Dear Body,

I reclaim our radiance!

You are a vessel,

We are a vessel.

We bring life, joy, healing, and light.

I love you.

I love us.

I trust you.

I trust us.

You are safe.

We are safe.

I feel safe.

I reclaim this feeling of safety.

For you.

For us.

For me.

I felt that feeling in my heart
When I left you at the bus stop
That sadness that occurs
When I don’t know when I’ll see you next
It hurts a bit
It feels unsure
It grasps for you
Where you were before
It’s time to leave
I look out the window
See you standing there
Tears well in my eyes
Emotion shows on my face
I hug myself
As it passes
I smile at the memories we made
Resting now
The journey begins
In the future
We’ll meet again

I felt like my heart was breaking
When I thought about you

It’s an odd feeling
Since you’re my dad

But there were the tell-tale signs

It’s a nostalgic feeling
Combined with a sadness
And a despairing emotional turn

It’s sad really
Terrifying in some ways
To think that I’m not loved

It isn’t true though

He loves me
He cares about me

I don’t think he likes me though
At least not the majority of the time

He thinks I don’t listen
That I’m ungrateful

I think he’s wrong
That he doesn’t hear me

I’ve been living here
In this environment
For a long time

I feel unwelcome by him

Yes
My heart truly breaks for us
For him

I care deeply for my father
I love my father
Yet
I don’t know how to express this
While maintaining my authentic self expression

Some days I give up
Hole away in my treehouse room
Lay in bed or distract myself

Other days I try
I speak and smile
I still go up to my treehouse room
It’s my space

I wonder if it will ever change
If our relationship will improve

I hope so
I hope our hearts mend
Our wounds heal
Our emotions open
And we spread joy and contentment
Just as the sun setting and rising spreads beauty and hope

I feel like a lost girl
Scared, alone, sad, lonely
I am lonely
I am scared
I am sad
I isolate
I feel raw inside
My heart hurts
I am lost
Very lost
I don’t reach out
I hardly respond
Because I don’t know what
  to say
I don’t really want to talk
I want to be held
Held for an eternity
I have been crying
I will keep crying
Although my words are
  scarce on my tongue
My pen leaves them open
  to read
Hold me
See me
Let me be me
For I am lost
A lost girl
For now that is me
My tears speak louder
  than my words ever could