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Elsbeth Poe Dec 2013
Closing your eyes
You hear a blonde
With blue eyes
American born and raised
California Valley girl
One nation, "Oh my God!"
Where women are invisible
Without a body deemed pleasant for all

You have no excuse
The sun's up there to lighten your hair
To darken your skin
"Why are you staying in?"
"Reading Sci-fi? Is that like Twilight?"
A mind full of worlds of fantasy
Where I went to escape this society

When other girls were in bikinis
I was in shorts down to my knees
Hiding thighs I felt ashamed by
******* in my belly and chin
Before I reached the age of ten

With numbers jumbling in my head
Given constant reminders
Of how dumb I was then
School meant stress
And tests
All those systems
Based on competition
Made my insides squeeze
Confidence was something foreign
I could not achieve

Words like "ugly" and "stupid"
Inducing tear soaked knees
Or was my hazy brain and pain
From the lack of food in my stomach those days
For years I continued to throw it away
While my girlfriends would eat and eat all day
The same amount was weight I'd gain

"You should go out for dance or swim!"
Full of formfitting uniforms I was made fun of in

Maybe that's why I have a soft spot
For all our patriotic jiggly kids
Especially round little girls
In a man driven world
Of "achieve and succeed"
Led to believe
The worth of a woman
Only lies in her body
In beautiful eyes
In perfect teeth
And long thick hair
In her physical potentials to make males stare

Comments about my perceived beauty
Never made me feel at ease
Why would people choose only to see
All of the things that do not make me me

In youth
"She's so cute!"
Then suddenly
You're a ****** object
From the age of thirteen
"They're compliments!"
"Say thank you"
To cars that shout
And men that stare
To whistling lips
And grabbing hands
Taking Innocence
With these my widening hips

In patriarchy
The Land of the Free
Has yet to mean equality
My country made it clear to me
Girls and boys don't start side by side
Like my bother I wanted a skateboard to ride
Not his face
But his interests
Were how he was defined
While I was told
My mind was of a different size

Still I never stopped running
And managed to find
This hidden word
"Objectified"
-To regard as a thing
-Disregarding feelings

This societal demise
Violent crimes on the rise
With women not often the ones taking lives
I almost can't blame them
When they do as they see
When men are taught they need power
Not regard or empathy

At fourteen
A tall man in leather
Chased me
Kidnap or ****
I was his for the take
Though I managed to flee
That fear cut me deep
And I knew in that moment
Strength was something I'd need

Now as girls we're taught we're fragile
But let's go back again
Back as far as I remember
I longed to roughhouse with men

When I wanted to join the wrestling team
They thought that of course I must be joking
Laughing at the idea of a girl with the desire to do
One more thing
Meant for the boys
"Not you"

To this day when I strike my Rosie posie
Riveting muscles put proudly on display
They chuckle at my love to do push ups each day

"It's not ladylike to show you have strength"
"It's not **** to be a woman who's strong"
"Muscles on girls look weird and wrong"
"Don't intimidate men"
"They prefer women thin"

But we all know that's not how it's always been.
Just take a look at Marilyn
American curves they used to define beauty and grace
But Hollywood only gave her the role of young blonde with no brains

In the melting *** of the U.S.A.
A melding of women of all shapes and age
A stew that's consistent of quite the array
But yet there's just one type of ******* display
And it's ******* time that ******* change

America's the beautiful?
What a stupid form of praise.

E.Poe
*Dec 2013
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
Back to me
I leave my shadow behind
Tears washing Alaska away
Looking out the window
I love to say goodbye

Back to me
Will you want my love
Will you want my forgiveness
I know you have a good heart inside
But I will never again trust you with mine

Back to me
So many only face ahead
Filling their minds with fluff
They choose to be
Zombies wandering aimlessly
Unconscious to what harm they give

Back to me
On route to my familiar ground
I'm whole again
Roots start spreading back beneath

Back to me
No longer trapped on an island in a cage
I watch the mountains shrink below me
From this plane
I'm finally free
To spread my aching wings

Back to me
I'm safe again now
just to be

E.Poe
*Nov 2013
Elsbeth Poe Oct 2013
Maybe she stained your mind
But her beauty has nothing to do with your eyes

