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Emanuel Martinez Mar 2011
Deafening, will your voice become
Poison entering my ears
Rather make them bleed
With thundering melodies all around

For no excuses will erase
Your slithering thoughts
Trying to hide behind your mind

Gather my insecurities
And throw them in my face
Then you go play your games
Expecting me to give way
Telling me, “very be docile to my words!”

But you got me wasting time
No matter what happens,
You tell me,
“Sacrifice your time to prove your worth”

Deafening will your voice become
Poison entering my ears
Rather make them bleed
With thundering melodies all around

Master puppeteer you must be
For you got me thinking I’m insane
And I’m trembling with
Hot vile churning through my mind

Shatter every last bit of me
Take the part that belongs to you
And shred it with the sharpness of your tongue

Sickness will drown you
For being so brazen with my pain
My wounds will breathe through your rejection
Hate me for being me

Shallow waters will succumb
The heat of ignorance will make them
Fruitless and dry, and too late
You will see the springs of my heart
March 14, 2011
Emanuel Martinez Mar 2011
Self-breed hatred so easily suppressed
Taunted by the world, it’s waiting to explode
No, there’s no true taste, we’re only meandering
Listening to the menacing roar begging
To be given breath to materialize

Subtle commentary begins to eat at the flesh of self-belief
Identity crises momentarily paralyze audacity’s ammunition
True sights of self-aesthetic-beauty tremble
Diminishing that part of self-worth
Looming attacks threaten to pour over and reduce
The value of internal splendor for it’s seemingly of no use

Every praise never given to the self but to someone else
A constant crack at the foundation of self-love, it subconsciously ensures
She and she and she and she are said to be wonderful, but never the self

Realization that from any angle the self is not good enough
Leaves the mind discombobulated for lifelong sentiments of inadequacy
Seems to be the only route

Unconscious self denigration provokes false sense of value
For the true inner wealth in self-worth is sullied and unidentifiable

But the self is not merely self-loath and harboring of inadequacy
For goodness in abundance is found a few peals away from the layers of insecurity
March 6, 2011
Emanuel Martinez Jun 2011
Don't ruin the moment
We have a whole semester
To dismantle this ticking bomb
Surely we wont let it explode

Just smile at me and feel at ease
Don't occupy yourself with breaking my heart
There is plenty of time left to take jabs

Look at my eyes and for a moment
See the love in my soul
Don't deny me your warmth just yet
There is plenty of time to refuse my hugs

I know you'll soon be leaving my side
Is not you,is not me, its destiny tearing us apart
Even if you still loved me then
We'll be far apart

Its killing me inside
I want to be selfish for your love
Though I got to come to terms

I must let you go
But dont let me down so hard so soon
We have plenty of time to fall

Please give me
The best months of my life
And then you can leave
Make it seem like a dream
And then we can wake

Why end it so soon
When you know we'll be seeing each other
For a few months more

If we were meant to be
Than we will make it, far or near
But for now, can we please live in this happiness
Let us suspend it in time
January 8, 2011
Emanuel Martinez Jun 2011
It is a labor of love
That which I work

You ignore me
And you don't respond

I say, I love you
And you seem hollow
Take it lightly
That's all you can do

So afraid to know that is real
Thus you shunt me aside

Is this thing one sided!
No, I know that you need me
I want you to need me
I need you to need me

It is a labor of love
Which I will keep braking my back for

For some it takes a lifetime to fully fall in love
And to find a place to belong

Call me naive
But I think I've found a place of my own
In your heart

It is a labor of love
Which I will sweat through tears and blood

I wont rest until I've made you understand
There's only place for you in my heart

No matter if it brakes my heart
It is a labor of love
Which I will work over for your heart
January 9, 2011
Emanuel Martinez Jan 2011
Don't criticize, don't criticize that man
For enjoying something you deem a waste of time

Let him have something for himself

In our petty little lives
There is nothing keeping us going

Taking care of a wife and children
That is the only duty he is obliged to

Mother and wife must give up her life
Once that child is born
There is no greater purpose than for her to see that child through

The only thing giving them hope
Is the love hanging by a thread
And when there is no faith hope tends to snap

Don't criticize, don't criticize them
For seeming different than you

Let them have something for themselves
If it means keeping them alive

Working double shifts,
Overworked and underpaid
Her hands are always in pain

And you dare snare at her
Because she doesn't dress as well as you

Never home and undernourished
He is only trying to provide for his home
By being at work day and night
Feeding himself is only secondary to the hunger of his child

Don't criticize, don't criticize me
For being wrong, I will fall down to my knees

Let me have something for myself
If it means keeping me alive
January 2011
Emanuel Martinez Jun 2011
There is someone who I love
Someone who hurt this Christmas
And there are many others out there
Who are bereft of the brightest warmest sentiments the heart can experience

While the rest of us are ignorant of these happenings
All wrapped up in presents and drinking cheers
We fall short of being grateful for having somewhere to belong

For some the winter in their hearts is not nearly over when the holiday season is over
They are hurt from within and have yet to find somewhere to belong

It is sadness which confines me
The thought that my loved one goes sick
From within every Christmas

To think the winters in my love's soul
Are but shared by so many around the world
Yet the rest of us are careless, selfish and blinded by our needs

How many Christmases and winters would I spend in hurt and suffering
Just so that the one I love felt right at home for one Christmas night

How forgetful are we that a warm room and a petty meal
Might be a human necessity to subsist through the winter
But love and a sense of belonging is all that keeps us alive

We can not afford to not touch lives
And share our love and kindness with everyone

My loved one, if you ever fear you're alone
Don't worry God knows where you belong
If anything in my heart there is a place for you

If you feel alone you can belong with me
Strangers and enemies if you feel alone you can belong with me

Let us all be fearless in our efforts to share our blessings
We can not afford to not let others know they belong with us

It is a vicarious pain which I have come to assimilate as my own
The hurt which the one I love feels at times
And which many others feel all the same

The world is full of another type of hunger and yearning
Thus we shall not weaver in a journey
To help others find meaningfulness in their lives
And help them feel like they belong

If I could only accomplish to make the one I love feel a sense of belonging...

And if you feel like you can't make another feel like they belong
Because you yourself feel alone in this world
Please never give up the fight

Look within your self and know
There is someone out there like me
Yearning and waiting to let you know
Here...you are loved
Here...you are meaningful
Here...you belong

Look at a stranger's eyes and smile
Look within in their soul and find solace in their existence

There are more than six billion souls out there
And although on the outside we seem different
In the end we are all connected and we belong
December 26, 2010
Emanuel Martinez Dec 2010
Don't have own voice
Its much too small
But wants to shout

Skies are filled with blue
But don't really see it
Cause sight is blind to light

Emotions almost burst out
But fears keep them trapped
so their bottled up inside

Music fills the atmosphere
But don't really hear it
Cause beautiful sounds are tuned out

Love wants to shine
Though it wont be let out
Cause mind demands control

Its a jar of jumbled up treasures
All beautiful but trapped within
October 6, 2010
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