My Mom told me that she wants me
to be happy like i used to be.
That i used to come bouncing out of my room
in the morning.
I asked, 'When?'
She replied 'About eighteen months ago'.
I laughed when i realised,
she didn't know me at all.

- a.l

You told me that you loved me and i know i should be so happy to hear that.
But i can't help but feel that you said it to fill the void.
Because i can feel it, and i'm almost sure you can too.
There is something missing between us.
About us.
Something,
A void
An emptiness
Some sort of vacant space
And maybe you said it because you meant it
But i don't know yet.
Because i'm still trying to figure out what is needed to fill this emptiness between us.
And 'I love you' just doesn't seem to cut it.

- a.l

I am tired.
Tired of trying
there is nothing wrong with me.
None of these people actually help me.
I'm fine.
It's just them telling me there is something wrong
so they can get more of my mothers money.
I'm done with them all.
I'm leaving my psychiatrist.

- a.l

You promised me the day that you left,
that you would talk to me.
It's been almost a week and i don't know
if you're still alive.
Because i'm here, and you're there,
and there is nothing in between.
You have left a space.
A void.
For endless hope
and possibilities of abandonment.

- a.l