That face was formed
Through trust and love
Through sharing food
And songs
And belly rubs

The first time she fell in
Heart and soul
Under the stars she drew a sun
On the warm concrete floor

Just like you
She is constantly fighting with fear
But she turns it to caring
For those she holds dear

Her spirit is kind
And her mind is sharp

But when it comes to true beauty
This her world
Chooses
To live in the dark

*-E. Poe
Elsbeth Poe Oct 2013
Change
Is coming now
Filling my lungs and heart

Before I felt it on the way
Change was a beautiful ghost

A whimsical speckle of a prospect
A nonsensical wisp of a dream

Change it brought me back
It poured me back into this shell

A phantom woman crab
Dragging this hollowed body alone for so long
I had forgotten how to move forward

With each heavy clacking step  
my shadow wake is where I found
I left more me behind  

Always ever heavier
While lightening the load

E. Poe
*Oct. 2013
Elsbeth Poe Oct 2013
Standing outside
In what I am I see so clear
But your eyes are clouded
And this veil's too hard to wear

Not where, who

Love the golden
The golden of heart
The truth seers
The spirit seekers

They know you
They can see through this, your costume of skin

Let the others
The others lost in themselves
Lost in definitions
Playing with labels

So blind they can't feel your heart beating beside them

They think they recognize the rhythm of you  
But that song they jump to claim they know so well
Is a stranger
Not even a distant relative

A foreign sound
Echoing through the cold, empty cavern you inhabit alone

But this lonely location
Born from your mind
But alive in your chest
Becomes you the longer you stay there beside them

Them the searching
Them the lost
Them the blind
To the treasures of the world they'll never find
With eyes hung up on what's outside.
Elsbeth Poe Feb 2014
Hey,
You're an *******, Darkness in my heartplace.
You think that property's for rent, mon frere?
It's ******* not, you *****. Get out of there.
If you smear your **** on the walls again, I swear.
I say it like it is. You're a *******. *******.
Merde.

E.Poe
*Feb 2014
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
Time fleeting
Humans being
Bones moving
People choosing
Life dying

Once there was a village
Once she was his friend
Once they played in forrest trees
Once parents trusted them
Once things began to change there
Once time came swiftly then
Once villages are emptied, the ghosts stay haunting them.

I wish we all knew the way to cure contagious hate
I wish she was given your castle and you could give hunger a definition
I wish every child knew they were safe and loved
I wish there were no rich
I wish there were no poor
I wish I could see exactly what every heart needs
I wish as people we'd all live aware that our lives are meant to be lived for others

They know why it is that they hate
This world is in beautiful shape
I have never felt alone
I have broken all my bones
*** it doesn't feel good
I love machines that chop up wood
You will never make me cry
And eventually I'll never die

E.Poe
*Nov 2013
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
Humans
So much power
Over themselves
Each other
The planet

They seem to forget
Or try to prove how much they know

Until there's death
Then they remember what their arms are for

He held me in the hospital
Though the nurses told him not to

I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for those arms
The whole world only makes sense mid bear-hug

When you touch
Feel

When you speak
Hear

Look
See

Smell
Remember
We're all in this together

E. Poe
*Nov 2013
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
Dealing with being
A living breathing
Human being
That's the stuff
The simple complexity
Of everything
The characters of our stories play
Villains
Heros
Daily change
We come and go
We choose our words
The sky shifts
With the weather inside
The pain
The joyful tears
Echos asking
Why are we here

E.Poe
*Nov. 2013
Elsbeth Poe Oct 2013
By throwing caution to the wind
I will sing for you
But I'm no fiddle
To be played and laid aside

My heart, My body, My music
I decide

Your eyes, a mirror
The growing light bursting from my fingertips and toes
Causes my shadows to dance across the walls

The energy of a kindergarten classroom bouncing in my body
A spirit  made not to stay stuck to the ground
Dreaming, Stretching, Climbing

Those, my people, define me
Drums beating the rhythm of my motion's design

No sample to be grabbed
Unwrapped
A tester
Then to be put back

When you hold me
Hear the beating
Of this feeling that's my being

What I want to be
Is excited till I'm not, see?
Deserving of my heart
You very well may not be

