keep breathing until I stop
'til the very last breath in my body lets itself out

and whispers
"Stop."
Emily Ould Feb 2013
Go ahead.
Shoot me right between the eyes.
I dare you.
A dead-hand shot.
**Just do it.
Emily Ould Jan 2013
I don't feel I've got the knack, the spark, the 'gee-whizz, she's got it!' to say I can sparkle
I don't have the 'good' to be enough.

Amateur

They say I have talent
But it seems I just happen to waste it

Watch it go past in the breeze,
or **** past like the rushing wind

Instead I'm just staring straight back at it while it waves away at me
I'm just too busy living and breathing to take any notice

Oops.
Have I just grown up?
Emily Ould Jan 2013
The woman you love/d is gone

But she still cares

So please never say she doesn't
Emily Ould Jan 2013
You can shout and swear at me all the hell you want
But I won't dare retaliate because I CARE
If I could shout and scream at you back I would
Believe me.

But I don't
Because I don't want you to see me cry
So that's why I hope you don't know that, afterwards,
I'll shed a tear or two

You startle me
When you get like that
Because I don't know what to do
I want to help you, but don't know how

For the now, I want to desperately be somewhere else
And I know exactly where that place is
But I'm terrified of leaving
For fear of losing you
Emily Ould Jan 2013
Having trouble fitting in
Going nowhere, it seems
Am I supposed to reach out,
Nestle into the arms that will hold me?

Or revert back in.
Yes.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.

The obsolete nature of human beings startles me so
This repetition
repetition, repetition
Tell me.

Am I meant to do it too?
I'm finding it hard to keep my pace,
to save face.
And so,

Predictably I stumble and I stagger
Up this hill that everybody else is sloping,
that inadvertently pulls me toward adulthood
Towards experience.

Please, let me go at my own pace
You can walk it too, if you like
Or you can go off at your own
And we will be separated
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