There was a way of the flip in her hair, with liquidity and lethargy,
That brought young men to their knees.
She walked with such lust that their hearts reached with open mouths.
They gasped in an effort to
Just for one moment
Breath the same way and in the same space.

In the light her skin shone like platinum in heaven above.
She magnetized the very molecules she made contact with, and the air bent around her like hot syrup.
Time slowed for her only,
Or perhaps she controlled time.
Every man's ring finger felt lost in a void of blackness. The small golden hoop was pocketed,
Play time for the masses.
If only for a second they may earn her attention, that second would become life itself
That second may end sickness, hunger, and poverty.
There was never a time of deeper betrayal when she came to town


And while the men swooned, the women cried, for
They could never achieve the beauty to be loved.
And the tears twinkled a deep blue,
As if stolen from the ocean directly.
There was never a time of deeper sadness than when she came to town.

There are the days that love swells and grows infinitely around me.
It will pick me up and throw me over its shoulder in bliss and sing me to sleep with harmonics so angelic my tears themselves begin to cry.
There are the days when love will never be proven wrong, when nothing matters but love.

         And then there is today.

I know this is right.

I know that soon, you will run again, pant with excitement, and retrieve hundreds of tennis ***** with your comrades.

I know, inside, I'm ready. I understand it's time, I can see it in your eyes. They are weary with age and eternal fatigue.

I know that I don't want to watch the days go by as you progress, progress, and suffer. I know you will thank us for the burden we will relieve.

I know that I'll miss you. I know that all I remember is with you, and all you remember is with me. But I know those memories will carry on, and not pass as you will.



But I still don't want it to happen

I wish dreams did not exist


The only place I could ever hope to escape you is the subconscious, and yet I can't.
I see you coming before I even recognize you.
You are a face not easily forgotten, yet you might not even look the same.
I can still smell your hatred from your rotten, putrified soul, decaying inside that marble sculpted coating.
The smallest memory, the quickest glimpse is a trigger enough to haunt me all night.
The vicious cycle continues, as dreams remind me more of your absence, and that remembrance catalysts more dreams.
I think that to be the reason you've never left me yet.
How selfish you are, to never let me go, to even grip tighter than before,
Like you want to **** me dry of all that is my own,
And leave me with nothing but an outer shell - all of the things inside that matter stolen under the worst intentions.

And the saddest part?
Whether it's through seduction or shear abuse, you will always shatter my heart in the end.
Kissing, touching,
Screaming, torturing. They feel no different now.
I never save myself,
Perhaps I'm waiting for that story book ending I never received.
Perhaps I just don't know how to not let you hurt me.
Most likely, it's both.


I wish that dreams wouldn't exist,
Because if they didn't,
Then you might not either