Who Am I?

I’m the neighbor who helped your son when he fell off of his bike
I’m the guy in the grocery store who gave you a five when you were two dollars short
I’m the driver who let you go first at the four-way stop because I could see that you were in a hurry
I’m the passerby who helped you load your car at Costco
I’m the man who greeted you at church
I’m the fellow who held the elevator as you rushed to catch it
I’m the geek who helped you with your computer at Starbucks
I’m the one who mows your grandma’s lawn and weeds her garden – for free
I’m the citizen who picks up trash at the park
I’m the old guy from across the way who returned your lost dog
I’m the anonymous donor
I’m the coach who believes in every kid

And you hate me because of a hat?

Your eyes are weak
So you wander off
Your bones ache
So it hurts to move
You’ve lost your ripping teeth
So you chew in small bites
Your mighty voice
is now a feeble whimper

You are moments
Or days
from eternity

However…

Until you cross that threshold

I will guide you
I will feed you
I will protect you

I am your tribesman
I can do no other

You don’t need my help
You don’t want my help
But I’ll lie down over here
To keep the predators at bay
While you heal
or die

I search for you
in my dreams

I see the people,
The places,
and things
That surrounded us
But you are not there

It doesn’t stop me from
Running here and there
Looking frantically;
Hoping for a glimpse
Of you

I ask about you and they point to
An address that doesn’t exist
An empty hallway
An impenetrable crowd

Are they helping me
Or
Mocking me?

I press on

Because

Your perfume lingers,
so I know that you’re here
Somewhere

LA to Tel Aviv - 13 hours 45 minutes

Boarding: Why did I have to bring Avi’s Bar Mitzvah presents? It’s not fair.

Hour 1: I have no leg room and have to squeeze by two strangers to use the restroom. When will food be served?

Hour 2: What? No food, only a tiny bag of pretzels; mom the discount flyer strikes again.

Hour 3: Ok, settling in with my iPad. Rewatching “Stranger Things”

Hour 4: The lady next to me asked if I could watch something different. Apparently she finds “Stranger Things” disturbing.

Hour 5: The lady complained to the flight attendant. She found “Blackhawk Down” more disturbing than “Stranger Things”.

Hour 6: I get into the overhead bin and take out the bag of American candy that I was going to give to Avi. I’ll repackage what’s left into a Ziplock- he’ll be fine.

Hour 7: ***, WTH??? The woman dozed off and has the worst gas- I CAN’T BREATHE!!!

Hour 8: I motion to my sister to trade seats. She flips me off behind her iPad (so that Mom can’t see) and smiles.

Hour 9: Drink service, “Yes I’ll have a double ***** martini.”
“Sorry, you’re twelve.”

Hour 10: I take out a Sharpie and begin a game. I look up “Help Me” on my language app and write it in 26 languages in the in-flight magazine.

Hour 11: The pilot said that Turkey is below us. Are we still allies?

Hour 12: The bag of candy is nearly empty. I feel sick.

Hour 13: I spent the last 45 minutes apologizing to the lady for throwing up on her.

Hour 13:45: Finally here. Let the party begin.

I’m socially tolerable

Not rich enough
Not attractive enough
Not sporty enough
To be popular
But smart enough
And funny enough
And different enough
To be interesting

You can talk to me in class
You can say Hi to me in the hall
You can text me for homework answers
But you won’t eat lunch with me
You won’t walk with me
You aren’t my friend,
Really

But I pretend that you are
Just so that I can have one.

They say, “You’re young. You have plenty of time”

They say, “You’ve lived a long life. You should be happy with what you have”

Emptiness doesn’t care about age

Loneliness doesn’t respect a life well lived



They sit inside of us

Eating away at our happiness

Consuming our souls

Until there’s no reason

To go on