I am not Indian. I am Gitxsan

I belong to a territory, I am Gitxsan

Like my ancestors before me.

Before contact with people from other lands, We are Gitxsan

I do not know this word Indian

Maybe the word is from faraway lands

Maybe they will be proud to be called Indians

Like I am proud to be called Gitxsan

This land is Gitxsan, She cares for her people

We are Gitxsan

Who are these new people

That accept that title of Indian

From someone far away that doesn’t see,That they are Gitxsan

Their territory is 1 mile by 1 mile , They live by their territorial rules

Given to them by eyes that do not see

That they were once a proud nation

Of Gitxsan

Give me a card that says, I am Gitxsan

And I will be happy

Let my children of mixed blood Also be happy to be

Gitxsan

It is not for your unseeing eyes or uncaring heart to say

Who in my family is, Gitxsan It is in their hearts to be Gitxsan

Gitxsan is not just a word

It is the land, the people, the language, the animals and the spirits

I stand proudly beside the Hopi, the Apache, the Sioux, the Cree, and all other nations labelled Indian.

I am Gitxsan.

Wogalwil

Edward Green

There is no reaction except to disagree
Loving  words,  wasted on useless ears.
Mind not comprehending, loving melodies
Dead space,

Nothing.

Words of encouragement cast aside
Insecurity races forward  and dominates
Cry inside, left alone to contemplate relationship.
a hint of love would satisfy emotions

Nothing

Sitting at dinner with nothing
Random useless conversation, filling voids
Carelessly spewing obscenities at behaviours
Seldom stopping to understand

Nothing

I love you a ton, maybe two, noooo maybe three
or maybe not at all, No reaction
Said to loud , others may hear, whisper sweet nothings
to empty space. mind strays to other possibilities

Nothing

Personalities clash, opinions are pointless
Care or dare to care, who's winning
Walk away slouched shoulders, broken inside
No more feelings, numbness

Nothing.

Rage at the  nothing
Find answers as to why.
But, there is anger at the nothing
There must be something.

“I love you”. You said and then you slipped away.
Broken dreams, meaningless futile efforts at happiness?
Mingled with useless feelings, promises of safe havens cast aside
Unmatched emptiness, soulless societies tearing apart concrete foundations

Searching with fevered panic, unhealthy unions superseded by drunkenness
Vacant eyes, struggled smiles stare back with futile efforts of understanding
Unreachable depths of ******* broken only by moments of saneness
Interruptions of innocent faces, blankly staring in wonderment at nothingness

Empty sentiment screams from hollowed eyes, foul breath from yellowed rotted smiles
Halo dirtied by unwashed hands, melodies of undying love, waking emotions.
Saneness interrupts
Passions momentarily subside, shameful memories, guilt ridden questions of why.
Seek forgiveness, absolution, resurrection of self worth.
Intimidated inner child crying, wanting wholeness

Inebriated ears cannot hear the mournful cry.
Sightless to the destruction of beautiful dreams
Cynical hearts cannot feel the bottomless abyss, created by selfish needs
Beautiful white light eclipsed by black desires, reality escapes

Averted eyes, wanton lies, excuses spring forth from rancid lips of deception
Healing words cast aside, ***** by visions of drunken ******.
A warped sense of empowerment dissuades sanity.
Trapped in the tentacles of forbidden lust.
Saneness interrupts

Written By Edward Gordon Green.

Where are you my friends long forgotten by many? Why does this emptiness persist?
Loneliness dominates where happiness and laughter once resided.
Why do you not answer me? Be still no more my friends, laugh for me.
Whisper to me that all is fine

I am so alone; your company escapes me, I long to see your smiles
Empty spaces from my youth, we laughed and stood strong side by side.
Our laughter echoed throughout. We shed our tears in our comfort
Whisper to me that all is fine.

How do I survive on these memories that tear me apart?
This sorrow will not subside; Show me how to survive this ugly pain deep down.
Let this life be ended so that I may join you and laugh again.
Whisper to me that all is fine.

But go on I must, oh life, unwanted life, full of misery.
Why must I forever toil in this darkness without you my friends.
What worth am I, now you are gone? How shall I speak of your passing?
Whisper to me that all is fine.

Let the wind carry your words of comfort, Tell me that happiness is around the corner.
And yet, the emptiness persists, my heart aches with tears, shall I scream in utter frustration and longing.
Simple are the words that pass my lips. I miss you. Yet the weight is unbearable.
Whisper to me that all is fine.

Words can not describe this chasm of unrelenting sorrow.
Unfinished melodies, cast out to empty air. Unheard
Whisper to me that all is fine.

Written By
Edward Green
Dec 29/06

******* once swept past my door stopping only for a brief moment.
Wreaking havoc Straining, spitting lunging anger and misdirected truths
Smiling softly, throwing insults into a face of innocence
Destroying the essence of beauty and faithfulness

Pure love cast aside by wickedness, Unfeeling, unjust accusations
Unmatched fury, bitter pride spewing forth obscenities of half eaten hate
A future wracked with pain and sorrow, desolate emptiness never ending fear.
Crushing resistance of commonsense, ending all hope

Fleeting moments of happiness, promises made, promises UN-kept, wringing hands of frustration
Stirring emotions of unfulfillment, and discontent
Seeking “nay” desiring solace in the arms of understanding
Giving all, breaking all vows for moments of contentment

Only thoughts of death to stop the pain, only to wake and feel again
Selfishness rears its ugly head, and smiles at the havoc wreaked
Love nurtured from an evil past, masked by innocent eyes.
Black sated desires, Intentional destruction of love.

Wilted rose clinging to hope. Unnoticed tears, fear supersedes all
Numbed pretense of happiness, escape inside.
Wander through mundane existence, Empty smiles, and soulless eyes.
Watching lovers embraced in happiness. Endless envy.

