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Life is a puzzle;
you are trying to find all the pieces to it.
It seems like there is always just one missing,
or one does not fit.

You go on a journey
and go through trials and tribulations
searching for something
you feel you will never find.

You go on discovering things;
things that push you forward
and things that hold you back.

Sometimes you smile,
sometimes you want to give up.
But something keeps you going
because you crave the need for peace.

You look outside the box of the puzzle
and see that the piece you were looking for
was right next to you
and you let it slip away.

YOu find this piece of the puzzle
is soaked in water
from the glass you spilled
and it can never be replaced.

Unless,

You buy the puzzle again
and start over.
Another journey;
but it's possible.

Take it slow this time
and handle the pieces of your life
with care.

Everyone deserves another chance;
including you.
Proceed with caution though,
because third chances are rare.
In a world full of chaos and corruption,
I stand here and look into your eyes;
And I see sadness, hatred and black.
I can't look anymore, so I embrace you.

You push me away like I have a disease
and then slap my face to punish me.
I can't understand why you are so cruel to me.
But I let you go, to please you, because I love you.

I ask you to teach me how to love you.
You tell me I will never be good enough for you.
You make me feel worthless and insecure,
but I stay because I want you to fix the way I am.

Years pass and I am still unworthy to you.
But then I realize that it is not me that is wrong....it is YOU.
You do not love me; you are the one using ME.
I need to get out before you do more damage to me.

You would not let me leave; I found out why.
I was the one holding you up; without me, you are NOTHING.
You kept me down so you could prosper.
How could you do this to me? How did I let you?

This is my lesson learned,
and I will not let you damage me anymore.
God has other plans for me, to be with someone better.
He will be everything a woman would want.
NOTHING like you.

But,

I thank YOU.....for the lesson learned.
I wrote this poem back in college when I was with the man who built me up, but then teared me down to shreds. It highlights how my feelings started to change as I realized I was being beaten down.  Since then it is a reminder of what I dealt with and have overcome. This man developed my insecurities and self image issues. He made me feel like I did nothing right and controlled my every move. Even TODAY, I still am recovering from this.
I fell for it again;
the sweet words and perfect smile.
It was no time at all,
that for you, I was going the extra mile.

I thought I had found the one
that would heal and wash away my past;
and even with early bumps in the road,
I thought surely we would last.

Instead, things started becoming controlled.
My drinking, how long I was out, even ***.
Although you thought you were being supportive and mindful,
You were just making things frustrating and complex.

You know, you have your own set of problems,
why don't you work on fixing those first!
Get your own **** together,
before you come at me sounding so well versed.

I don't want to be with someone who
scolds, punishes or threatens me like a dad.
Instead, encourage that I will get though it
and then give me the most amazing *** I've ever had.

If this isn't enough, you made me realize something;
that I am still in love with my ex
yes, we had our problems and tribulations
but I remember why he is different from you, and the rest.

He didn't like some of the things I did
but never tried to control my life
He was encouraging and patient
And never did anything out of spite.

I have learned over the years that
we cannot change a person's lifestyle.
But as a person changes themselves,
we can remind them why it will all be worthwhile.

If you can't understand what I am saying
we are not as great for each other as it seemed.
You want to fix me by controlling me,
You just are not the man I dreamed.
My paradise is a field of sunflowers,
surrounding me as the sun shines it's rays on me.
My paradise is the non-exsistance of starving, abused, and neglected animals.
My paradise is the focus of equality in every aspect of life;
marriage, ***, race, politics, the rich, the poor. EVERYTHING.
My paradise is the end of ****** and ****,
suicide and stealing.
My paradise is the death of depression, illness,
addictions, and loneliness.
My paradise is the elimination of judgement,
of bullying, of disrespect.

My paradise is so out of reach. It does not have to be, but it is.  This paradise will stay in my dreams, I fear, until my departure from this earth.
For the longest time, I did not see
what people really saw of me.
My parents I know taught me right;
never to discriminate, interrogate, or pick a fight.


I was told to love my neighbor as myself
and take good care of my health.
I never thought I would hear someone say
What are you? You are not one of us...GO AWAY!

In school, I'm not accepted by any race.
Because I don't have the same color face.
This isn't what my parents taught,
an explanation is what I sought.

To this day, I still don't know
why people continue to sink so low.
And if they don't make the effort to change,
their heart will forever be caged.

For the longest time I did not see,
What people really saw of me.
My parents I know....taught me right
Never to discriminate, interrogate, or pick a fight.

So if you don't like me because of the color of my skin,
watch out, because hating is a sin.
And instead of worrying, I will remember the lessons I've learned,
and see that RESPECT IS WHAT I'VE EARNED.
Time can free us from the hurt.

It can make us feel free.

Time can give us hope and comfort.

It can be the key.




Time can numb your feelings,

until eventually you feel no more;

it makes you forget---leaving only memories;

takes away the baggage you once wore.




Time sometimes needs your help,

to opening your heart up to healing.

It needs your optimism and strength.

This makes the negative layers start peeling.




If you start to trust over time,

things will begin to shift.

See, you have to open your heart again,

realizing time is a gift.

— The End —