They are a personal awakening
    like an old song from a time
  more intimate and meant to be--

Such devastating commitment,
    all embraces and soft sighs
  and half promises of forever;

A touch of breath, a gentle caress
    with nothing but a halo of content
  revealing both nothing and love--

Their affair leaves nothing to wonder
    no petty doubts, nor fear, nor lies,
  only a promise of always;

Some complete and happy union,
    leaving no worry of their loyalty,
  simple a dazzling eternal infinity;

There she remains, a bride of could-be
     across a chasm of my own device,
   a gentle beckon from her heart
to mine.

As I immerse myself in a field of gray
    not picturesque, not meant to stay,

I smell the coffee in your hands,
    begging me back to majestic lands;

I fall into your embrace when beckoned,
    only to drown in whiskey second.

I opened the door
And walked into your world
The door swayed (like trees in the wind)
And you turned
And walked out the door
That I opened (when I walked into your world)

A few years later (I re-opened that door)
I walked out of your world
And the door shut with a slam
I remember it swaying (like trees in the wind)
And you walked right through me (with my heart in your hands)
And walked into the door again (and locked it behind you)
And wouldn't allow me in (into your world again).

This room smells of cigarettes and ******* (“My daily cologne,”)
Before it was bought, this place was a home—
But now it’s just storage—
A place to get horizontal.

You don’t have a religion (“This isn’t adultery,”)
You proudly show your body
You’re not afraid of sin
You’re not afraid of this intense heat (“I’ll let you **** me thin.”).

I can reach you at *69
Being away makes everything hard.
It’s a 1-800 number—
Payable by cash or card.

Even when we were teens (“When you were sixteen,”)
You could always pleasure me (“And I was fourteen,”).
Even though I’m married (“It was the best time for me.”),
You’re the one I need.

You’re the angel in these bed sheets (“The devil with my chains.”),
The local roaming God—
We down whole bottles of sweet Champagne (“You didn’t even have this at your wedding,”)
And stand up on the balcony (“Having *** in the rain.”).

Sweat glints on your body in this smoke-filled light
And shimmers on your neck.
(“My eyes are open so I can remember,”) My eyes are closed so I can
Forget, forget, forget.

You won’t change yourself (“Come away with me,”),
And I know that you won’t cry (“I can make you happy,”),
But even though my eyes are closed (“The tract marks will disappear-”),
I like to pretend you try (“We can live forever if we make it past thirty.”).

This room smells of alcohol and ******* (“The scent my wife just knows.”),
Know that I remember and love you (“I don’t want a wife, I want”),
But you’re not just mine to have (“you to be with me.”),
Just try to save some time for me.

This romance of ours is deep (“We’re not going to make it.”),
Even if it’s two hundred and hour—
You were always worth the money
Saying the one is me (“Even if we try,”).

We’re going to die here together,
Just you and I (“The tracts are way too deep.”),
We’ll be in each other’s arms
In life we couldn’t do that (“But in death we’ll **** well try”).

It was as if the earth could breathe
But it couldn’t, I remembered, even after the
Sky yawned wide and ate us both.
        (of course, we weren’t the only ones,
        but you’ll suffer for poetry?)
You held my hand tight because you
were afraid
        (maybe it was I who held you?)
But we had nothing to fear
So says you, but we never did
get anything right.
        (not intentionally, anyways)
“Forever isn’t black,” you suppose, “there’s land still”
I nod and agree but do not speak
You open up and can’t but say “It’s as if the earth can
breathe”