Elise

Elise Jul 2013

March 30th 2012

Our first date was spent looking at the sky and comparing the scars on our hearts.
I think I fell in love with the way your eyes lit up when looking at the clouds.
I ended up putting my secrets in the cracks of your skin, you put yours in the bottom of my lungs
And I was still surprised when I ended up not being able to breathe without you

Elise Jun 2013

thoughts

I seem to think that if I start to wear a hole in the carpet I’ll have cleared my head but it always seems like I just end up with blisters on my feet and more holes in my chest than in the ground. And it’s hard because I feel like I am forcing myself to get over something that one does not simply get over in one night for someone who I should have given the time of day to years ago. It would have made my life much simpler but yet here I am stuck walking back and forth with nothing in my hands or my heart that makes any sense to me at all. I feel mostly empty and the walls are starting to look kind of sad and maybe if I scream loud enough the echoes will be the glue that keeps my mask together because ****** I’m trying my best to be strong. And I’m caught in a web of who knows what just hoping that I can see straight long enough to make the right decisions and who knows if my vision is even correct. I might need glasses, soul glasses. Clarity is something I struggle with and unfortantely no amount of back and forth is going to help me in any way but I would like to think it does. The path on the carpet is softer than the rest and maybe because of that I think about how this path is making my life feel more soft on my feet also. The blisters are just here to remind me that takes work. But I don’t want to work I wish everything turned out the way I thought it would a couple months ago, but life is never that simple. I did realize that I loved you for the way we interacted while both being ourselves and although I can do that with a lot of people with you it was different and the connection we had I will never get back with anyone. My music teacher told me that you never really get over anyone and I am starting to think that is true but how can I move on if this isn’t ever over?
I want to wait for you but everyone and everything is telling me I shouldn’t
I almost fell to the ground when I saw you yesterday
Love is tearing me apart

Elise May 2013

Phoenix

these tears
taste like
house fire
because you were once
my
Home

They say with each end comes a beginning

Elise May 2013

Untitled

I never do not have a name for a poem
but this one seems as though no word can accurately capture
the essence of a being
that has lived with me for 16 years
yet does not attempt
to enter my life

and

You tell me
I should be treated better
but
this is all I've ever known

heres looking at you, dad

Elise Apr 2013

Tiny Rhythms

These days we seem to get advice from everywhere but you've probably never heard the part about how you should definitely find someone who thinks in metaphors.
Maybe you've never heard of the advice to find someone who's hands whisper way more than their mouths ever will
Find someone who doesn't just move your heart but moves your whole rib cage so that your facing in the direction of the sun
Find someone who knows that your soul isn't actually in your chest but is in your feet leading you down your path
A person that can tell you exactly what light SOUNDS like and knows that the darkness is more blinding than the day
Find someone whose eyes speak with a sound deeper than all oceans
and I bet you've never heard how you should find someone who thinks the sky is purple and the grass is blue just because you need to look at the world differently sometimes.
Someone who tells your stories with words that spill out of their eyes because those are the ones that count
let them match your tiny rhythms
let them kiss all the cracks in your skin
as they fall in step beside you
Fall in love with someone who thinks in metaphors
They'll understand

maybe i'll do this for english
or maybe not

Elise Apr 2013

The Quiet Places

Sometimes I wonder what love is

Is love a hand to hold
A voice you long to hear
The silence in the darkness of a mind
Movements of a heart

But I think I know what love really is

The electricity made between two people
Bursting into light

Elise Apr 2013

Echoes Of Night

There should be a special place in hell for mothers who don’t love, respect, and support their sons
I know things won’t always be perfect but the least you can do is care
I hope someday within those loud, echoing words of disappointment, those angry cries of doubt - over the next thing you think he has failed you for - leaving him to put his head in his hands wondering if he’s good enough for you, that you see the words hidden in his face, etched upon his skin
“I’m doing this for you mom”
Because what am I supposed to say as he lays his head on my shoulder with tears in his eyes saying to me “I don’t want to go home anymore”
When he thinks that you don’t love him because all you end up showing is hate
Am I supposed to say that's okay?
This is the son who said all he was worth was a marine uniform and a way to die just to make. you. proud.
Anger is no answer and if your boiling point is 212 degrees you’ll go 213 just to prove your hatred
You know you could break his heart with a pinprick yet you still go so far
And all I can do is hope next time you raise your hand against him you see in his eyes the words he’s tried over and over again to scream to you

“I’m just doing this for you mom”

This is a slam poem I did for class
I almost started crying half way through
Its so hard watching the one you love suffer