Elle Frazier

Elle Frazier Jul 2017

Heavy thoughts,
Weigh my mind.
Heavy thoughts
Strong and unkind.

My rib cage,
Comes to a close.
Suffocating my lungs,
My breathing slows.

What is this feeling,
That's lurking below.
The surface of my skin,
Seeping poison into my blood flow.

Trying to fight off these emotions,
Trying to fight off the commotion.
Can't keep up with my mind,
Don't even know what I'm trying to find.

Elle Frazier Oct 2014

Double Take (Haiku)

I thought I saw you
It made my heart race faster
But it was not you

Didn't quite know how to form my thoughts tonight into a poem. So here's a haiku—for you.

Elle Frazier Dec 2013

Snow Fall

Snow is so magical
So white

I wish I knew how to fall like snow
So delicately
So kind

I fall like rain drops
So rough
So inconsiderate

The way I fall
I should know

Not to have fallen
For you

As I watch the snow fall
I think of you

I think of how the beauty of the snow
Reminds me of your smile

So mesmerizing
So beautiful
So bright

And I'm reminded
Of how intensely
I love the snow

Of how intensely
I love you

I think of how I fell
Like the rain
For you

Now I sit pathetically alone
Wondering why I couldn't
Fall like you

So delicately
So gentle
So kind

I love watching the snow fall
So exquisite
So natural

Just like you once fell into my arms
So harmless
So unaware

That I was a rainstorm
Awaiting to change
Your beauty into
Cold ice

So I'll continue to watch
As the snow falls

And think of how much
I love you

Think of how better you were
Before you met me

I wish you could see this.

Elle Frazier Dec 2013

I thought I knew

Lost in a haze
Trying to find where my mind went
Trying to fathom what I've done

Grazing through my crowded mind
Confused why I let myself down

Why did I let you and me down?
I thought I knew

I thought you were the one for me

Was is because I was scared?
I don't know

Words slurring off my tipsy tongue
Not making any comprehensible sense

Like the decisions I've made
I'm so sorry

If I could give you answers to your heartbroken questions
I would

But right now,
I am not me

I thought I knew
Where I wanted to be
What I wanted
Who I loved

I thought I knew

forgive me

Elle Frazier Jul 2013

Yes, No, Maybe So

Yes
Yes
Yes

Pause

No
No
No

But the way the blade feels in my hand tells me otherwise

"It's okay, everyone has to escape somehow. It's okay" it gently whispers to me

Spinning the gleaming blade
Round and round my fingers,
It twirls

You can't write out the bad ****
You've have to cut it out

Delete it all
That's only what I'd be doing

Yes
Yes
Yes

Pause

No
No
No

I need to try for you
I need to try for me

But the way you call my name entices all my thoughts
All my adrenaline runs to you

The sharp edge is cutting it's way into my mind
Convincing me it'll all be released

Everything was released.

Released.

...relapse.

Just one of those kind of nights.

Elle Frazier Jul 2013

Losing It

My mind is exploding,
My heart is falling apart.
Aching, really.
Two and a half years,
Now you've vanished and I can't,
f e e l.
I can't *******,
t h i n k.
Perpetually waiting for you to talk to me,
Stupidly waiting for something that won't come.

My mind is exploding,
My heart is falling apart.
Shattering, really.
I discovered myself in you,
Now I only find myself walking the streets at night,
Wondering when you'll be back.
Wondering if I'll ever return.
It hurts like,
h e l l.

My mind is exploding,
My heart is falling apart.
Dying, really.
Thinking of you with each passing day,
When will everything be okay?
I need you.
I need you to come,
b a c k.

Elle Frazier Jul 2013

Smoke Rings

Sitting here blowing smoke rings,
just thinking of you.

Sitting here wondering what you're doing,
wondering if you're okay.

But I shouldn't wonder,
because you're no longer mine, so my mind shouldn't ponder.

Sitting here blowing smoke rings,
makes me wonder if someone else will mend your broken wings.

Can't believe I did what I did,
but who am I to kid?

It was inevitable I was going to hurt you,
it was inevitable I was going to hurt you.

Sitting here blowing smoke rings,
just trying to pass time.

Sitting here blowing smoke rings,
wondering why you're not mine.