Lost in a landfill of thoughts,
Blocked by my heart
Till finally it was caught.
High hopes have taken over
And life is always an exposure.
With reality killing spirits
Just trying to keep composure.
I just hope you hear me,
Crying out for a plea.
Only wanting everyone to stand back and really see,
That I forever am and will always be just me.
Realistically speaking,
I have always yearned to flee.
Figuratively speaking you don't want to know me.
And I will always love and be loved gratefully.
But please do proceed cautiously.

I'd give you my soul,
If I had mine still..
My heart would be yours,
If it wasn't his..
I would open my mind for you,
If I hadn't locked it and thrown out the key..
I want to give you anyone everything.
But what I once had was taken forgranted.
It was passed around
Until misplaced.
I couldn't find it.
I didn't want to.
And when I did find it
There was only an empty me.

Finding reasons to run,
Faster, stronger, better, smarter.
Living the dream.
Resorting to relaxation.
Within the loudest scream,
Wishing to dream,
Reasons to scream,
Nothing is what it seems.
Floating through my stream,
Till my heart naturally cleans
Without selfish steam.
******* irrational frustration
Living beneath consistent injustice restriction,
Power hungry pigs
Getting off from constriction
Of an innocent prediction.

Killing me softly with his love.
Any love,
I've been so hurt,
And I'm running on empty.
Believing that I have a ******* grasp on my sanity.
Tired of reaching aimlessly
Towards a sick society
With no ******* courtesy.
Living in an utter false reality
Surviving off thirst for currency
And desperation for any consistency
Slowly learning to accept
That it's almost pointless
To tell myself that one day
I will be happy.

I want to say yes,
My brain tells me no,
My heart's crying for it.
Just this one time,
There could be no stress.
If I could just do it again,
Just one time..
Maybe two times...
If I could just quit after that..
I deserve it.
I work so hard.
I pay all my bills.
I go to court.
I've redeemed control.
But my heart still doesn't feel whole.
It still wants to fade away,
Just for one day.
Please just this once,
I could still be okay.
But what if I don't live to see another day..

When I first saw into her pain, I was elated;
finally someone else so numb they're sedated.
We stayed up all night little past five, off eachother were wasted
She was the friend of the girl I liked but couldn't get to hold onto
Next thing I knew I was up in her headspace, and she was the next case
for this lovesick therapist kid still getting his head straight
Crazy how life is meant for love, but all you need is yourself
One minute she loves you the next
You're set up on the shelf

How does it feel to waste your time,
over and over?
How does it feel to live for other peoples lonely vies?
Now how does it feel to be surrounded,
over and over?
How does it feel to know you can't reach out and touch their souls?
How does it feel to know I've gone, without being here to start with?
How does it feel to know you've chosen wrong?

You're wrong
I'm right

And now I'm torn on what love is, I think it'd be this.
Cause playing guitar is much better than these hardened hearts.
We stayed up all night, little past five
pointing out our marks and scars
She was the girl of the friend I liked
She said he was family
Next thing I knew, she's tellin' me
she's chosen someone I can't be
This lovesick masochistic kid's now starin' at Plan B..
Seems like life seems so perfect
when we're staring at surface ****.
One minute it's all planned so right
the next you're praying to your christ.

So how does it feel to waste your time,
over and over?
How does it feel to live for other people's dumb opinions?
How does it feel to be surrounded,
over and over?
How does it feel to know you can't kiss off the memories?
Now how does it feel to know I'm gone, never to come back?
How does it feel to know you've chosen wrong?

You're wrong
I'm right
I'm wrong
You're right
I'm right
I'm wrong
They're right
I'm song..

We were junkies
The **** water was the color of a hobbo's ****.

I'm gonna be Manic tomorrow
Which isn't fabulous.