Unwilling to play
"Do you, Don't you?" The game
Don't shove me
Afraid that I might someday go away
If you push me now
That'll be the choice you made

When it comes to this short precious life
Playtime's ending whistle blows
You do or you don't
You're the only one who knows

The birthplace of fear
To identify
We learn in time
Understanding
Now or then
What it is
While it lives
In the now
Here it is

Giving  faith
We choose our team
To pass a fragile thing
Back and forth
Sharing something new
Me & You
No fear
Just truth

I will love you
Because that's what I do
I will love you
Because I don't know
What else there is in life
But love that's true
Will I find my source in you?

Life is Fleeting
Love is Time
Time is Energy
Energy is Life

Without Honesty
Everything means Nothing

We're off to Never Neverland
But Time keeps moving forward

My happy thoughts will always be the things that make me soar
But who and what and where will be the reason they are born?

E.Poe
*Oct. 2013
Elsbeth Poe Aug 2014
How best to confess
My love to somebody
When love
Tastes so foreign on my tongue

I've been swallowing my feelings
Words caught in my esophegus
With a burning in my chest
From staying blocked for so long

After years being trapped
With a bully for a brain
Continually kicking that selfsame ***
Instead of standing up to and for me

Filling up on negativity
Cooking up a whole buffet

A refrigerator full
For a glutton for punishment
Binging when life began feeling too easy

I'm going on a diet
Self hate
It got me all sorts of out of shape

Wheezing while my heart is squeezing
Air masks dropping from above
Remind me of that thing
Inhaling

Scrambling hands
How did I become so blue
I've got to be able to breathe
To help you to do it too

And you can call me a hog
But it's the same with love

How could I be so blind
When there are mirrors in your eyes
This confession's first meant for me.
And ******* it
I'm taking the time

Giving me a grateful minute to gather myself
Arms filling up with bushels
I can secondhand over to you.


E.Poe
July 2014
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
The boys were allergic
But before Dad came along
Mom had always been a cat whisperer

I saw her do it at a party once
Tongue rolling
Fingers twitching
From across the room
The little panther was entranced

Burn worthy witchcraft
I knew she had a way with birds
But this was something new
Something foreign and beautiful

Surprise surprise
It was a black kitty cat Halloween
Mom cut out ears to attach to my headband
Then drew dark brown eyeliner whiskers
With a triangle on the tip of my 6 year old nose
All in black
Part ninja
Part cat

We were off
Brother and sister
Pillowcases in hand
Noticing my lack of tail Mom called me back

She reached into the costume box and grabbed a long dark braid
With one swift tuck into the back of my pants
An instant flawless feline emerged ready to make her debut
And boy did I play the part

Prancing back from the hunt
There she was silhouetted in the doorway
Tongue rolling
Fingers twitching

******* on sweet tarts
I didn't stand a chance

A family of actors
"Mom, look what I found! Can we keep it?"
They each took turns petting the newest addition
And Dad let out a convincing sneeze

A life I could get used to
Tick Tock the cockatiel
Had better watch her back

E.Poe
*Oct 2012
Elsbeth Poe Jun 2014
I hear the crows
...Or ravens?
Whatever they be
They shout their songs
Like impatient mothers needing sleep

I hear the cleaning of her feet
With sheets below her and above me
The kitten bathes between my knees

I hear the bus hiss down the street
Static strangers attend this church on wheels
Moving together with each bump that they feel

I hear a soccer game on TV
Roommates scream with loyalty

I hear myself as I keep typing
Same as my mustachiod dad's
What with the wall that we shared
Unaware
As he lulled me deep into dreaming

E.Poe
June 2014
I'm
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
I'm
I'm the strange bursts of color you see with eyes closed trying to rub away the sleep.
I'm the rattling of the drawer. That old glass pill bottle full of baby teeth mom saved.
I'm the moss covered tilted grave. The one you can no longer read.
I'm the realization "ohmygodthat'sme".

I'm strong.
I am.
I'm willing to show you.

I'm a juxtaposition. An old soul mid cartwheel.

I'm a lover.
I'm a dream climber. A star wisher.

I'm as cheesy as the moon.
I'm crazy and woo woo.
I'm always on the move.

