The Whitlams sing that “There’s no aphrodisiac like loneliness, truth beauty and a picture of you”
Unfortunately the lyrics kinda go down hill from there, I am unsure what they were drinking or smoking as they wrote the rest of the lyrics, but they wasted a perfectly good start to a song by continuing to drink/smoke as they wrote, just my opinion, but  I digress.
Why are we as a whole world seemingly obsessed with things that we think are going to improve ours or someone else’s *** performance. Chinese herbal medical is full of such “remedies “as is some European countries. I might add Chinese medical is also full of treatments that actually work too. Ok so I know I’ve shown my hand a bit early as to where I am going with this but heres the thing.
I am no expert on ***; I have nothing to really prove or disprove that statement but heres my theory anyway.
If you think that taking a potion is going to give yours or some one else’s *** drive magical powers, well maybe I need to ask why do you want that in the first place. I understand people have physical and mental issues that affect ****** performance but, consuming ground rhino horn or Spanish Fly, which ironically isn’t from Spain or a fly, and the bug it is made from is REALLY nasty, I don’t think is the solution.
So here my solution to the whole problem whilst still using all of the top ten things people believe are aphrodisiac’s.
1/ Find a person whom you look at and go,” Well she/he’s a bit of alright” best said with a British accent, ask them out to dinner.
2/ Have an entrée of fresh oysters washed down with a glass of Chablis but don’t over do it on the alcohol.
3/ Ensure your main meal includes something low in fat and high in nutrition
4/ Order Chocolate anything as a desert.
5/Talk to the person during dinner and tell them if you are happy with your life or sad and the reasons why.
6/ When you are finished dinner go for a short walk talking about anything that pops into your head and allowing the other person to do the same, hence building up a level of respect between the two of you.
7/ If you end up going somewhere to have ***, before u do, go online and donate to the “save the Rhino fund” once again building up the respect that you have for each other for donating to a worthy cause and helping your own self esteem
8/Ensure u take some aspirin with u to take in the morning in case u had little too much Chablis.
And that pretty much covers it.
1. Ground Rhino horn
2. Spanish Fly
3. Alcohol
4. Chocolate
5. Oysters
6. Yohimbe, Tribulus, Maca i.e. [All traditional African herbs]
7. ******
8. Psychoanalysis
9. Getting in Shape
10. Respect
And no I didn’t miss anything, if restaurant is Spanish and outdoors, and Aspirin was found originally in Willow bark a naturally occurring herb and the rest, read between the lines
Well ok you got me on the ****** thing but all it does is increase blood flow and give you an ******* that wont go away, that would seem annoying not a turn on , so I left it out.
Good luck to us all.
In hind sight with all the time it took me to write this I could have just listened to track 1 and not track 3  and said, The Whitlams have a really cool song called “ Blow up the Pokies” I agree with everything they say in that song and it makes complete sense. That way you wouldn’t have had to read all the other stuff. Unlucky for you I guess
Besides talking about blowing up stuff these days can get you locked up in a detention centre for an indeterminate time. And that would be really no good for your *** life anyways unless you bat for the other team, which I don’t. So track three probably was wise choice after all.

Throughout the years many people who have got to know me, have asked me the same question. How can you not know the lyrics to that song, you must have heard it a “insert your own exaggeration here” times.
And my answer used to be always the same.
“I listen to music before I listen to lyrics, without music a song has no meaning.”
Then I listened to a guy called Marshall Mathers or you may know him better as Eminem or Slim Shady.
The first song I heard I really do not recall, but it was a while ago, at least over ten years ago. Strangely enough one of my long time favourite artists, Elton John whom I have liked since I was 15 years old has collaborated with a few Rap artists over the years, including Eminem.
In another strange twist, Marshal Mathers produced an album in 2006ish that included a song put together by Mathers, called Ghetto Gospel, which was a combination of a song from Tupac Shakur from the mid nineties, and a really obscure song from Elton John from the early 70’s. This song features one of the best lines I have heard;
“Before we find world peace, we gotta find peace in that war on the streets”.
The simplicity and accuracy of that phrase, I find astonishing and changed the way I think about music and life.
I often wonder if obtaining world peace is possible. I do know it’s a complex issue beyond my understanding, but then again humans fit in the same category for me.
When I see people work together in the face of adversity such as natural disasters and atrocities committed in the name of religion and racial difference, people risking their lives and dieing to save complete strangers during these times, I wonder why, when a lot of the same people think that the world is “safe” again, they go back to their ignorant and bigoted opinions.
I am sure if those same people would just open their eyes on a daily basis when they pick up their kids from school in Alice Springs, when they drive to the mosque in Decatur or when they just walk down a street in Khartoum, and look at what’s going on in their own lives maybe then the world can start to change.
Cause whether you are white person in a town full of aboriginal heritage or a catholic that lives in the same street as the most sacred Islamic building in your part of middle America or even if you are Hollywood movie star going for cruise on the Nile we all need to look at what is going on in your own life before you declare war on the rest of the world.
Isn’t it strange that a violent black man born in Harlem in the 70’s who ironically died from gunshot wounds in a street in Vegas in the 90’s, who was a amongst many other things a convicted ******, whose Mother was an active member of the Black Panther Party and once was charged with over 150 counts of conspiracy and whose grandfather was convicted of ******, should have the capability to write such a simplistic thought provoking line, that changed the way  a white guy born in the 60’s in Australia thinks.
Inspiration can come from the strangest places.
So next time you go to “declare war” on something, look at your own lawn around your house, you may just find it needs tending to first. You may even find some roses you never knew where there and realise how good they smell.
I like roses they remind me of my mother.

