Allow me to always be the one to take over all your problems,
Or, if I cannot solve all your problems,
Allow me to stand next to you and fight in an armored battle as well,
However, if I cannot follow you into battle,
Allow me to watch and support you from the sidelines,
But, if I cannot be there to watch from the sidelines,
Allow me to be the one that you call to exclaim,
How ecstatic you are that you made it through the battle and back where you belong,
Stronger, wiser and more aware of what you want than before.
   EMW.

I used to compare you to a hurricane,
I used to describe what we had as something like a giant, destructive ring,
With a calm, seemingly odd centre,
I used to tell people, that when things were good, and going strong,
That we were in the centre, we were in the eye, and we had nothing to worry about because we had found the calm in the storm,
I was told to not compare us to something that is notorious for being destructive,
Because I was told that we were in fact, the opposite of that,
I was told that you were not a hurricane, and you were not the centre of the storm,
Instead, you were pure calm, and pure safety, likened to summer nights and sunsets,
As I grew wiser, I likened us to a hurricane more and more,
As the months passed, and we trickled through the cracks more and more,
It became more apparent to me that, we were not a summer sunset,
We were a hurricane,
When things were good, we lived in the centre of the storm,
We had calm, and peace and we did not have to worry about the mass destruction going on around us,
However, like a hurricane, storms move quickly and safe havens in the centre change,
The only mode of survival to keep your place in the eye of the storm is to adapt,
To move quickly with the change and the direction of the storm,
So we tethered ourselves to each other, so that even if we were on opposite sides of the calm,
Too far to touch,
Too far to see,
We were still connected so that if the storm moved, we could move with it together,
The funny thing about hurricanes though, is that they move quickly,
And sometimes you do not always see them changing course and direction,
So in the midst of our perfectly calm centre, we were thrown off course, and thrown in opposite directions, our tether which was keeping us together, tangled and weakening,
In the midst of the storm, and our calm being thrown off you got scared because this was the worst it had ever been,
And our tether was so damaged, and so strained that it felt like we would always be too far to touch, and too far to see,
You took, action, you cut me off, severing our tether and suddenly, we were not in the safe place in the centre of the storm,
We were thrown in opposite directions, into the destructive, black swirling rings that we had avoided with such courage,

And so here I am, beat up, black and blue, trying to find my way back into the centre of the storm,
Silently praying that maybe you are too.

EMW.

When you left,
My heart turned cold,
It grew distressed,
I became frustrated
My best was not good enough,
So that made me feel worthless,
My love was not enough for you to stay,
So I ran from myself as well, as if I were a plague to everyone,
Even to myself.

When you left,
I let the world make me hard,
I stopped caring,
Let myself fall deeper and deeper into the cracks of despair each day,
But with each day to the people around me,
I got better and better.

When you left,
I swallowed my pride,
I tried so hard to pick myself up,
To not care with the same validity that you had,
I tried to stop thinking about you like you never seemed to think about me,

When you left,
The memories followed me even into subconsciousness,
So I stopped sleeping,
At least awake I had some control over what occurred in my mind,
When I was asleep, you could touch me, kiss me, trace my skin with your fingertips,
You could whisper in my ear, lips brushing gently against my skin,
I could hear your voice, triumphantly exclaim your love for me,
Proud of what it could survive and what we had passed.

When you left,
I felt the agony of someone giving up on me,
When the weeks passed, and you didn't say anything,
I felt the pain of you forgetting fill my veins,
When I realized what I would have done for you,
I became enraged with myself,
Pounding myself for being so stupid to be willing to do so much,
And realizing that I would still do it today,
For a person who couldn't fight just a little bit harder.

When you left,
I felt our world crumble,
Leaving behind dust and rubble,
Faint outlines of once majestic castles.

When you left,
I picked myself up,
You are the only person in this world that I love,
But, I feel so small and worthless,
I'm giving up on you.

And all of the sudden,
The world we had built,
Went  up in flames,
Crumbled to the ground,
And only existed to those searching for leftover pasts

E.W.M

It is four a.m, and you are sleeping next to me,
There is no sound except for you breathing deeply next to me,
Slowly in and out,

The light which creeps in from the window,
Illuminates your features,
Your long eyelashes are cast in shadows across your rosy cheekbones even longer than they actually are,

You mutter incoherent things,
Tossing and turning,
Turning yourself away from me,

I edge myself closer to every new position you fold yourself into,
Sometimes there is no room for me,
The folds of your sleeping body too rigid, too guarded for me to get close,
So, I sit on the outskirts watching you,
Desperate for you to fold my body into yours,

Other times, your sleeping body is perfectly folded,
To allow myself to fold my body into yours,
My body folds into the crevices and hollows of your body like they were put there for the sole intention of making me feel safe

In these rare moments at four a.m,
I fold myself into you,
I mold my body to yours,
I burrow deep into the crevices of you,

You mutter something again,
This time much more coherent,
My name,
And then your sleeping body subconsciously pulls me closer to you.

When you first met me, you told me that you were instantly intrigued,
"It was like a click,"
You said months later, pulling me closer to you like you would never let me go,
For a long time, I never understood what you meant by that,
However, I never questioned it,
Because we had each other, and we were knee deep in our fairytale.

Months later, we were savoring our rare and precious time with each other,
Lying side by side, on the damp cold grass of a football field,
The sky pitch black, except for little diamonds lighting up parts of the sky,
You looked at me, completely memorized by these small points of light,
"You love the stars, don't you Goof?"
You said, tracing my point of view with your eyes,
In my silence you found my answer,

To me, you see, stars were some mystery, beautiful points in the darkness,
Beacons of hope in a pitch black surface,
A safety place when all you see around you is darkness,

In that moment you took my hand, but instead of just holding it tight in yours,
You pointed our joined hands to the sky,
You revealed the most enchanting thing about you,
You picked out constellations in the night sky,
Telling me the stories of Cassiopeia, the Big Dipper, and the Little Dipper,
Soon, after months of you taking my hand, spinning me around and showing me these stars,
They became my constellations,
My Cassiopeia,
My small beacons of hope in the dark,

Only when things ended between us,
Did I finally understand what the click you felt when we met meant,
I didn't feel it in the beginning,
I didn't realize that the click was the beginning of our connection,
I didn't realize that the click was the beginning of our journey,
I didn't realize that the click was us falling for each other,

However, what I did realize,
Sitting alone, knowing my phone would never have your name on its screen again,
Was that even if you can't feel the click in the beginning,
You can sure as hell feel the pain of that click coming undone,
And all your small beacons of hope in the night sky,
Becoming beacons of unwanted memories surfacing every time the darkness crashes upon you.

-E.M.W