I'm the product.
I'm the salesman.
I'm afraid.

I'm careful.
I'm stubborn.
I'm brave.

I'm extreme.
I'm full of ready tears.
I'm full of ****.
I'm a broken record. Steady streaming of these feelings.

I'm a candid photograph. A fleeting moment that can live again.
I'm always hungry for positivity.
I'm fed up with proud ignorance.

I'm haunted by my purpose.
I'm trying to make a difference.

I am part of everything.

I'm a woman.
I'm a man.

I am.
I am.
I am.

E.Poe
*Nov 2013
Elsbeth Poe Feb 2016
Sometimes I stay up all night cleaning
And when it come 3 and 4 AM I think more clearly
Cause collective consciousness shuts way up
When everyone around me's sleeping

It's called the witching hour
When I finally get the ground below my feet to stop moving
And I can see that I've just been busy proving
I'm enough!
Or maybe not...

And my broomstick tries sweeps my past away
Till I'm remembering that its no tangible thing
Yet I live like back then they cursed me

Like every moment I don't have the ruby slippers
To click my heels right back

To now

This moment
It's all we really have
Yet inside our heads we live in future and past
Like this idea of me that was there
Will undoubtedly be there tomorrow

But a meteor could be only seconds away
To wipe us clear off of this planets face

And how the hell do I win this race
With all these definitions they gave me to carry
And this closet of clothes they think define me
I keep purging and redesigning

Imagine if we saw souls not bodies
Our definition of beauty would be
What?
Not something just comprised by constructs built by society
In which we buy into

Seriously…what the **** is beauty?
Everywhere we go it shifts shape completely
Morphing with each place and time
Just look at fashion over centuries

So what makes all our ideals seem so true?
How bout we stop with the seeing
and start hearing what the skin bags are saying
What are they committed to?

**** then maybe it's the words I said that comprise me
That I didn't even mean when they came out of me

And look at that!
I just brought myself back there to then
In the time machine inside me head

And so I keep staying up through the night
To wash the crap that builds up on my mirrors away
Calling up the past to finish the mending that I gave up on
And magically the spell is being broken

The wicked witch is under the house it's true
But instead of making an excuse and stealing her shoes
I call her sister to say I'm sorry

All my reasons are what I'm clearing
Justifications and excuses
That keep me smaller than my circumstances

Me-
The call and response stimuli machine
Calculating how best to survive

Is this threat I perceive
One where I run
Or one where I bare my teeth

Yet we don't see that today and tomorrow are still living out yesterday
But in 100 years will ANYONE remember what happened to you on that day?

Seriously, it's time to hose down the pigsty in your mind
Get down on your knees and scrub that **** clean
Cause your reasons for being the way that you are
Get old
They start to mold and stink the room up for the rest of us

Taoism speaks of constantly letting go
Lau Tzu wasn't talking about a garage sale
What's bogging us down
Is the **** we make up and let run our lives
But to us it's the truth and its real

But we don't live like that

To live right now
Like there's no someday to go to
Like this is the practice round and I'm just warming up
For my real life
The one where I'm gorgeous, and rich, and everyone loves me.
The one where I have a perfect childhood!
Oh wait… that's completely absurd

But it certainly doesn't feel like we're living like that
When the dramas of our lives seem so significant
And we give them permission to keep our dreams from coming alive
Aborting what's possible the second it sparks into being

Reasonable living is suffocating your happiness
And that's not just going to change

You little dust speck
You minuscule blob of atoms that will soon evaporate
In an infinitely expanding universe

Now
What are you creating?
  
E. Poe
February 2016
Elsbeth Poe Oct 2013
You need to know,
Darling Girl
That you will always be loved

And that those beautiful blues
Aren't blessings from above

The world's wolves
Won't be able
To see what's beyond them

Say "I'm smart, too."
When they're commenting on them

Sniff out
The true people
With your intuitive nose

Feed your big heart
So it constantly grows

Don't let those
Mean comments
Be a part of your life

Always say
"Wow, that really
Just wasn't so nice."