There’s a line in a movie which goes something like “pain is good, it lets you know you are still alive”. The obvious question that I can hear you asking is “So when the pain goes away you know you’re dead?”  This inevitably leads to a conversation about life after death.
Now that topic can be dangerous if you don’t walk away from the conversation quickly enough, at one of “those” parties, you know the ones; the one you would not have gone to if you knew that the person who invited you believed in the power of healing crystals. So as the bottles of wine get emptier, the part time philosophers get louder and more opinionated about everything from the existence of an afterlife to what was the “real” message behind the final episode of M.A.S.H. And yes, I have been unfortunate enough to actually hear some overfilled part time philosopher postulate a well thought out, theory on the subject at an Italian restaurant in Brisbane and unfortunately was only up to desert so could not escape without missing out on coffee and Muscat and cigars. It was a tough call though.  Ah smoking in a restaurant, those were the days, now where was I?
So given the opportunity to choose an activity which you know involves pain, i.e.: Rugby League, running a Marathon, Childbirth or  listening to drunk part time philosophers at parties, why would you knowingly throw yourself into any of these extreme sports? Well maybe because the rewards of the end result are worth the pain involved during the activity. So that cool night in that Italian restaurant I sat through Scott’s theory, not knowing at the time if the pain of the story was going to be offset by the quality of the temptations to follow desert. And so that leads me to the reason for writing this. A friend of mine recently wrote. “Apparently any given situation can look good if viewed from the right angle. Sometimes I get cramps!”
Well my friend the Muscat was good that night, the coffee rich and earthy and the cigars cheap but free. Scotts actual theory is long gone from my head but the memory of that Muscat coffee and cigars lingers for twenty years.
I am lead to believe that cramps may be a symptom or complication of pregnancy, kidney disease, thyroid disease, hypokalemia, hypomagnesaemia or hypocalcaemia (as conditions), restless-leg syndrome, varicose veins,[2] and multiple sclerosis.
So, given that if in fact it turned out that you had one of these afflictions and the cramps lead you to discovering this fact, I would say the cramps; like my terrible dinner experience, viewed from the right angle looks good! Now off to the doctor with you, I’m off to the bottleshop.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I know air exists cause I breath it, I know God exists cause in 1968 I think, I’ll check my dates with Mum when she answers her phone, I witnessed a miracle first hand that involved my Grandfather Albert and my Uncle Keith. The details of which are no real matter for the moment.
I do not blame God for bad stuff; I just don’t have the depth to fathom how it all works. When I don’t understand how something works, it troubles me. I am troubled by God being so mysterious, same reason I can’t watch magicians, tricky little suckers.
I just wish God would be a bit more obvious sometimes like when I witnessed that miracle at a young age. I now occasionally discuss this with him to the point where we argue, well I argue and I guess he is just nodding and doing that “all knowing” smile thing he does which quiet frankly annoys me as well, cause in my opinion if he can be that obvious once, surely he can help out again occasionally by doing something biblically obvious.
To be fair to God, a lot of stuff troubles and annoys me that "normal" people are not troubled by so maybe I should cut him some slack, but I'm not giving those **** magicians a break, they are still on my "**** list" as are the people from funniest home video, but that’s another story.

