Upon the highest of hieghts,
I see the eagle soar,
I fear my fall,
as my soul blackens to the core.

I have done so wrong,
my words cut this out,
heart beats on the floor,
and inside I shout.

I have given you pain,
and it pains me still,
how do undo this,
tell me and I will.

Split,
          in two.
Shattered,
                   into a thousand p  i  e  c   e  s   .
Scarred,
               but healing.

Get the glue,
get the needle and thread,
Fill the cracks with gold,
and learn to mend.

We are all broken here,
but we are more beautiful for being so.
My scars tell a story,
its the tapestry of me.

See this white line,
I over came it,
I stepped passed the line,
and now I can no longer see it.

In summer I see you,
as leaves fall I speak to you,
at winter I touch you,
in spring we love.
Another summer reminds me of your warmth,
as we fall away,
in winter your heart turns cold,
but I will break through like a chick through shell.
Burn through my dark clouds,
autumn sets kindling ablaze,
no snow can touch my skin,
my fires stoked, I will breathe new life into us,
in summer I shall see you again,
by time trees grow bare, I'll bare my soul,
and in the white landscape we shall be whole.

The goat bleats a solemn cry,
the young lamb wishes to die.
Stork up high,
beating wings against the roof,
lion red with blood,
feeds on deer with cloven hoof.
Rabbit and hare dig into the ground,
ants nest piles up into a mound,
swarm out and sting all around.
What a sight say the crowd,
rain does fall from blackened cloud,
escape from which no beast is allowed.

A menagerie of pain,
a gathering of prey,
for all, even lion, is prey to man,
all fall victim to his curiosity,
to his pride,
to his greed,
even to his efforts to raise his child.

Everything I wanted and more,
the more is the heartache.
She plays me like a fiddle,
pulling screeching notes out of the chords in my throat.
A cacophony of sounds rising from my soul.
Pulling me this way and that.
Yes,
no,
maybe.
Please, make a decision,
I'm incapable of making one myself.
She is my poison,
she is my ruin.
If it starts with pain then it cannot end well,
but I just grit my teeth and carry on.
I have learnt that I can be desired,
I have sought out reinforcement,
they show me it's not just her.
But for me it can only really be her.

Oh how far my eyes can see,
moonlight and stars after sunset,
Oh but, how blind I've been,
to see this world as happy.

With every mind introduced,
every being I meet,
all the stories they have told,
and all the pain that they share.

Every smile and wave,
from the people in the street,
all wane when out of sight,
because all hide discontentment.

Happiness is not a state of mind,
it's a drug freely given when conditions are right,
it's a chemical so organic and pure,
and in such short supply.

We are worriers,
we are prey,
we are victim.

We did not come to exist in a happy world,
we were born from one of hunger,
where hunters stalked the night,
where big cats and wild dogs took us if we grew weak.

Without disease, war and famine,
what else do we have to fear.

Adrenaline pumps,
endorphins race across chasms,
its not cynicism, its synaptic.

In a world free from outside forces we grow to fear whats inside,
depression is not new, it is vital,
we evolved to be scared,
but we have nothing left to be scared of,
so we fear our own humanity,
because it's all that's left.

Dying for someone is easy,
everyday a soldier dies for a stranger.
Living for someone hurts,
for her I shall live.

For her I will let them poison me,
I will let them poke and ****,
and scan and search.
For her I shall live.

Dying would be so easy,
step away from the wards,
from the beeping machines,
from the sympathetic eyes,
and just be.

For her I do more than being,
for her I shall live.