When you do something hurtful
Take no shame, say I'm sorry

Because delicate feelings
Are the reasons we worry

Connection and friendship
Is why we are living

Choose well
Whom you want
To be constantly giving

Always
Make sure
To express
How you feel

Your instincts have reason
And that's a big deal

Little One,
I sure do
Hope that you
Have been listening

Now take your eyes
Off that phone
Cause this life's
What you're missing

-E.Poe
To her niece Mia Jasmine
*October 2013
Elsbeth Poe Oct 2013
I like to crack my knuckles
I like to crack my toes
I like to be reminded
That inside we all have bones

I like to crunch on carrots
I like to crunch on chips
I like to break all of the things
In which my mouth admits

I like to hear you whisper
I like that voice I hear
I like to hear your rumble
With your breath upon on my ear
Elsbeth Poe Dec 2013
You puddle of **** mud
I'm over being stuck in you
Give me back my shoe
You don't know what you want
But I ******* do
I'm manic
With short hair
And dream a lot too
But your problems are yours
Figure out what to do
Not here on a string
A convenience for you
Not a solution
To two ***** so blue
Friendships an option
I'm no thing to do
I'm not just a pastime
To lead on and *****
I'm a person with feelings
Plumb sick of you, dude
My standards won't limbo
These choices are poo
Now please listen up
For you'll get no take two
Now hand back my heart
I'm just fine without you

E.Poe
*Dec 2013
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
I can dream
Wishes for the world
The half who makes you whole
There's so much to smile about

Start to live
Fear is stupid
So are regrets

I hate being a thing
Fooling themselves
Inventing characters for me to play
Loving somebody i wasn't

It's society who's ugly
We deserve to twinkle
After all everything's make believe

Things falling apart
Things falling together
A woman and I enjoy it
Only wanting to be wonderful

You don't need anyone
Who doesn't need you
Wise know limits
Smart know none

Falling back asleep
Just to finish a dream

E. Poe
Based on quotes by Marilyn Monroe
*Nov 2013
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
If we know that Life is Fleeting
And we know that Love is Time
We know that Time is Energy
And Energy is Life

Now take away our Honesty-
Does Everything then mean Nothing?

E.Poe
*Oct. 2013
Elsbeth Poe Dec 2011
Much has changed
In just one year
Miss some old
Fear some near

We've all grown
Shed some tears
Some through pain
Some through cheer

No longer need
Some things yearned
All have changed,
Been hurt, and learned

Some things still sting
Cause love leaves burns
Making mistakes,
We all took turns

To leap we risk
To take the fall
But we have to jump
To fly at all

Friendships have faded,
Rekindled, grown strong
We will always be grateful
For those that are gone

They helped us become
Who we are today
And taught us things
To pave our way

The memories
Will always stay
The good can stick
The bad can fade

But all of you
Who've filled my days
Have changed my life
In countless ways

Now I thank
My lucky star
Looking out
From afar

For every unique
And beautiful soul
That's filled my heart
So gosh **** full

*-E.Poe
Elsbeth Poe Feb 2014
Feeling highjacked from within
This body curls into a ball
The balanced burden of the world
Built on my shoulders starts to fall
Now with shadows closing in
I trap myself inside these walls
Where unraveling me lies tangled
As every thought is caught and strangled
This darkening it starts to scare
I've lost control
I'm well aware
Paper thin
I feel so bare
Multiplying rips, cuts, tears
Am and was
There's no compare
No, not again
Get out, despair

E.Poe
*Feb 2014
Elsbeth Poe Dec 2013
The nervous haze around my heart and bones
Makes me question every place my brain goes

Tying my tongue tight into knots
Surrounded by strangers I'm feeling so lost

There's always a few who go out of their way
To make you feel safe and hear what you have to say

You can smell a lonely person in the air
Waft them towards you and show them you care

We all take port in foreign places
Alone in new worlds not of our own

Empathy is human making
Feeling for those who are alone

E.Poe
*Dec 2013
Elsbeth Poe Dec 2013
This skin does not belong to me
A rental little body
I'm sorry for the harm I've done
I see you decomposing
Age was never thought to me
Now ticking clocks grow faster
When I accepted time
Did youth come and say goodbye
With two eyes born open wide
I was never shy to die
With accepting tears we cry
My body
God he chose her
But now we must let go
For these our final days come closer