I was walking around the house I live in today picking up after the morning rush hour as I call it. I have been here a little over three years so it is very familiar, the clothes are mine the books, the furniture, the children, every room every smell is me. Then I went to my ensuite to brush my teeth and as I looked in the mirror I noticed that the person in there was not as familiar as everything I had just seen. He was old, a little overweight and had a lost sad look in his eyes. It made me ponder and wonder how he had gone from being what I was expecting to see in the mirror, to this stranger who looks so lost and removed from how he was supposed to turn out.
My eldest daughter turned 16 last Wednesday, and we spent the day together doing a little shopping, just hanging out, talking about everything and nothing as it were and I was talking about “the old days”, and she said but you can’t’ live with regrets, to which I replied yes you can, you do , and you can’t avoid it, What you have to do is realize the stuff that you need to regret to prevent yourself or any one that you love deeply doing similar things which will lead them down a path of regret. I gave her the best and closest and most personal example I could give her at the time and that was meeting her mother whom I am no longer with. Now her mother over the years caused me heartache and pain, made me question my own values and judgements, alienate people whom I trusted and loved for years, amongst many other things, I am in no way blaming her, it is just a statement of fact from my perspective. Do I regret meeting her, of course not how can I. I have three children whom I love more than my own life because I met her. Can I regret some of the decisions I made in that relationship, of course not, everything you do has a causal effect on the future, if I regretted anything in that relationship it would change the way things are now, My children live with me, and if I regretted i.e.  wanted to change something about my time with their mother it may change where I am today, Once again my children live with me, are healthy and love me, why would I want risk changing that. Of course this is all theoretical because we can’t change the past, take back what we did etc. but it does make for an interesting discussion and of course is the subject of many Hollywood movies.
The Back to the future franchise manages to cover the subject with humour whist the movie” The Butterfly Effect” with Ashton Kutcher was  very dark, but dealt with essentially the same subject, change the past and its causal effect on the current.
“Regrets I’ve had a few, but then again too few to mention my friends I’ll say it clear I'll state my case of which I’m certain to think I did all that and may I say not in a shy way, oh no. oh no not me, I did it, my way.”
If only I was sure of my choices as Frank Sinatra.

One shot at life
Is it a shot in the dark as the saying goes?
Or is it a shot that is aimed and targeted by what we choose to do.
What happens when that shot goes off target?

Can we take another shot or is all we have is one shot
So what if we are aiming at the wrong target and don’t realise can we take it back and re aim.
I know I have missed the target which makes me feel like I have failed and I am insignificant now, I suppose the point is that I feel something.

Life takes the strangest turns you get blinded by your dreams
And when dreams become a reality you can barely believe they are real
You question yourself to see if it’s true, not knowing who to ask who to turn to
But trust the feeling in your soul, the feeling you are now complete

Life is the strangest thing it gives you dreams then takes your dearest things
In moment things change and you can’t tell when it happened
Years go by and suddenly things just aren’t the same
You can’t figure out when things changed you just know they have

Don’t waste a minute treat each one as your last
For tomorrow we can’t tell what may pass
Choose the life that is best for the ones that you love
Life may take them from you and you will end up in the dark

So if you have to face that darkness you need to do it alone
No distractions to misguide you from the path back to your hearts home
Don’t look behind at the what ifs, cause they can’t help you now
Look forward and never stop trying to correct your mistakes of the past.

So if it takes your life time to get back your hopes and dreams
Every painful minute she is away will be worth it when she once again is your arms
Never forget what has happened but never dwell on the past.
Because to lose the love of you life from carelessness, is a tragedy that no one can endure.

Who can tell when you first open yours eyes what the day holds for you.
Open your eyes brush your teeth plan your day, is your day going to be a day in the life like Harold Crick the guy from Stranger than Fiction or Phil Conners the weather guy from Groundhog Day or perhaps a little of both.
I used to find ground hog day funny now I’m not so sure.
Life is bad enough sometimes without it repeating itself until we get it right and resolve the issues that make us a person other people talk about in less than complimentary tones behind our back.
However Harold Crick, (google it if you don’t know this guy) perhaps got it right accepting his fate eventually with grace as he felt his ending was poetic and just; if only we could all be so lucky to know our fate in advance and accept that all our lives end and we need to accept it.
As with Harold, by accepting the inevitable does that give us a chance for our ending to take another path not of our or anyone else’s choosing but simply a random series of events that makes things turn out the way they turn out and it is as simple as that.
Some may say life is not like the movies or soap operas. But where do you think the writers get there ideas from. If you look at comedy writers, some of the universally funny comedians such as Billy Connelly or Jerry Seinfeld take their humour from real life.
The writers of Groundhog Day must have at some stage thought what if you couldn’t move on to the next day until you got it right and then wrote the script. As Bill Murray’s character said in Groundhog Day, “I was in the ****** Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over, and over, and over... Well Bill, life’s like that, we don’t get to choose, and that’s not funny.