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Ellie Ellen Feb 2014
You don't get to come into my life,
make me love you,
and then leave when you decide i am better off
without you.
You don't get to make that choice.
My love, is deeper than the ocean.
But it will tear you apart if it is cornered.

- a.l
Ellie Ellen Feb 2014
You promised me the day that you left,
that you would talk to me.
It's been almost a week and i don't know
if you're still alive.
Because i'm here, and you're there,
and there is nothing in between.
You have left a space.
A void.
For endless hope
and possibilities of abandonment.

- a.l
Ellie Ellen Feb 2014
You told me that you loved me and i know i should be so happy to hear that.
But i can't help but feel that you said it to fill the void.
Because i can feel it, and i'm almost sure you can too.
There is something missing between us.
About us.
Something,
A void
An emptiness
Some sort of vacant space
And maybe you said it because you meant it
But i don't know yet.
Because i'm still trying to figure out what is needed to fill this emptiness between us.
And 'I love you' just doesn't seem to cut it.

- a.l
Ellie Ellen Feb 2014
His hand on my waist fit perfectly
i hadn't held his hand yet, so i'm yet to feel the connection
through out interlocked fingers and palms.
He's so sorry when he disappoints me,
and he has already given me so much power over him.
My friends think i'll hurt him.
He doesn't know,
I could rip him to pieces.

-a.l
Ellie Ellen Feb 2014
I am tired.
Tired of trying
there is nothing wrong with me.
None of these people actually help me.
I'm fine.
It's just them telling me there is something wrong
so they can get more of my mothers money.
I'm done with them all.
I'm leaving my psychiatrist.

- a.l
Ellie Ellen Feb 2014
Maybe i truly am okay now
maybe it was really all in my head
i've moved on. This i am sure of.
So therefore, what if that was my only problem
My only heartache was loving someone who couldn't love me back
because now i'm just living my life
the only way i know how.
Through doing what makes me happy.

-a.l
Ellie Ellen Feb 2014
My Mom told me that she wants me
to be happy like i used to be.
That i used to come bouncing out of my room
in the morning.
I asked, 'When?'
She replied 'About eighteen months ago'.
I laughed when i realised,
she didn't know me at all.

- a.l
Ellie Ellen Feb 2014
The world is not perfect
but what makes it beautiful is that it tries
in the way the flowers bloom in the spring
and the snow falls in the winter
the earth tries
for us.
To make things a little easier
to assure us that it is the one thing,
that will never leave.
Because each year it promises us the same things;
no matter what happens to you,
the flowers will always bloom next spring.

- a.l
Ellie Ellen Feb 2014
Maybe i have told myself enough times that i do not love him anymore.
Maybe i have convinced myself i have nothing left.
I feel like i have nothing left for him.
No more love, or hate, or empathy.
But there is still something there because
I can feel it in my ribs when she tells me about
the things he does with his eyes.
Whatever it is, i can feel it ripping me apart
from the inside out.

-a.l

— The End —