E.Poe
*Dec 2013
Elsbeth Poe Oct 2013
FACT.
I "don't believe" in astrology.
FACT.
I am a drag queen.
FACT.
In utero I donated the left side of my brain to Steve Jobs.
I felt he had great potential.
You're welcome, Steve.
FACT.
Everything has a voice and a silly sound effect.
FACT.
Your negative attitude is poisoning the village water supply.
FACT.
New people scare me.
FACT.
Old people scare me more.
I just don't think I'd make a very good one.
FACT.
I want a small army of children.
I just never want one of those little aliens inside of me.
FACT.
You like me more now that I'm not who you told me to be.
FACT.
All of our favorite things should be memories masquerading as gifts and hand me downs.
FACT.
My thoughts like to fight each other with wooden swords.
"Knock it off! I'm on the telephone."
FACT.
My mother used to be a hummingbird.
I know this because of the speed at which she blinks when she's angry.
FACT.
He gave her a unicorn.
FACT.
I choose always to never believe what they tell me.
FACT.
You can't find the answers to your problems in a smart phone.
"Are you listening to me?"
FACT.
When I think about how many adults never stop letting others make their decisions for them.
It makes.
Me want.
To weep.
FACT.
A stranger can't see everything that makes you beautiful.
But it's as clear to me as neon.
Wrapped in glitter.
FACT.
There are never enough hours in the day.
"When's dinner?"
FACT.
You think.
You can't.
FACT.
You know.
You can.
FACT.
You'll never live in the now tomorrow.
Elsbeth Poe Oct 2013
You're a dandy dandy lion
And you never were a **** to me

That wiggling, giggling one on the grass
Gave you to me
In a small sweaty mass
In the palm of her hand

She felt
I'd been robbed
Of a wish

If you float up to Heaven
Tell the stars I'm grateful too

But how could that pair
Of innocent eyes
See how
To hug a heart
So completely
Elsbeth Poe Oct 2013
I am the turkey
You found with the palm of your hand

I am the pigeon
That fooled you for a dove
Alakazam

I am a weasel
I told you before-
My lungs are broken
Like his discarded wishbone

I am that word on the tip of your tongue
I missed my cue
When this cape got stuck to the dangly bit
It was shining
And smelled like "good morning"

I am abandoning my skeleton
I don't like the skin
That it put on today

I took a second helping of determination
Wake me in an hour-
I'll be resting
From digesting

Hold the phone-
Regret made my stomach eat itself to death

Don't Dilly Dally, Dear

I'm the rolling pen
That now lives
In your underwear drawer
I guess you'll never see me again

I'm retracting that statement
Like her claws from my Quacker Factory sweater
Sometimes we all need
A little extra support

Dearest Bones,
Without you I'm a jellyfish

I painted my face this morning
And now it's swimming inside my black tears
The proof is on the front of his shirt

I am your pillow that thinks it's a shrink
I told your hair
It needs to find a new direction in life

Don't believe me?
I'll lie back down

But give me a second-
I'm in the gutter right now
And need to clean myself off

Don't worry, Goose Darling-
A little Vitamin E oil
Will restore your immaturity
From the **** joke
That's giving you crows feet

Oh how I wish
My fossil was void of down feathers
But I frequently find
That I'm tickled inside
And how else would I fly in my dreams
Elsbeth Poe Jan 2014
Label guns drawn
They force us into boxes
Blindly yelling who we are  
Consumed with pointed fingers
Looking for easy answers
Categorizing
For strategizing
Who they want for fraternizing
Humans prepped
Know it's just a broke machine
Those aware
Come from what we choose to leave
Hard hats worn
To protect
From their obscenities
They work so hard
But can't define
Who we decide to be

E.Poe
*January 2014
Elsbeth Poe Mar 2012
Sometimes

Sometimes I want to roll my fingers
Into a fist-like configuration

All except that brave and independent index digit

Which will rise up
Bringing the ball
Of its weaker comrades along with it

And halt
A few feet
From your sometimes beautiful face

In response to this grand gesture of the hand

That strongest
Muscle of my body

Will lift
It's moist mass of taste buds
To the spot right behind
That porcelain shield
Known as my two front teeth

Then ascending from the deepest part of me
Like a hot gust of wind

The words

"You're being a ******* *******!"
Sculpted into arrows of over-articulated consonants

Will hit your sometimes beautiful face
And hopefully bring

That sometimes unbearably beautiful friend
Back

To trust me

In the way that the precious,
Rare,
And exquisite breed
Of true and selfless friend
Is always nervous

Yet eager to do
Elsbeth Poe Oct 2013
Too simple still
To fall in love
This chest was born wide open

Displaying vital organs
An extraordinary bargin

Then they began to slip away
were broken, cracked, or stolen.

