shall i bring death to life

and in doing so **** it

for what is death if it be life

or life if it be death

for reasoning’s in my mind

have chosen thus that both

once closed to each can be reconciled

by the life of death,

by affirmative lyrical flights

that issue forth that desperate need

that desperate need to know

to shape such understanding

into coherent form

to endure the vicious energies

that cause such enactment

an intense and exhausting experience

that such presentations and transformations

of permissible or possible effect do yield

to love and to be the companion of death

into its halls and become

one with the universal consolation

of solitary echoes

i have found an inner reality

incorruptible, immutable

soon to be repossessed

words float on my breath

but this is where i hide them

in this inner reality

for many wish to confiscate them

but they are safe here

here in the desert of my inner exile

Swallowed all the music pills

From the three penny opera store

The words gathered in my mouth

Were out of shape as I tried to talk to the moon

There was cheap beer but I couldn’t find it

All I got was a lottery ticket for a coffin lid

And the night alone listented, listented

To all these misshapened forms, these words

These words, these words gathered in my mouth

They have qualifications of compensations that prove ineffectual in the meaning of speech
Like the false prophets who preach then hide in explanation preferring the faces of boys steal my name
Mothers hold their children to their *******, purple smoke fills the air while other peoples’ appetites are eaten
The most frightful realisation of ambiguity presents itself in a waltz of hesitation
I hear the whispers of soft syrup coloured skin, of long polished black hair, of complexions
A pestilential silence that reaches and grips from corpse strewn streets creates a gentle but pure indolence
Now You are no longer where I can find my presence.

three blue
three blue
three blue
can’t you
hear it
too
the unutterable
sound of silence

.........there is a blackness...a black calm...a relentless silence...the sun has disappeared...an hysteria of suppressed gasps...all is black...soot black...the sea is a massive wall of water...there is such a calmness...such a calmness....for I have witnessed it...2061...2061......

Let them see you

Grin, Grin, Grin

Then reach inside your head

Look, behold and see

The new apostate

That incubates within

Lifeless beauty that lives everlasting

Time that reason cannot change

O enchanted torture you have stolen

The taste from my mouth

Masked I against the spectre of reality

A boy in purple pants
Clapped his hands
Air convulsed with his care

The world was shattered
Stunned by his noise
Pavements cracked

Old men died

I think who is coming
No one, there are no echoes
I encounter a color
But don’t know what it is
It’s not a colour I have ever seen
Nor has anyone
It is a new colour just born
A colour that tempers shameless chaos
Tears the preferred darkness of blame deep inside
That denies the chance of I am
No one is here there are no echoes no sounds
A white spider smiles in incongruous chorus
A valley of its heart burning in choking congress
While it walks on its hands leaving footprints of burning rainbows embedded in the clay
I am not where I think.....therefore I think where I am not...

Thou hast  bequeathed me

Difficult circumstance

A Monster of iniquity

Where comedy and tragedy

Form themselves upon

The rhythms of my life

One that is not

Impoverished of ridicule

I have seen their hands
Fingers that go everywhere
Those that wrest
ambivalence from themselves
To see a beautiful boy

Through the shadows of evening

I brandish my grievances

Tortures that shame me with a fatal incompetence

That disperse nothingness, while about the place

Threads of mist hang in the air, ghostly blankets

Suspended by invisible strings perhaps portents

Prophesies of future events

Beyond my mind there is a silence

A silence without end everywhere

It is as if the very elements themselves

Hold their breath waiting for something to happen

A silvery unexplained light floats like mercury on my mind

The world looks on in hideous and embarrassed silence

I close my eyes

there is a stranger that I knew

perhaps you know him too

a stranger with velvet eyes

and dust on his tongue

old prayers scuttle,

amen themselves

still the air

and to this quiet place

the unquiet come

those who fall

for they are cursed

who bright their coffins here

and follow water

to its pure black fountain

appear like bats

charred black pages

from a burnt book

darken the twilight sky

they embrace

turning light to darkness

those

undead

now

unlive

A thousand words

Within me gently fade

As I write about hate

Underwater

For Underwater everyone

Sounds the same

Dear diary
What could it be
That Haunts and distracts me

Dear diary
What's wrong with me
What could it be

I am frightened

Don't you see
Should I fall
Swiftly on my sword?

Where is this? It’s here

Well more or less

I listen to the color of music

In so doing hear Arthur

Hear the candence

Of the colored vowels

Voyelles, voyelles, voyelles……..

And the world cannot contain me

..in anguish it tears from within...... binding my flesh like ropes upon a main sail...screams like the ebbing of the tide and weeps in perpetual choirs of creative impulse.....and its arrival of always goes everywhere.......

The ghost of my eternity

Like a stone carved dream

Floats in blue air reflections

Of crystal mirrors

With lips untaught to smile

Already blind, stares at the sun

For there is no title, unless given

……..I hear beleaguered colors…live the words of yet unsaid…..see the ***** that lingers upon the back road… with its uneven tread…. and left black ink to paper pose…. that mingles in my mind…..and hear a chant of lullabies…. and in this light of darkness find…. the scattering letters of the globe and place them with a stroke upon the parchment in my palm….. then know for certain who I am not and thus know who I am…….

