i sigh and bite my lip
i can't hear Your words anymore
all i can hear is the sound of tears
rushing to my eyes, ready to pour
and an indistinct hum i recognize
as Your voice
usually poetry to me
instead just puts a lump in my throat
and leaves my chest hollow.
i search the ground for my composure
but find only an insincere smile
i'm just hoping that You can't tell
that my heart just shattered like cheap glass on tile.
why'd i have to notice Your smile?

incandescent
ethereal
****
onomatopoeia
antidisestablishmentarian­ism
ablaze
******
chaos
empirical

i haven't written
a haiku since i was young
what a tragedy

the beauty of nature is lost on a piece of millennial **** like me
what's a tree?
who knew the air outside could be breathable.
I'm utterly lost without the artificial glow of my iPhone.
if I don't know who is eating Chipotle at any given moment
I will lose my mind.
what do you mean you "played outside" and "talked to each other" before the internet?
I call *******.

Boyfriend*
the word hits me like a truck
full of **** i was ready to tell You
and the fuzz that's clogging my lungs and heart and eyes.
i smile
i have to
Your joys are mine
You're happy so i am.
i reach down my throat and shove down the lump
it crushes the delicate butterflies in my stomach
they never stood a chance anyway
of course this was inevitable
look at You. You're amazing.
i am looking at You
with longing and admiration
but hopefully not the terrible grief i feel
what's the point anyway.
why risk it.
i am happy
You are so i am.
i pick up the pieces of my heart
being careful to avoid the mulch
we don't want splinters of course
the swings are wet
but maybe i could launch myself into another reality where i'm good enough if i swing harder, higher, faster, better.
now, i'm alone
just thinking.
so are You but not of me.
but i'm happy
You are so i am.