The most delicate form of beauty
plucked from a metaphor
a simile for beauty
made from the softest fibers of earth
the eyelashes of the mother herself
positioned to perfection
framing the faces of flowers of every stem
the petals turn to look at me
and I dust their existence onto my cheeks

As the waves crash on the eastern shore
We dip our feet in the calm sea of the west
The sun has only began to arise
Bright with orange hope of noon beginnings
The sky looks like bright paint on a gray canvas
Soon we lay in the sand
The sun dries until only salt is left in our hair and skin
And you kiss the palm of my hand
Our breathing is slowed
Our lids drag and get very low
As if the light is like weight on our eyes
Too afraid to fall asleep
Because of sunburn
And the fact that we will miss time with each other
The sun beams on the western shells
Glittering like diamonds we pick them up and present
The gift of everlasting friendship

Never forget me even when you slumber
When the eastern shore is full of pain and thunder
The shells will glitter
The sun will hold you
our friendship my love will always ring true
The sky will be blue
And here I will stand
Waiting for you to join me
Resting in the sand

Life is bleak
eyes are low
my wrists are weak
I think of nothing
no desire to eat
hollowed and thin
bones rattle lullabies
to my sleeping thoughts of suicide
They are the only things that sleep
the rest of me lays awake at night
forcing slumber on a girl held tight
by memories that burn behind her eyes

My chest feels compressed
each drag of breath
I'm dreaming about death
The sky looks cracked to me
The earth is split
My inner demons escaping from their pit
Nothing really matters
We are all going to die
So why should I live like this?
Never happy with the feel of life's kiss

I pass back
smoking dark not black
more like blue
smoking memories of you
i inhale the breath of pain
exhale the pain of breathing
this sting has taught me
smoking does not alleviate hurt
it stores it away
hidden until you come back down
like you're collecting your bags
after a night out on the town
you drag your bags home
holding your breath
so you can roll another lie
to ease your distress
and you burn with the rest
sneak out of your home
borrow money from your brother
you're starting to act just like your mother
you find a spot you can call your own
and smoke up your loud
just to sit on some clouds
within a few hours you are back where you started
wondering why the drugs look dark
not quite black
but more or less blue
they have become a part of you.

I have seen a thousand sunrises
Mornings where I wake up and everything feels alright
excited for the day
When the ends of my mind have not started to fray

Light pitched across the room
breaks the dusty pane
Mind stirring in pretend anticipation
It is morning

Late in the night I am awoken
By my mind ready to dance
My twisted conscience woos me
Into a heart yearning trance
Reality takes the floor
It dips me into a pool of my own sensuality
Society wants my hand next
We foxtrot into a dangerous waltz
As my world begins to spin
My two left feet hold up my broken frame
And doubt twirls into my view
This night goes on forever dancing without shoes
Without support
Without a heart
Because family says they know it is a “phase”
it tears me apart

skin on skin
brush your lips on mine
grab my waist
drag me closer to you
skin on skin
pull me up
dip me down
into you
my flesh tingles
as our smooth friction
turns into passion
like a chemical reaction
we change with each other
our bodies collide
your love turns my tides
as i sway in your arms
my knees weak and my patience thin
because of our skin to skin

my feelings are a garden
my heart is a blossom
sunlight shines through my thin skin
on my delicate petals
my hands are a canary yellow
daffodils in a sea of green
leaves cover the roots of my life
so that you can only see the beautiful flower
gazing into a new future
on a hill overlooking
the river of the past
a little wooden fence surrounds the garden
protecting the bulbs and blooms
from the world
my soul is a gate
locking in the moisture of love
my feelings are a garden
that I'm growing for you.

I was walking with you
On the path of thorns
Nothing but moonlight guiding us
In this enchanted forest
A tree with gnarled roots
Turns to ask me
How much for your soul?
How much are you willing to give me
If I take this pain away
So dear tree with ****** up branches
Have my sanity I can't use it
Have my pride and respect I don't need it
O tree with venomous fruit
Have my love.
My love is twisted just like you
I'm sick sick. I'm sick and broken
Tired of green invading my winters
The tree gave me three things
Alcohol. Xanax. ****.
Then one more so I'd have four
A knife
I have a promising life
It was as fragile as butterfly wings.
Gentle enough to sit at the end of the knife
That the ***** tree slipped into my bag.
I slit them.
These wrists filled with thick black blood
Pumping at all time slow
My heart rates on a no because it's time to go
My time is up I don't want to be in this forest with you
Take me out tree
Take me out tree
He drags me into the thickness thickness
I'm not crazy i promise this really happened.
What did you say?
Who is coming?
Oh I'm sorry let me fix this
hello! Let me write this for you
I'm a little crazy like times two
But whatever I'm okay I think
My minds cluttered like a dish filled sink
I can do you a poem
A poem
A poem
A poem
I can do you a poem I think

I felt different when you hit me for the first time
It felt as though I committed a crime
My eyes burned and my skin was on fire
A feverish pain that would never retire
flared up in my heart that very night
I even thought that you were right
To beat me at every chance you had
If you were shocked, angry, tired, or sad
I felt different when you burned me for the first time
When your alcoholic stupor was in its prime
Your breath smelled like the cigarettes you used
Leaving my mind the  most confused
Asking whether you loved me or not
as you checked if the water got too hot
Used to scald my body as I screamed and cried
When they asked about the burns I know you lied
I felt different many years later
Asking myself if I hate her
Wondering if I should forgive the others
If I've found a way to forgive my mother.

Smile, smile, smile real big honey
Even if your parents don't have the money
To send you to school in designer tom ford
If thrift shop jeans were all they could afford

Smile, smile, smile real big brother
Even if the drugs have ran off with your mother
Even if the abuse is worse at night
Smile and show me them pearly whites

Smile, smile, smile real big sister
Even if you're being touched by a strange mister
That momma brought home a couple of weeks ago
Remember to smile and try to say no!

SMILE SMILE SMILE EVERYONE
Your life is not over that day is not done
Come on children use your brain!
Nobody wants to deal with your pain
We can not let this world see you crying
At least let them think that you're trying
Cover the razor scars
Please puke later
Put away the noose
These problems ain't major
Stop stop being miserable please
Look at the camera and just say cheese.

I'm not too skinny
its just that my bones huddle together
shrinking from the cold winds of societies glares
they pull my skin tightly over themselves
like trench coats
protection from the worlds disapproving stares
my bones are just scared
they try there hardest to stick out nicely
but are left to clink together in an empty casing
they are not happy with the mirror they are facing
so when i am alone and i look at myself my bones hide
they are tired of seeing themselves
i think they are trophies
each one is an addition to my collection i give all signs of affection
to my bonified reflection
my chest is a set of dusty shelves
my body an empty cabinet
they say I'm skinny but I'm trying to place
all of my bones in this empty space.

I've watched a thousand moons
rise and set over you
your lips brush my lids as I
close my eyes and open my heart
your desire is a fog
densely clouding my path
allowing me to wander into the deep forest
of your mind
falling asleep in your sweet intimate haze
dozing deliriously in love
as i watch a thousand more moons with you