I'm so ******* stupid.
You aren't good for me,
Like poison.
But I yearn for you.
I cry over you.
I want you.
I need you.
Almost as much as I need air.

I was a stupid 16 year old,
Falling in love with you.
Here I am now,
Almost 20,
Still madly in love with you.

I'm so ******* stupid.
You're no good for me.
Like the apple that tempted Eve.
It ****** up paradise.
You ****** up my life.
You ****** up my mind.
You ****** up my heart.
But I still want you.
I still love you.

I'm so ******* stupid.

564 Miles.
8 Hours.
1/3rd of a day.
Far away from each other.
You leave in 4 months,
But I do as well.
Omaha.
Denver.
Two completely different places.
No more late nights.
No more sappy movies.
No more deep conversations.
Not face to face at least.
Not what we are used to.
But you will be happy.
And so will I.
We will both be where we are comfortable.
Where we both love to be.
You are my best friend.
My sloot.
My goldfish stealer.
Where you are happy, I am happy for you.
I want to see you happy.
I want you to be where you want to be.
And when you come back,
I will be here.
Like I always am.
It will be like nothing ever changed.
My dear best friend,
Be happy.
If you are happy, I am happy for you.
You might be far away,
But in our hearts,
We will always there.
I love you.
…****.

I like you.
I like you.
I really, really like you.
That goes through my head when I see you.
Why can’t I make that come out of my mouth?
Maybe because I’m afraid?
Afraid of rejection.
Afraid of humiliation.
Afraid of being hurt.
Again.
I’ve been hurt once.
By one I loved.
Will you be the one?
The one that will be worth my tears?
But won’t make me cry.
Those blue eyes.
I could look into them forever.
Your laugh.
I love to hear it.
You.
I love it when I see you.

I like you.
I like you.
I really, really like you.
Maybe one day you’ll know.
But for now, I’ll keep it inside.
But I’ll be dreaming of the day.
That you say to me.
“I like you too”

I would give anything to have you back.
The you I knew.
Just for one night.
No strings attached.
Just one last night.
To give me closure.
To give me a chance.
To give me anything.
To make me happy one last time.
For you to hug me once more.
Kiss me once more.
Hold me once more.
Tell me you love me once more.
Oh what I would give for that.
Unrealistic.
It’s something I only dream of.
I can only hope that dream comes true.
There’s things I don’t want to admit.
Things other people don’t know.
I miss you.
I want you back.
And only God knows that
I still love you.
With all of my heart.
With all of my soul.
With everything I could ever give.
I still love you.

Valentine’s Day.
The day of love.
The day of romance.
The day that reminds you that you are alone.
You don’t have anyone special in your life.
It’s just you.
You aren’t even special enough to have a cat.
You are just alone.
No one likes you.
Like that I mean.
You have no one to hold you.
To kiss you.
To tell you they care.
To tell you they love you.
You aren’t privileged enough
To have that one person in your life.
They haven’t come along yet.
If once certain guy were to tell me,
“Hey, I like you!”
My Valentine ’s Day would be made.
But until that happens,
Which is very doubtful.
I’ll be here.
Sitting in my room
Celebrating Single’s Awareness Day.
Alone.

You raised me on your own.
You kept me,
Even though I am the constant reminder.
The reminder of my father.
He beat you.
He starved you.
Yet you kept me.
Raised me.
Never regretted me.
Do I look like him?
Do I remind you of him?
You left him.
I thank God that you did,
Because if you didn’t
I wouldn’t be here.
You don’t need a man.
You are strong on your own.
You taught me to be strong.
Told me to be strong when I needed to be.
When that was all I could do,
Was try to be strong.
Even though I am far,
I won’t be for long.
I love you Momma,
With all of my heart.

Here you are.
Right in front of me.
Why can't I say it?
"I like you."
Three simple words,
Yet so hard to say.
I don't want to be rejected.
I don't want to be hurt again.
Jibberish.
That's what comes out of my mouth.
I feel so stupid.
I just made a fool of myself.
Trying to look good around you.

You're on my mind
I try to change it.
But everything that comes to my mind,
Always ends up going back to you.
Maybe that's a sign.
Am I supposed to be with you?
Am I letting my hopes get too high?
My hopes for you to say "I like you too".
Will it happen?
Doubtful.
Can I hope?
Absolutely.