Hear the crying of the moon
The silent scents that stray
Quiet clocks at noon
Bewildering the day

And in the soft caress
Of the jewelled dawn
Gold, red, amber
Make ready to be gone

Brush your hand across my tingling skin
With its scented shade
Feel its soothing touch
All reality to fade

There is no end, I think, of kissing
Palms move with pilgrims’ tender touch
My breath fast and glistening
Never have I felt such want so much

In your arms there is delight
Like stars in a dark black painted night
Whose moon casts, such peculiar light
That all fantasy takes to flight

In the heaven of your face
See your colour, cream, pink trace
Feel the beautiful embrace
Take me to another place

Tenderness of touching greets my smile
I drink you in all the while
Tasting your soft risen sun
Another day has just begun

We are not really two
But are one

shame on me i have died a while
transmogrified with sleeping pills
killing time, as time kills, killing time
no-one would give me a gun
and back where life still bleeds
i die a little more, gone to far, to far
to  far inside my head where a medical drip
steals my time
time in a little plastic bag
shame on me i have died a while
could you get me some
some time, any time
but mostly some time

I see him and my heart sprinkles

Soft constellations upon me

Oh how I wish I knew

The secret language of his

Dark attraction

I would speak it

Shout it, sing it

Just like a love song

In that moment

That same moment

That moment of becoming

I wander

In a wildreness

Of turquoise monkeys

Each demanding my flesh

A timeless dimension

Unmitigated clarity

I focus on the page

And surrender to

The pointed direction

Of the transcription

Of my unconsciousness

There is writing

“Wet Paint”, it said
heavy bold, white on red
upper case
no need for waste
except food stuffs
it read

I watch, wait for him

Now he is here, floats on my breath

Confiscates my words, holds them

Like a whisper in a rats mouth

His imperishable body is kept on recall

And leaks through me

I see a projection of him, disconnected

A cinematograph, a vision

A vision that will not dematerialise

Yet allows my words to escape

And slink out of drains at noon

Hissing like static interference

As they slither across the page

They allow me to catch the curve of a rainbow

Catch it in my mouth

Denying all realities but my imagination

The words dart along my tongue

Like the shiver of wind across a pond

They form a recreation of heightened moments

Of my consciousness, the weightlessness of inner thought

and the page and I become one, I write

Space confines

and Reminds me

all that we are is thought

...I am in a delirium beyond all compass....I have seen him....yes seen him...powerful...perhaps again...yes again...though to sure.... when..... I am not of a mind to know.......anyways perhaps later...... yes.... later perhaps...

A thousand years

Oh a thousand, thousand years

You are still

The rich heir of all my tears

Breathe deeply in this silence

Stand, stand still like the thickness of a sorrow

Feel one’s own emotions, their intensity

Amidst the history of this great disorder

Where truth does not exceed exception

How dark

My memories

Of The Moon

The ink thoughts

Of Oriental scribes

I dream only beautiful nightmares where black flowers ******

With the arrival of always and grow everywhere

Lifting aloft their jet colored leaves to a blue and purple sun

Which leaves me fraught with glorious purpose

Still I am nothing much, just something different

We do not belong to this world - we are immortal
I go where you go - I have to
For the world has conspired with my thoughts
And everywhere I look I see your presence…..

There is….

There is…

Do you hear it

The color, the color

of a wall what r

Is there an r

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….

Colors bleed seeping into a mist that seems to be approaching
There is a feeling that is capacious and transporting
I have no sense of loss. I miss no-one, not even myself
Because for some unknown reason I cannot remember who I am.

Hear the crying of the moon
The silent scents that stray
Quiet clocks at noon
Bewildering the day

And in the soft caress
Of the jewelled dawn
Gold, red, amber
Make ready to be gone

Brush your hand across my tingling skin
With its scented shade
Feel its soothing touch
All reality to fade

There is no end, I think, of kissing
Palms move with pilgrims’ tender touch
My breath fast and glistening
Never have I felt such want so much

In your arms there is delight
Like stars in a dark black painted night
Whose moon casts, such peculiar light
That all fantasy takes to flight

In the heaven of your face
See your colour, cream, pink trace
Feel the beautiful embrace
Take me to another place

Tenderness of touching greets my smile
I drink you in all the while
Tasting your soft risen sun
Another day has just begun

We are not really two
But are one

What a sweet addiction overcomes me

An intoxication of cobwebbed lines

That cling to me pleading for recognition

Flesh that flops in fragile crime

That melts in sequence providing

Ashes that block my vision yet still my tears

It is a new beginning but I don’t know which one

and I have had glimpses
of an eager dawn
turn to the crackle of flame
and incinerate itself
in the creation
of an emotional impulse

Colors bleed seeping into a mist that seems to be approaching
There is a feeling that is capacious and transporting
I have no sense of loss. I miss no-one, not even myself
Because for some unknown reason I cannot remember who I am.

He has done the sentences
I want to drink
Beautiful…beautiful words
I thirst
Make me think

Do only straight boys kick tin cans
/         /        /       /      /         /         / ?

in that instant
consumed suns
planets moons
fire out
annihilated to nothingness
then into his mouth
all darkness pours
he shallows and he shallows
and the darkness pours in
it is the abyss of humanness
into which we reach
not knowing where
the bottom lies
now the darkness
shines on his face
a cold metallic blue
while a historical shadow
sits on his mouth

The lament of maremaids seldom heard

No more need to listen or to call

This is it

Living like a stone in a locked room

The slap across my face
Invested all its power, all its pain,
I cried,
Hit again, told real boys don’t cry
But I did

......there is a sorrow that tears at my heart....it cries like an orphaned child looking for a father....it swirls about me in the night and plagues me in the light......

For all of us who know the pain

Of Valentines that never came

this poem is an inch long in time

...and all the sea did call a name...a name that no one heard...it floated on the breeze.....on tips of waves...but it was just a word....drowning....drowning in the midst of swell..... spiraling as its heard...no one recalls just what it was...cause it was just a word........