Distance was never the matter.
A block away or a planet away,
You were mine.
And nothing in the world could negate that.

Stability was never the matter.
When everything changed, I stayed the same.
Constant and reliable. Always there.
I loved you like nothing else and I lived to protect you.

Reliability was never the matter.
I was there.
Though the painful early mornings and the long late nights.
Through the lonely days, I was the only soul to write.

Security was never the matter.
You were so special and for that, I was willing to do anything.
Your best interest, my main focus.
You over me any day.

I was never the matter.

The cold world tried to engulf you in it's frigid currents.
But I kept you safe and warm.

So how did the frostbite reach your precious heart?
I try everyday now to thaw it with my heavy love,
To melt the icy patches with the passion deep inside me,
To bring you back to your sweet and gentle ways.
But the rapid rate of freezing is too much for my broken spirit.

You, my love, my heart, my best friend, companion...my future. You are the matter.

Soon you'll realize the way I love you.
You'll never have it this way again.
You'll realize how much you took from me and how broken I am as a result.
When all I needed was reciprocity.

Stripped of my glory,
I'm wounded and sorry.
For there in my heart lies the deepest of quarries.

The stone being my pride,
My sole sensation of joy.
My insides are empty, my efforts void.                             
           
I want to taste the lead.
I want to kiss the sky.
I want to see the nothing.
I want to feel the dry
cold depths and dark hollows where my being shall no longer be...
Where my feelings shall no longer feel, where my saddened eyes shall no longer see.
                                
But still I live a live life.
I bleed this bright red blood and gaze into a clear starry sky. I laugh when I am well, and when I am not, I cry.
As humans do.

The purpose.
The goal.
The reason to be.
It is clear nor is it evident.
But it is there. And for a reason.
I am loved. You are loved. We are loved.
We all love.
This we must not forget.
Remember the drive.
Don't quit.
Remember the drive.

You're not worthless.
But your actions exude it, worthlessness...
For anyone that could take the gentle, pristine heart, and make it spew purple-black hazes of vengeance, betrayal and loss is unworthy, unhappy, hateful and unwise.
But he still is not worthless.
I am finer, I am greater, I am better.
For you I will not lose my worth.
I have forgiven every last of your evils.
You violated me. You embarrassed me. You used me. You scared me.
And because of the many you's, I am learning my worth.
Hopefully someday you'll learn too.
That even you, with your heartless, lying, deceiving and scheming low self esteem, you o lost and ignorant soul, you are not worthless.