This prison, this life of darkness, this shameful  existence
Hold together your true self. Unlock the beauty inside.
Wisely hear words of knowledge, speak to the pain. Re-live to lessen the hurt.
Open doors long locked, enter the domain of evil. Cast out doubt, and insecurities

An extended hand of happiness and safety, unconditional affection.
Surrender to love, and tenderness, embrace childhood dreams of love.
Awaken to a smile, a slight kiss, a lasting embrace
Sweet whispers of undying love. All passions fulfilled.

Written by
Edward Green

Concealed Beauty a veiled smile
Frightened moments of hope, rejecting all
Fleeing from happiness, fear intercedes
Raging rivers of doubt, intercepts commitment

Sleepless nights provided by unmet desires
Hopelessly, emotionally, wracked by emptiness
Strained tears, sobs escape, tormented soul.
Reach for empty spaces, realization explodes.

Eruption of Self pity, self doubt, weep for wholeness
Aimless wandering of the soul, searching all corners of the heart seeking happiness.
Blurred noise, unanswered reflection. Stupor of drunkenness.

Accidental encounter, strange calming voice,
Caution thrown to the wind. Exhilarated moments of elation
Imagination soars, excited moments of distant possibilities
Heart found, secret desires fulfilled, sweet sweet silence.

A lovers embrace, whisper passionate melodies of adoration, an enduring kiss.
A lovers gaze, locked together for eternity, unbreakable emotion.
Pure immeasurable love and friendship, happiness begins
Regurgitated ****** from blackness, born new.

Written by
Edward Green
01/09/07

Incomparable beauty, energy abounds, youthful exuberance.
Endless compassion, effortless love, a wild embrace.
Smile so softly, a flirtatious glint of promise, a spontaneous kiss.
Memories of a tear, shattered hopes of happiness.

Eager moments of expectations, wonderment of fear.
Excited anticipation of a forbidden love.
Freedom, bound by unhealthy relationships.
Beauty concealed by vicious rumor and uncaring selfishness.

Lowered eyes, careful smile, passions unmet, desires yet unfilled
Hide the hurts and disappointments, smile with empty eyes.
Words of adoration spring forth freely, I Love you.
Wasted not on a hurting heart, filling emptiness and loneliness.

Guarded heart, glimpses of beauty and thoughtfulness.
Mourning for newness, quest for happiness.
Empty spaces filled with sadness and hope of a new love.
Gaze from a distance at promised love and safety, longing for purity.

Take heart beautiful one, it is there, reach out and fulfill your longing.
Let it not slip from your grasp, decisions of complete surrender unfettered by the past.
Fear of society cast aside by an emotional tide of happiness.
Arms opened wide beckoning for release of captured soul.

Written by
Edward Green

Wake your pretty soul, Let the innocence flow
Dreams still exist, just secreted somewhere
An inner beauty, hidden by worldly needs.
Bring forth the smile of wonderment and take up the challenges of life
Take heart for it is not done

What stirs these emotions of want and need?
What memories destroy such beauty and innocence?
What blackens the horizons of a glowing sun?
Take heart for it is not done

A hurting heart yet unfilled
An empty space of loneliness.
A hurt so deep that none can see.
Normalcy escapes, Darkness beckons.

Tears will not flow from a hardened heart
Motionless emotion, created by hate
Hold it in, push it down, and make it go away
What dreams, What feelings
The questions remain.

Written by Edward green

I have waited so long To hear your voice
Empty heart, springs to life
Have I known you, did we speak?
Shall we rest awhile, and admire the beauty

Can you hear the hardness in my voice
Can you feel the emptiness which dominates
How long have you known me
How long have you felt my hurts

Which life is this, were we lovers
Did we break each others hearts
Over the strands of time, did we lose each other
Do we recognize that love does not know time.

How long have you searched, finding emptiness
What trials have burdened you
Strengthening you for this moment
Shall we let the moment slide by unanswered

Stay awhile, hold my hand
Lets us not weep from past experiences
But take from them lessons learned
New beginnings await us

Renewal of an old love which has evaded time
I am yours
You are mine
Forever


Written by Edward Gordon Green

What is this hold that permeates my very existence?
Spreading warmness deep within. A sweet sensation of pure lust.
A need to reach out and caress unbridled energy.
Stolen moments of complete ecstasy and unreserved fantasy.

Reach for me so that I may engulf my very being in your essence.
Experience oneness that few achieve.
Embrace me; Sate this hunger and desire that holds me prisoner.
Hold me so that I may become your soul.

Exploitations of a forbidden love. A disgustingly delicious emotion of desire.
Abandon the shackles that bind, Explore the wicked wanton needs of inner self.
Oh sweet innocence, release thy self, still thy beating heart.
Stolen tender moments, a slight caress, quiet serenity.

Awakened memories, invasions of happiness, a smile from the land of dreams.
Hide the tremors of such bliss, still thy breath.
A secret safe within the heart, shudder at thoughts of climactic emotion.
A dreary future cast aside, overwhelmed by an emotional tide.
Of a moment in time.

Ache no more my beating heart, pure is the love so fleetingly felt.
A oneness thou hast achieved, delivered by such beauty.
Born of wretchedness and broken dreams.
Keep safe within your walls, secret of desires, shared moments of pleasure.
Of such moments in time.

Written By Edward green

Dec, 2006

I was once four times in love.
The levels varied yet it was love.
These loves were destroyed by
Greener grass, addictions and lust.
I was once in love for the fifth time.
which I destroyed, because of fear.
I became hardened, mean and callous.
and pushed the love away.
Now I am alone, afraid and lonely.
I was once in love five times,
Dare I go on.

Written by
Edward Green
April 10, 2014