To find, to keep the one you love
Is not an easy feat, you see.
Tis difficult to locate one
Particularly suited to thee

For though thy love be pure and true
And supposed to last you all your days
Time often shapes a different plan
Forcing lovers to part in ways

Like leaves tossed in the winter wind
So will your heart pieces fly
Revisiting the bitter, barren past
Each touch, each kiss, each sigh

Until the wind doth settle down
And the frost rebuilds what was destroyed
Until thine heart is whole again
Ice filling in each crack and void

So frozen in this time is place
You’ll find your hardened self to be
You’ll miss the coming spring
And ignore each heart stretched out to thee

To find, to keep the one you love
Is not as easy feat, you see.
Tis difficult to give a broken gift
To one who means so much to thee.

For years
I was afraid to play the fool
So I built up walls
Ten miles high
And from this view
I saw that I
Had only played myself

Once there was a little boy
With dreams that touched the sky
He was the darling first born son
Apple of his mother's eye
He was polite and kind to all
Regardless of their age
But never took kindly to those
Who would put his mind into a cage
So while his mother loved him so
He only made his father frown
And over the years his heart was crushed
By the man who only put him down
Approval is a funny thing;
It changes someone's life
In bulk it makes receivers shine,
In absence kills the heart with strife
So the little boy just ran away
Find love in other ways
And ending up more broken
Limping through each God-forsaken day
He wasted quite a bit of time
Feeling sorry for himself
Until finally he grew up some
And put old feelings on the shelf
"It's time to relocate," he thought
"Time to make a name for me."
It was time to take control of his life
Decide his own destiny
Then some girl came waltzing in,
Botching his newfound plan,
Eyes a portal to a lovely soul
And blemishless heart outstretched in hand.
This couldn't happen, not again
He wouldn't change his mind
This boy had places to go and be
And love was just not worth the time
So he packed up all his things again
His "life" a sentimental might say
And with out even a goodbye
Ran like hell the other way.

There is nothing so obnoxious as a memory
Persistent and begging for constant attention
Poking its head out of every corner
Shouting out to wake a sleeper
Leering at a pleasant dream
Interrupting thoughtless meditation

Memories are like silent broken records
Playing the same song
Over- over- over- over-
Scratching every unchangeable mistake
Catching every imperfect moment
Reminding of a better time
Just to replay the bitterness
It is a cyclical, perniciousness;
Round and round the record goes
Playing the same train wreck
Reminding the sunken listener that it’s

       Over- over- over- over-

We sit beneath the mango tree
You say, “I’ve got to go one day, you see…”
I nod and smile for that’s far away…
And I know deep down you really want to stay
So we talk and learn about our lives
Blaze right past all the normal lies
I say, “I think I’m gonna miss you some…”
You laugh and say, “God, you’re young.”
If I’d known then how this was going to go
There were more things I would have let you know
Like that time we sat under the mango tree
And my heart stopped when you first kissed me...

While you were packing up your little home
I was sitting, waiting by the phone
Wondering where I’d gone so wrong
Wishing your determinations weren’t so strong…
The weeks crawl by and you don’t call
I take the frustration out on my bedroom wall
We both knew that this had to end
But for that short time it was awfully nice to pretend
So we meet under the mango tree
I stare at you, and you stare back at me
You say, “You knew I had to go one day.”
I mutter back, “Then I guess there’s nothing more to say.”

Then like a tragedy I left you there
Unable to hold your penetrating stare
There were more things that we both should’ve said
But it seems we took the easy road instead
The road whose paths would never have to cross
So we’d never have to think about what we have lost
But sometimes I still pass that mango tree
And remember how you used to look at me,
Smile about those shining, sapphire eyes,
Marvel at the tree’s growing size,
Laugh about the brief time we shared
And pack away the memories with care

My thoughts sometimes travel back
To that cool, midsummer’s night
Under that diamond canopy
Two souls as one took flight

I have a map of you inside
This fictive mind of mine
And remember most of all, your peak,
The one mountain I chose to climb

You beat around the bush a bit
Before discovering my secret place
A garden, flowering under rain,
Whose fruit you had a taste

The sky explodes as fireworks
The earth begins to shake
And a volcano somewhere inside of us
Roars loudly, wide awake

But the tragedy about a climb
Is that you have to go back down
But all the way we’ll smile
And laugh about what we have found

So as the years go bye
And I survey that diamond canopy
I hope that you look up too,
And are reminded of me

So you're sitting in your little corner
Trying to show the world
Without saying a **** thing
Ready to be famous, respected, intellectual
But wholly unwilling to be vulnerable
To lay your soul out, naked
Bare, covered only by black ink
The mirror of all your thoughts

So you're sitting in your little corner
Angry,
Upset because no one tries to love you
But you don't even love you
Because love doesn't last
Doesn't exist
So if love doesn't exist, pure and beautiful,
Then neither can purity or beauty
It's all vanity

So you're sitting in your little corner
So afraid to feel anything at all,
Though the tears pool and never fall,
Hard years bottled and stored
Waiting to be unleashed
An ocean of misery
Won't someone make the voyage?

I'm drowning in a world of self-pity
Save me.