And walls were built and made to stay
But now my heart is swollen

The fear of joy
For all my days
A path that could be certain

Because of that
Potential threat
To this most vital *****

E. Poe
*Oct. 2013
Elsbeth Poe Oct 2013
This skin is thin as paper
As thin as treacherous ice
As thin as empty bones of birds
As thin as silk on thighs
This skin seems made for breaking
And yet this skin is mine
thick or thin it's here to stay
And hold my guts inside
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
This place is breaking me
Brittle from the cold of this island

Stress is eating me for breakfast
A coat made with my stomach lining

Butterfly wings inside of my lungs
Heart heavy like a dripping sponge

Mud on my boots gluing me down
To a place I must leave to find myself again

It's time
Time to fly away
Back to those who know me
To those who want to hold me close
Those who barter with deep smiles and warm truths

Let me leave now
People here don't care to know my name
Two syllables they choose never to learn to say

Wrapped in their own lives
They don't look to see the child inside
The girl who only ever wanted to be loved

To be trusted with secrets
To hold and be held
To be looked at and to really see

To be the ears, arms, and eyes
There for anyone in need

E. Poe
*Nov 2013
Elsbeth Poe Sep 2015
I have a terminal disease
It's called being alive
Every day I wake up
I get to decide
To thrive and to grow
or to wither and die
To see beauty and truth
Or ugly and lies
Of no more days
Is there guarantee
So I'm done being dumb, stubborn and mean
And choose to give love
get honest, and complete
To really live everyday
Like there's nothing to lose
It's truly the way
That's why I refuse
One more half assed yesterday

E.Poe
Sept. 2015
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
I live to love
For an hour
Or forever

I live to collaborate
Wanting always for others to become a part of me
A puzzle that will never be complete

I live to make
To write
To draw
To sew
To play

I live to make mistakes
To help
And accept help
The joy of giving out party favors
The art of distinguishing those only takers

I live to tell you
How beautiful you are
Precious someone
Complete and pure
Together we've shared our sleep

I live to hold hands
Warm
Cold
Big
Small
Can something so tiny
Even count as a finger

I live to share my food
My thoughts
My dreams

I live to listen
To hear
To feel
To meet the vulnerable you
And keep that being safe

I live to give thanks
To empathize
Sympathize
Apologize

I live to encourage
To laugh
To clap
To sing

I live to dance
To move
To climb
To fly

I live always ready to say goodbye

E. Poe
*Nov 2013
Elsbeth Poe Dec 2013
I want you to touch me
I want to feel your warmth spread
Filling me with friction of blood moving through veins

I want you to kiss me gently and sweet
But to you not yet knowing who I am
I am just an idea
But I am a blood pumper too
Fearing my potential
Just like you do

With deep yearning for connection and care
I become a body aching
A brain sleeping
Trying to escape that lonely feeling

You met me in a moment of need
I want you to touch me
Teach my blood to move again
Pumping feeling back through me
Freeing my mind of the trap it's in

Yours is sunshine on my skin
I want you to touch me

E.Poe
*Dec 2013
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
Wanderlust
The song of my blood running through these veins

Please say there's someone else
Who is this antsy too
Who never can stay still
There's just too much to do

People to meet
Languages to speak
Sunsets to see
Food to eat
Mountains to climb
Stories to hear
Laughter to share

Will I ever stop to stay still
The honest truth
I would not dare

E.Poe
*Nov 2013
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
We become what we think about
We become what we label ourselves
We become who we want to be for us
We become who we want to be for them
We become our hurt
We become our joy
We become the size of our hunger for everything

