To the tune of 'The Dreidl Song"
(Can't leave out my Jewish Friends)

Claymore, Claymore, Claymore
You’re made out of C-4
Claymore, Claymore, Claymore
I put you out once more

I put in place a Claymore
For our security
And when I squeeze the clacker
Ball bearings they will see

Oh, Claymore, Claymore, Claymore
You make a big kaboom
Claymore, Claymore, Claymore,
You send them to their doom.

On our little Claymore,
it says ‘Front Toward Enemy’
And when they pull the tripwire
Their Paradise they'll see!!

Oh, Claymore, Claymore, Claymore
You’re made out of C-4
Claymore, Claymore, Claymore
I put you out once more.

To the merry tune of
"Feliz Navidad"

Let’s bomb Talibans
Let’s bomb Talibans
Let’s bomb Talibans
and help to clean up
Afghanistan
I wanna call in a Spectre gunship
I wanna call in a Spectre gunship
I wanna call in a Spectre gunship
For some close
Air Support.
Let’s bomb Talibans
Let’s bomb Talibans
Let’s bomb Talibans
and help to clean up
Afghanistan
I wanna call in an Air Force J-DAM
I wanna call in an Air Force J-DAM
I wanna call in an Air Force J-DAM
to blow them to
Kingdom Come
Let’s bomb Talibans
Let’s bomb Talibans
Let’s bomb Talibans
and help to clean up
Afghanistan
I wanna call in a UH-60
I wanna call in a UH-60
I wanna call in a UH-60
to get us out of here.

Away on deployment
The dirt for a bed
A young 11 Bravo
Lays down his bald head
The birds in the sky
patrol where he lay
The young Airborne Ranger
survived one more day.
The bad guys are crawling,
they’re reaching the wire
But our Airborne Ranger,
he meets them with fire.
He detonates claymores,
He fires his M-4
The bad guys retreat,
They want it no more.
The Rangers pursue
and mow them down
They kick down doors
throughout the small town
Not one of the terrorists
greets the next day
The Airborne Rangers made them pay.

Donkeys bray, are you listening?
In the mountains, rocks are glistening,
A desolate sight, we're patrolling tonight
Dodging bullets in East Waziristan
Gone away, is Osama
Now we're stuck with Obama
And one MRE
Between you and me
Patrolling in frozen Waziristan
In the mountains we can drive our Humvees,
Watching out for hidden IEDs
Insurgents shoot and yell
'Allahu Akbar'
Until Spectre’s mini-guns are seen
Then we’ll watch, as she fires
and helps fulfill
martyrdom desires
What a beautiful sight, lighting the night
Miniguns in East Waziristan.

Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul
until the climate changed and then he raged
and became a real a-hole.
Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale they say
Because there is no snow, anywhere we go
Al Gore said it would be this way.
There must have been some carbon in those cars and trucks we saw,
Because we drove them all around, the snow began to thaw....
Ooooooo
Frosty the snowman was alive as he could be,
Wheezing here and there, melting everywhere,
Because of CFCs.
Thumpety, thump, thump
Thumpety, thump, thump
Look at Frosty moan
Thumpety, thump, thump
Thumpety, thump, thump
Because of the thin ozone!

(To The Tune of Winter Wonderland)
In the city there are people
In the country there are people
It's winter time
It's winter time
In December it is usually winter time.
In the desert, there are people
On an island, there are people
It's winter time
It's winter time
Unless you live in the Southern Hemisphere
We don't want to exclude Australians
From our inoffensive winter song
It's just that they're experiencing summer
And their days are
really, really, really long
La, la, laaaaa
La, la, la, laaaa
La, la, la,
La, la, la, laaaa
It's winter time
It's winter time
In December, it is usually winter time.

There are points in life
When we run out of
Tomorrows