you love the angry songs, but it's different if it's about you.
you hate the love songs, but it's different if it's for you.
rub it. rub that **** stain into the carpet so no one will notice it was ever there.
we all do.

we laugh.
but we don't forget.
it's all up there.
built up back there.
something sticky. something moving up the throat, down the throat, about to sink in, about to spew out.
scream, sigh and ultimately... laugh.

The smack lays his warm hands on you
And though you hate him, now you bow
Like the slave submits himself to the word of the king
Because he knows the punishment for rebellion will be too much to handle

Now the smack won't let go of you because you had faith in the "one-time-thing".

Give me something. What is this? **** me up.
White as the powder filling the void of your nostrils.
Light, light, light it up. A serge of energy KERRPLOP!!! let's ****.
With water I came, with water I will flood back out. This is a flow, stop and go.
Back to pre-school. All circles, circles, circles...
There goes, there goes, there goes denial. There goes regret.
Miss Acceptance sitting on my door step, giving me the wink, shaking off her heals, offering a brownie, begging for a quick one while Mr. Wakeuptime is away, spreading the bleak truth.
When he comes back I'll burn one down. Maybe he digs.
If not, then I'll walk up them invisible stairs until that little hatch in the clouds reveals itself and opens for me to ******* on Elvis Presley!

2 decades and it almost feels like another midlife crisis
My head was too big to come out of mommy's ******
Letter C in the stomach, out pops the baby covered in muck
But I wasn't sad to be here. I was ready.

Now the baby has ****** hair.
******* on a cigarette instead of a *** or a thumb.
Things have changed and everything is the same
There was a message I forgot as I was being lifted out of the large round belly
Something I somehow reclaimed much later...
"Everythings Okay," said the Eye on May 14, 1992.

If only all these perfect words that I have been tearing my hairs out to find, would stumble off my tongue, out of my mouth and fly through the air to land safely in your ears. A mutual moment of absolute understanding.
But those words, those perfect beautiful words are getting trapped on the roof of my mouth and what comes out on the other end is a message incomplete.
It's like telephone.
My message was "I love you" but the sound distorted as it was passed around the circle, from head to head, whisper to giggle to whisper. It came out, "I HUFF GLUE!"
We lost it, somewhere from A to B.

Is it you that I'm missing or am I missing myself?
Always hanging on to something while distracted by something else
Got a message from God, he said, "BE YOURSELF"
Wearing a mask is never good for your health

I never meant to hurt nobody but we all make mistakes
It's hard to sit back and watch as all that we created breaks
Makes me so **** tired of all those rotten takes
And all the damage that the blind love makes

And it brings you to life, and gets you so high
But then you fall so low, with nowhere to go, start over again

And I recall so well the view from the top
On the bridge looking down, finding reasons not to drop
With all them lexapros that made my feelings stop
adis and zanis cleaned me up like a mop

But love is so tender, it can't help but be torn
In the middle December where this coat ain't keeping me warm
So I weight it out in a puff of scorn
... it's only fair to warn
There is Something missing.........
Then you fall so low, with nowhere to go, start over again.