you just took it.
like it was the last piece of gum
like you could return it if it didn't fit
or sew some cute buttons on it to make it look better.
but that was mine.
and I liked it just the way it was ,
it didn't need altering.
I didn't mind at the time because
I loved you.
I loved you.
I loved you.
loved.

you just took it.
like it was the last piece of gum
like you could return it if it didn't fit
or sew some cute buttons on it to make it look better.
but that was mine.
and I liked it just the way it was ,
it didn't need altering.
I didn't mind at the time because
I loved you.
I loved you.
I loved you.
loved.

I am not party girl, or drinking or ***. I am not ignorant or shallow or churlish. I am not tender , or easily stepped upon. I am not titanium.
^
^
I am weak and easily broken. I am volunteering for fun, I am lover of simplicity and friend of comfort. I am confused, and sometimes scared.
-I am Emily.

I will love you because I promised it was real
and true love isn't conditional
so I'll pretend we aren't falling apart
and that disappointment isn't my new best friend

I'll pretend it does not hurt
and maybe I'll start believing it
but excuse me if I trip a little on this journey of lies
sorry if i explode every now and then because it become to much
I will clean up any spillage from my heart
and like a good girlfriend
I will tell you
I
Love
You.

I don't care anymore
you wouldnt allow me to
you knew good and well my heart would turn
and this love would burn
into ashes ,the wind would carry it far
and I would weep
and the next morning I wouldn't care anymore
or love anymore
or want you anymore
and its your fault.

The transition from lover to friend isn't real
its just a theory.
so it wasn't promises we made last night it was a hypothesis,
and the ***, was our little experiment.
Some theories take longer to prove than others.
no rush.

I wasn't your princess, not even your servant.
I was like the king in the next kingdom.
You memorized every wrinkle and tender spot
but you never asked how it made me feel.
your different.
your so close to being perfect
and at the same time
you make me feel like ive never seen the sun,
like ive never eaten food.
ugly.cold.hungry for you.
And i hate that.
mostly because i know you dont mean to
you call me beautiful.
but my heart just wont accept it
idk maybe it is you
or me.
either way this shouldn't hurt.

It isnt easy
not knowing if someone will
return the favor of love.

How embarrassing it would be
to wake up to them leaving
knowing that your lack
of understanding of their needs
forced them away.

You be best off to just laugh and pretend
you were just kidding
and you didnt care, or love
even though your crushed.

I am a bird, I meant an ant.
No, no, no....I said a butterfly.
Yes they are quite beautiful, and innocent.
And you, you are a snake,
an unmistakable quality you hold.
Your venom is never forgotten,
I see your rattle even though some think it interesting
it simply reminds me
you
are
evil.
It's not my fault you gave into your demons.

We decided ...well i guess i decided, it would be better if we waited ...bc our relationship just wasn't ready.

but that didn't stop you.
I know you were scared because i could feel your heart as you tried to learn the angle your fingers could come inside( which hurt by the way ).

convinced this was happening i took my own shirt off , it was up to my neck anyways.
the look you gave me when you pulled at my pants ill never forget . you didnt say a word but i knew every thought in your head.
in silent glances i reassured you ,i was ready.
and on you went .
and on
and on.
i couldn't help but laugh when you asked me how to put the ****** on , being silly as always i replied "idk ive never had a ***** "
i love you .
we made out the entire time (my lip went numb )
and then you had to leave , we kissed ,we promised we wouldn't tell, and we realized we shared something special .

You were my first.and I , yours. That's special to me .

You pushed me to my breaking point
like a ruler i snapped
i am of no use to you now

so goodbye.
It will hurt
, to be broken
always does,
but
one day ill will be ok.




it just wont be today.

Those times we share like that one last night
makes me feel like busting, and i just might
love would sling across the ceiling
I'm so enthralled I'm literally beaming
It's just when im with you happiness consumes me
and for days i have to listen to the plea
of my heart because she wants more
and you want me , I am sure
its hard to walk away when ive tickled you since noon
under the entire , glowing moon
that allowed you to see the details of my body.
there you found my secrets and the key
to my heart that I hid just for you
so in our river of passion you could use your canoe.

They said follow your heart
and i trusted them so I did
logic, reasoning, wisdom
a goodbye a bid.

A goodbye that would seal the letter
that pronounced the death of
my trust
my hope
my love
my comfort
even my  sanity.
So to all who offer you the "advice " to follow

your heart ,
although their intentions may be pure ,
just know . The goodbyes are coming .

It seems my best poems are the one I title after and cry during.

Words cannot bring to life my sorrow
I mourn not only your repect
but also my future
I didnt mean for things to turn out this way
if i could go back to that day
i would .
and I would use my brain and mot my heart
I can only say I am sorry , and one
day i hope you can forgive me
no rush
you have 6 months
i think he can change your mind
change mine .

little one
inside me growing
taking little pieces of who I am
making them into who you'll be
leave some love so I can drench you in it
leave the pain so I can save you from it
leave the lies , there no good on the soul
but take the wisdom that I earned in these few years,
you'll need it little one .

"And she will cry because she knows no one can save her from herself..."

You came back
you really came back
and you didn't even ask for forgiveness
but it doesn't matter because your back
and you may have missed my body
or maybe you just got bored
but how can i not rejoice when my lover has returned
this is scary
because you can leave just as quick as you returned
but
I guess that's  the
price of love.

Your body was so kind to mine

like it was the first time you tasted warmth

You were so eager to dine

On my newly washed limbs

I could swear this wasn't you first

but we will let secrets like that stay under the sheets

with all the other regrets we will have after tonight

but its ok

because I love you. lover.