that cold February night my heart shattered
February 21st felt the pain so heavy in my chest
I thought I would never recover but
he came back with promises like flowers
as my trust blossomed beautifully
he came back with apologies like songs
as my heart beat to the tune of his
the melody of our love flowing through my veins
like a drug that made me feel infinitely lost
in this world we had
until I heard the word February
my ears rang, my chest tightened
that cold night with frozen tears
I began to see the wilting promises
and how the apologies skipped like
scratches on the record
the rush in my veins no longer
lit my eyes up, it made them weary
nothing was different

I was still in love with the boy
who tainted my heart
and I was letting him do it again

It’s late afternoon
I catch your eye
hoping you’ll hold my gaze
you never do
you look to the side
or to a friend
or to the dust on the floor
anywhere that does not include
looking into the wide eyes
of the girl who sobbed
when she broke your heart

All I want is your gaze, but
I know that the day you resolve
to hold eye contact
that your gaze will be empty,
the same way I left you feeling
that warm June day.
The day you understood that
I was terrified of looking into
someone’s eyes and telling the
truth