Honestly I still care
Though i said i dont
I spend my days thinking of you
knowing that you wont

Think of me at all
and as the seasons pass
Summer, spring, and fall
I spend my time
wasting away
and waiting fro your call

Time comes and time goes
Yet i cant forget you
The trees sprout leaves
then die again
But me i cannot let go

You say we are still friends
But in the wind
hear my silent echo

In the end
the more time we spend
Will make my true feelings
less known

But I want to drink your mother's tea.

We will all die alone.
It is a simple fact of life.
Beings, human or not, die alone.
But I don't want to be alone, not even for an instant.
Not even for that one instant in which I die, in which I am gone.
I've never been alone, truly alone. Sure, I've had the house to myself.
But I had the phone, and I had the computer, and I had my books and the cat.

It's not death I'm scared of. I have years, and I don't believe that one just ends. There has to be something more. But that's for another day.
I'm not too scared of what comes after death, in all honesty.
Whatever shall happen to me shall happen and there is nothing I can do to change whatever it is.
If I became convinced of any specific deity's existence I would not pray to them. I would not change who I am, only to change the results that come from who I am.
I believe in personal growth.
I believe in the perfection of self.
I believe in meditation
and I believe in love.

"It's ****** depressing, when you think about it."
I looked up from my cigarette, which I had been admiring soberly in the dark moonlight.
"When you think about what?"
"When the person you're talking to is more interested in their stinkin' cigarette than your "spilling of the heart.""
"I apologize, sincerely. How may I make it up to you?"
My partner sighed.
"I don't know Nolan, tell me one of your horrible stories that always make me feel better."
I thought for a few minutes before I stumbled upon an ill fated November morning in my thoughts.
"Well Tyler, this one time I was fishing with my dad and his friend, Todd, on Todd's boat. We were out on this ******* chilling lake at 6 in the morning and I had fallen asleep. Todd's boat was small and only had two seats, the driver and the passenger. So, being the youngest on the boat I had to sit on an ice chest by the motor. It reeked of oil and nasty stuff yet I somehow managed to fall asleep. When I woke up, my dad was yelling, telling me to stay awake. I figured, seeing how I was on a boat, I might as well fish. I picked up a pole and cast it out of the end of the boat. On my first ill fated cast I got tangled with Todd's line. So, we reeled in and untangled them. On the next cast the same thing happened, only I dangled with my dad's line. They told me it might be better if I stopped casting out so I returned to my ice chest throne and almost instantly fell asleep. I woke up to my dad yelling at me again. We were at shore and they were telling me to get off and sit on shore until they were done. So, I went on shore and fell asleep almost, again, instantly. I woke up via my own devices and I started throwing rocks into the water, trying to make them skip. I watched my dad and Todd fish from their tiny little boat. They were right out in the middle and a leak had sprung. They started coming back to shore but, as if on quee, the motor died. Long story short, the boat sunk. My dad and Todd were fine. Todd wasn't even that made because his boat was a ******* floating stick, basically. I just find it funny that my ableness to fall asleep and my patrons impatience caused me to be warm and dry while they ended up wet and pissy."

Hes sad
He sits and wonders why
when he tries to cry no tears arise
And when his parents ask him he lies denies

He wants to run
Wants to hide
But he has nowhere to go
he cant cope
So he grabs a rope

He prays for forgiveness as he ties the knot
Prays no one will cry for him
While he rots

He stands in the chair
suddenly its no there
its just him the rope and the air
he doesn't seem to care
he doesn't gasp for air

All his pains at ease
his parents scream
call the police
its too late it seems

In his note
his final goodbye to his dreams
his goals
the signature at the bottom reads
Another lost soul

He lays there and dies
No one cries
or asks god why

no one lies about
the good he has done
the joy he brung
the songs he sung

In fact many consider him to be
a lost cause
so why pause
our daily lives
for the end of his
the end of a life of sin

He has no family or friends
to watch over him
as they lower him
six feet deeper than he was before

So heres to a life
we hope to forget
to dismiss
one full of regrets
and lost innocence

A tear of sadness
means nothing
it is a sign that we can take no more

A tear of joy
means everything
for it means that we care no more

We are thinkers
They are dreamers
We are quiet
They are loud
We see hard times
They look past them
What we see isnt permenant
What they see will outlast them

While we are thinking
They are doing
while we are listening in
They are speaking out
We talk in a whisper
They always shout

We try to look on the brightside
Yet we go blind
They stare a the sun
and seem to be fine

We think we know all
They admit they know nothing
Weve done nothing at all
But these fools were good for something

We saw ourselves as smarter
But come to realize
these fools truly grasp
what matters in life

We fall
We feel pain
A loss of will and heart
We think that it is over
When light turns to dark
This is life

But we must strive, survive, and fight
from dusk unto dawn
For even if it ends for us
For others it goes on

These tan lines remind me of
a time when I was truley happy.
Not long ago
I was with you.
My sunray - the only one
that I don't despise,
could never block out.
These tan lines remind me of
you and I.
Misplaced.
A bit uneven.
But they will stay there
as long as my sun ray
continues to shine.