Your hands around my waist
as we walked through more aisles
Our arguments were of
deciding who cared to carry
We head back for campus tours
and that was enough.
The screaming and cryings
Forgotten

You were mine
for too brief a moment
Only until dusk turned into dawn.

I kissed him tenderly
He made out
I am in love
He just wants fun.

With him, nothing ever seemed certain.
His replies were a two second wait or
a two week pause.

Everything was a competition.
"I'm sure he likes the heels I have on today,
more than that pretty blonde he just checked out."
Some days, he thought I was the prettiest thing.

I'd have to wait till the hype
of the football match finally simmered down
before we could cuddle and laugh.
But there were times where he'd abandon it
and turn the channel to my favourite classic.

I could never be sure
but I gave him everything.

It was so wrong
but it felt so...good.

How is it possible to love someone
with every bone of your body
each fibre in your heart
all ticks in the clock
in every breath of lungs
with everything in your mirror's reflection

When he doesn't even remember
you're there.

I find myself roaming the Seven Dials
with the shop staff filling in the greetings
that I never received
from the ones I thought I loved and
those who loved me back.

With those who I barely know
those wishes albeit short
were pure and genuine
those who I held onto, depended on
let me down, yet again
Have I invested in the wrong people?

I am 21 now
and how did it take so long
to realise that this life
is filled with fake friends-
no, acquaintances.

It's 20 degrees and sunny
I shiver and shake
I am still slipping into love abyss.
What was once love -
your love
turns icy stone
I feel it cold at my spine.

You're no longer here
but I've kept the fire burning.

Every thought I've had,
every desire I've felt,
every word fighting to escape,
has been shushed by
the reality of the truth.

Subdued feelings and
quietened lips hold
a strong silence that
play dangerously in my ears,
in my heart.

239 souls are lost to the sea,
but in our hearts there's hope;
the angels are guiding them ,
through stars and leading them
to You.

"Goodnight", MH370.

I find myself
tripping on my own
two feet.
Nothing weighs
me down
but myself.
I set sail
searching for
myself
only to find
my own persona
******* in knots.

I am lost.

I watch her smile
and red locks fall
not quite perfectly
into place
they call her
the plain jane
but we watch
gentlemen
falling into line.
there is something
about her -
I can't put my finger on
but still
everybody loves her.

The streets of Paris -
the long walks
in the drizzle of rain
the lamp posts
and the ornate structures
are not quite as beautiful
when you're holding
her hand.

No Eiffel tower
can tell you
how much I love you
The warm waft
of a croissant
is not enough
even when washed down
with hot chocolate
to take away
this bitter taste.

The Pont de l'Archeveche,
the love lock bridge.
they say the padlock
symbolises eternal love
throwing the key
into the river
binds us
everlasting.
But just like the key
you are gone
forever.

your words lead the staccatos in my heart
a symphony starting gentle and soft
teasing to the richest crescendo
and it stops. at the ****** of two highest notes.

your voice is a soothing tune
a reminder of how our bodies entwined
moved in soulful harmony -
the sweetest sonata of our time.

the hummings you hear
is the tune at work
at binding my heart
to this one true love.
the pedal point that holds our song
courses through my every node
bringing me life
like how your words
give breath to my smile.
this love is true
my heart beats for you
with the steadiest of rhythms
alongside quaver notes
deep in song
as I have found myself
deep in your promising love.

There is something
about waking at 5 -
what is it? -
that keeps bringing me back.

It is the silence
that is so loud.

It is the darkness
that perfect amount of glare.

It is the rare headlights
seen from afar
You being to wonder.

It is the tip toeing down
the excitement when it creeks.

It is the break from humanity
''it's just me now.''

It is the two leaves
shaking so slightly.

It is the odd lone star
that fades away.

It is watching black
turn red
then blue.

It is waiting
one
by
one
for the house to wake.