E.Poe
*Nov 2013
Elsbeth Poe Dec 2013
Melted muscles
My joints are a well oiled machine
My skin tastes of salt
And freckles have grown upon my nose
Under my eyes
And over my shoulders
With the darkening of my meat coat
I cook in the sun and let it all soak
Now when I go home
My brain will have been
Baked right back to normal again

E.Poe
*Dec 2013
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
I will never put my trust inside
A broken piggy bank
That hole in your belly is where
You let resentment
Eat its way out

A helpless victim
With all the power in the world

Humans pay for happiness
Trading in trust and love
Empathy and forgiveness
Kind words and encouragement

You've lost your way
Looking for solace in judgement
Who led you to try to hurt me
When I've only ever known how to love you

But I'm no piñata
And I can cut myself down
Tired of feeling on display
Isolated in this foreign tree

Nothing left to do but leave
Your designated scape goat
Chased away with the light of harsh flames
Honesty is witchcraft to you

You gave your own magic away
When you stopped believing in yourself

A beautiful girl
Always looking to please
But what's outside doesn't mean a thing

You and I were one
We grew together
By pushing me
You've only been ripping your own seems

I cut myself free, remember?
While the wound is still fresh
I will go on and bond again
Friends, Family, new loving open strangers
This time, trust, love, and support
Will be deposited

While not a bad investment
This market had a crash
Instead of picking up the pieces together
You handed me the broom
I pray you find your happiness soon

Love yourself enough to know
To look inside of you

E.Poe
*Nov 2013
Elsbeth Poe Nov 2013
Understand me
Look into my blue green eyes
Though not the way to see my soul
I wear mine here on my sleeve

My honesty seems scary
They think it can't be true
I am made of forgiveness
Some think that's stupid to choose

Tire tracks cover my body
My very own scrapbook of tattoos
I won't pretend they aren't there
But scars need not run deeper than skin

Always crossing paths
What you say and do will live inside me forever
Best friend or stranger
A world of star-crossed brothers and sisters
Building and breaking bonds

You are so beautiful
I can see that in the colors that surround you
In the wrinkles around your eyes
In the way you squeeze my heart when you walk into the room

Thank you for being unafraid
You are real
You are true

E.Poe
*Nov. 2013
Elsbeth Poe Apr 2014
You seem confused
And in such seeming
Or seeming as such
You appear to touch
On sadness

Tickling melancholy
As you drown out
The overlapping, overwhelming thoughts
With deafening, hollow silence
The brittle backbone of that
Olympically-****-giving-less ego
Has snapped
The dam cracking
With forceful cascading
Imprisoned emotions
None other at the helm but fear

Write out what weights heavy on your heart
And calm this anxious, growing fervor
Combatting calamity as you stop to hear
Those countless rolling trains
That seek potential problems
And simplest solutions
As they echo through the caverns
Of your restless mind

You are the only one with access
To the encyclopedic truth inside
Help yourself to find
Where your discomfort swims
On those distracting tides
That when ignored
Become enraged
Engulfing from behind

E.Poe
April 2014
Elsbeth Poe Jan 2014
Stand up
Stand up for something
Anything
Sing out about the way
You want the world to be
Learn to listen
Learn to look for people
Desperately in need
Learn to love to read
Learn to love
Expand your mind and empathy
Be brave
Stand up and speak
With as much a voice inside
This your precious body
As Jesus, Budda, M.L.K.
Five foot five Mahatma Gandhi
"Be the change you wish to see.."
A world full of people
In much greater need
The things you say
And things you do
Can effect the world
Not just a few
Every person's
A link in the chain
Not thinking you matter
Causes disarray
Everyone has something to say
Especially sensing one's
Prone to feeling pain
If you don't speak up
And make a stand
It won't just go away
Beliefs don't make you better
Behavior makes that change
Speak for the weak
Not next week
Now
Do something
Feel proud
Not for you
But for the good you do
They'll try to shoot you down
Action scares those prone to shunning
Often those who surround
Are rut stuck, change haters
Trying to share their frown
They'll work to make you drown
Those efforts will abound
But anything that's worth the fight
Is not easily found

E.Poe
*January 2014

— The End —