My heart beat begins to quicken
The unbearably loud thuds
Seem to be surrounding me
As the darkness inside me
Grabs ahold of my heart
Pulling me farther back inside
To a place that after all these years
Has become a sort of safe haven
My own world filled with false happiness
Where my only sense of direction
Comes from lies I feed myself
When no one else could see through the mask
I had not only perfected but mastered
I pray that I am not too far gone
That the girl I’ve caged inside me is still alive
That I have not yet suffocated her beyond resurrection
But does god listen to the prayers
Of the ones that defy him without a second thought
The ones that can’t fully grasp his will
Enough to give themselves with no question
I yearn for the feeling of being whole
That they claim he will bring

I feel trapped by my own thoughts
Unable to express the pain my heart feels
In any other ways beyond anger and tears
I once thought of myself as strong
Until I opened my eyes and realized
It was the heavy shell I carry that
Is strong not I
Even with the realization
I climb deeper into my shell
Scared of what I’ve been hiding from
As if breaking free
Only mean the world I’ve built
Will enviably come crashing down
Like a skyscraper built on uneven ground
Just swaying with the wind
Till one too many birds
Decide to perch on top
Of the seemly sturdy structure

Depression
Is a like a thin thread
Delicately sown though
Each thought that passes
You begin to feel as
If your mind has been thrown
At an incredible speed
Straight into a black hole
Far beyond the reaches
Of any humans imagination
You wonder if there's
A miracle somewhere
Waiting with your name in graved
On the side
Just to surprise
You at the end of that
Deep darkness