i wake in the morning
though never from sleep,
rather
shaking off demons
that live in day dreams.

crawling –
               crawling –

worms in my head
i shout
“get out!”
get out.
i weep,
“get out
-please out.”
You leave.

no-
not You, never You.
i’m hysterical.
i’m content.
oh well,
oh well.
no one said this made sense,

simply convenient -
we need to forget.

i scratch at myself,
i’m dead.
i drown.
i don’t own my mind
a darkness surrounds.
it murders my soul,
what will i feel? what will i be?

nothing.
i’m nothing.
a slave to disease,
i hide under covers,
this sickness I’ll please –
or else..
… what else?
what more can it seize?

victims screech from the street.
lullabies.
sinful sweet lullabies,
they sing me to sleep.

I am a mother,
I am a daughter.

I have sinned.
I have shunned.

I learned from my mistakes,
I learned from the best.

It is this life I've repented,
It is this life I've repeated,

forgive me.
forgive me.

I am your mother,
**I am your daughter.