Your scent lingers long after you're gone
It reminds me of hate.
Of broken promises.
Broken people.
It's not your fault
it's not mine either
but still
it's hard to come to terms with the fact that no matter what I do
you still won't love me.

"Let me sleep"
I whisper into the dark
God knows I need it, dark circles
that no amount of makeup can conceal reside under my eyes
I can't sleep
Every time I close my eyes you're there
in the dark
It's not a bad feeling, seeing your face smiling at me
But it's a fake one
a false memory
a constant reminder
of everything I'll never have

I  haven't slept for days
but I don't feel tired

tears cascade from my eyes
but I don't feel sad

a sour taste rises in my throat
the force of it all rocks my body

as I throw up the memories that you burdened me with

I smile
but I don't feel happy

I kiss him
but I feel no love

the truth is
I haven't felt anything since you left

any body I touch or new memory I make seems lost in the thought

of what could have been
what could have been

if you had stayed
if I had been good enough

but you didn't
and I wasn't

so I lay on the tile floor
and I let go