I feel trapped by my own thoughts
Unable to express the pain my heart feels
In any other ways beyond anger and tears
I once thought of myself as strong
Until I opened my eyes and realized
It was the heavy shell I carry that
Is strong not I
Even with the realization
I climb deeper into my shell
Scared of what I’ve been hiding from
As if breaking free
Only mean the world I’ve built
Will enviably come crashing down
Like a skyscraper built on uneven ground
Just swaying with the wind
Till one too many birds
Decide to perch on top
Of the seemly sturdy structure

Depression
Is a like a thin thread
Delicately sown though
Each thought that passes
You begin to feel as
If your mind has been thrown
At an incredible speed
Straight into a black hole
Far beyond the reaches
Of any humans imagination
You wonder if there's
A miracle somewhere
Waiting with your name in graved
On the side
Just to surprise
You at the end of that
Deep darkness

My heart beat begins to quicken
The unbearably loud thuds
Seem to be surrounding me
As the darkness inside me
Grabs ahold of my heart
Pulling me farther back inside
To a place that after all these years
Has become a sort of safe haven
My own world filled with false happiness
Where my only sense of direction
Comes from lies I feed myself
When no one else could see through the mask
I had not only perfected but mastered
I pray that I am not too far gone
That the girl I’ve caged inside me is still alive
That I have not yet suffocated her beyond resurrection
But does god listen to the prayers
Of the ones that defy him without a second thought
The ones that can’t fully grasp his will
Enough to give themselves with no question
I yearn for the feeling of being whole
That they claim he will bring