this isn't a poem
it's just a thought
I was in the shower
thinking
like we all do in showers
when the hot water makes our pores and minds expand
wide as the universe and we're so small in our thoughts

and I realized something

I am no one's number one
in the long line of people spoken to
laughed with
sitting with
I am not number one

you see we all have a group of people who we would go to
when we're alone
when we want to be with someone
and maybe someone will come to me
but they won't stay
someone else will come along
and eyes will wander
and thoughts will change
and the world will turn to face another side
all but for my portion of it
until I'm alone again

it's not a nice thought
but I never said it was