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Aug 2015 · 1.6k
The bird that flew away
Elizabeth mbugua Aug 2015
The bird that flew away

This is me, this is my story
I met this bird and loved it
I took it all out, took out all the love,
Well, I dint die for it but I gave it my life,
I gave it everything; from body to mind and heart and soul
I dint remember to leave me some of me,
To leave a little love that would shed in me some light
In moments of darkness


I forgot, wait, I did not forget, I knew,
I was told, I read about it, had seen it before
May be even experienced it; the fact that nothing lasts
Forever!

Call me blind cause I couldn’t see,
Deaf, cause all warnings fell on a deaf ear
Lame cause I couldn’t walk away when all the signs were showing,
Worst student cause I couldn’t learn from my past mistakes,
But judge not cause I thought I was wise and brilliant  
everymistake,I tried to rectify,
at times, its mistakes

I broke them all; boundaries and principles
I fell naked, stripped off my guards
That is why when we broke apart, I crushed!
Nothing from the inside inspired me to get back up,
Everything became angry, with, at, me
From my heart, to soul, to mind and body,
Just because I did not preserve a piece of each for such alone times

Now it’s hard, everything is hard,
Nothing in me wants to venture in new places
well, I don’t blame them for they’ve been shuttered
piece by piece and left for death
on the heart and soul so dark a paint has been spread
with colors of sadness and pain and sorrow, name them all

The mind is also tired, tired of me taking it back
to moments it doesn’t want to recall,
I’ve forced it to be hopeful, leading it to roads not travelled,
Times it comes back smiling and I hear it say,as it retires to sleep,
there is where I wanna live,
in a place where all I can think of is happy endings,
that place where I don’t have to analyse letters,
single letters, trying to give a meaning to each
The eyes too wanna sleep, they want to close and not stay wide open
Cause they are flooded with tears,
they want to see and appreciate all the beauty the world has
They stay wide awake at night
Staring into the dark, not because they have a choice but rather
they don’t want to close in to the darkness inside,
They prefer the one on the outside because it looks brighter

My hands too are tired, they ought to invite by embrace
but not push any bird trying to get close;
they are tired because they’ve pushed enough of them away
all because they have been made to believe that
the bird that flew away will find its way back to their warmth

All of me is tired, tired of always going back to the past
Clinging on to it and not living in the present
Cause am too busy reminiscing about the past
Tired of forcing out those who try to get in my life
All in fear that at some point they will leave,
That they will not look back like the first bird did
Tired of thinking that there is no bird out there
That doesn’t neglect its own nest,
When, say, the trees are cut down,
Not one comes back to collect the blades of grass it used to make the nest
And build with them better nests in a different place.

I’ve pushed so many and I dint realize it
till this one, it was exquisitely dark and a bit build
with a honeyed voice, which drew me to it,
and it seems it is the only thing I am left to keep
I hear it from the back of my head and
Every single day when it airs those rootsie songs
Oh yes! Those rootsie songs it knows best how to
It was coming in second, maybe best
But my wrecked being couldn’t just wait to find out,
And all it is now is a lesson
I watched it fly,  I let this one fly away
Not nice, not nice at all

But to its end is a promise to thyself
I wont let another fly away
Mar 2015 · 324
*.........*
Elizabeth mbugua Mar 2015
You found me torn and mended the pieces back together
On your knees that night you held your hands high and prayed to the
Heavens for my forgiveness and I slowly felt Gods grace and mercy fill my heart

With the same hands you moulded me into a better being
Change was gradual but you held my hands and guided me through
the slow but sure steps

Suddenly the grip felt loose but I still held on tight
For I knew letting go meant destroying the new me
You warmly tendered through infancy to maturity

My inner forte grew weaker with each passing second
And I slowly let go, well, that dint hurt as much as it did
When I saw you leave and slowly disappear out of my sight

Held captive by pain my soul slowly crawled back to its hiding place
My friends said its just a matter of time, that time heals all wounds
and all I needed was to let it work its magic

But I now to choose to let go; to set you free
Not because it is the right thing to do
But because it is the bravest way to love

I figured it is the only thing that will hold me together
For am shredded into two, or
May be more pieces……..
Notes (optional)

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