I don't know how pain turned into beauty
Or how loving someone half dead on  their bathroom floor is real

Maybe we were just trying to remember what it felt like to be whole.
So we made broken out to be the new fad. If everyone has scars on their arms and legs and  hearts, then maybe it's okay.

I live in a straight jacket of people
just like me
And we breathe the same air
and writhe against the same walls
keeping us locked and unmoving and scared.

all looking for the definition of life
and medication to numb the symptoms
because the pain is to great to fix

But what happened to our eyes?
and good god, the relief in reassurance
no one sees the person writhing against the
wall that they are
No one sees the person suffocating in the same air
that they are

There is so much weakness in feeling alone
and we're only dying because we're blind

Because we're all writhing against the same walls
just open your eyes and maybe your hands

"Love like your father"
So I'll love as strong as his wrists
And as sweet as his wink
And as long as his hair

I'll love as tender as his smile
And as melodious as his laugh
And as diligent as his discipline

I'll love as smart as his opinions
And as loud as his whistle
But still as imperfect as his bent fingers

I'll love as open as his front door
And as giving as his hands
And as keen as his judgement

I'll love like he loved LSU
And fried chicken
I'll love like he loved his tractor
And watching birds

I'll love how he loved my mother  
And Jesus
I'll love like he loved the ones he didn't like
And those who didn't deserve it

I'll love because my father loved
He taught me to love by loving me

"Love like your father"
And so I'll love like my father does

there's a hollow tree
where my heart should be
growing and growing and growing

the bigger the plant
the bigger the pain
the bigger the hole to fill

and eventually, without much notice
inside my soul
grows a rabbit hole
much like in Alice's tails

the bigger the plant
the bigger the pain
the bigger the hole to fill

"I've got to go inside, its smoldering out here"

and you looked at me as if it were an obvious invitation to come
almost looking confused as to why I would even hesitate

we walked inside and went to the back room.
there were a circle of people there; the kind I would expect you to fall into naturally
on account of your beauty and wit.

but you walked past them and sat in a corner, with enough room for me to sit between you and the wall.
with less hesitation now, I sat

your legs were laying out straight facing me and your back against the wall
my legs were laying out straight facing you, and I was leaning on my elbows

you initiated conversation because you're eloquent on the spot
I listened mostly because i'm not

I noticed a while through how well we were together. just talking to one another.

eventually, it got quiet and you pushed your back from the wall to lie flat on the floor
I put my elbows down and did the same.
as you scooted closer, our hips touched

"aren't you glad we're connected now"
i smiled

*I've got no clue what you meant by that
But I know that I was ecstatic to lie there with my hip touching yours