highschool is such pain
but I won
no,I lied.
I trusted them.
I gave everything up for them.
I was the only kind of friend that'd anything for them.
I was left in the tent.
Sobbing till the end of the night.
No one undertsands.
No,I don't want you to understand too.

that's pretty bold of you to say
those lies
happiness is never a choice
love is
and I chose not to get any closer to those insanity
"avoid love at all cost"
I'm trying but there's this guy
but,
no.

they say change is good
i laughed with tears filling up my eyes
sober by the night
quite by the daylight
i remember that year
the year i was beaten without sympathy
i didnt do anything
he was so mad
there were bruises
i dont mind
i was sixteen and i was lost
lost in the world of meaningless ****

Sobbing
Tears are falling
Like waterfalls
I saw a picture
A picture that broke me into pieces
Like shattered glass on the floor
Hurt
Deeply hurt
I thought I was the one
It turns out another girl caught him
Caught him in vain
The thing that broke me is because I knew
I knew this would happen but I kept on hoping
I never gave up on him
And yet,even after I saw that picture I still hope
But I'll feel guilty as the other girl is nice with me
She's prettier,taller,slimmer,famous well what do you want to know more?
She's a ******* perfection
I'm still sobbing,my pillow is now wet
Wet with tears of depression
I can't like him anymore
I must stop caring about him
He's younger than you *******
Please,stop.

1:12 am.
I am here clicking on this keyboard typing out my feelings.
I just watched a movie with my mother who is now 47 years old.
We didn't talk much.
Well,we talk but we don't joke around much as you know "as we grew older,we grew apart."
I used to think those words are lies.
But now,I guess nothing's ever a lie.
What you show,is what you meant right?
I have a family.
We're well,quite happy.
But,I can never talk more than 5 mins with my dad.
It's just us.
We never sing in the car when our favourite songs come out.
It's just us.
Even with my mum I did the same thing.
I used to hug her to sleep 8 years before.
But that was before.
Now,we don't do that anymore.
They hate me.
It's just us.

"Insecure to the max"
You're effin perfect"
"Go and be a model *****"
Are these really real?
Sadly,I am not one of those girls that is famous and pretty and mind-****** kind of pretty teenage girls out there.
I'm just well,me.
I wanna be skinny but it seems harder that we can imagine.
I have 'the right'  figure they say well to be more precise,an hour glass figure.
But sadly,I don't act like a true lady so I don't deserve this hour glass figure and well yeah, a girl like me would never say no to a hot *** like Megan Fox etc.
What I'm trying to express is,teenagers nowadays get 1000+ followers and get all famous when in relaity they're just that invisible and it's sad to see those kinds of lifestyle nowadays.
Really.
This is not a poetry.

You,with those vintage glasses on.
Right across the road with your cousins selling skater clothes with smiles and laughter.
I catch your eyes while I was reading but I tried to avoid my mind from imagining.
Your brother came up to me and he introduced me to you.
We shared emotions and talked about dreams.
Days go by,we kept on talking but then,it feels like you're abandoning me.
It's as though I am such a burden to you.
We fought because I get tired.
But I guess it's my fault too.
For declaring "we're just friends,right?"

They were faces.
But I only saw you.
Right there in the middle where I was seated.
You wore the same shirts as the others around you.
But you were different.
We get to know each other afterwards.
I was really happy but I think I was the only one,happy.
You make me feel at ease even-though we're different.
It was my first time.
First time acting that way and it makes me feel so sorrow that now you've gone away.

Silence.
I find nowhere to indulge myself with happiness.
One minute ago I was happy and soulful.
Now I'm all alone and mentally tired of all the awful thoughts that came across.
I am a teenager.
I made mistakes.
I don't know how to act.
Or even talk like a lady.
Harsh words kept popping out of my mouth and especially my 'epic' dislike face expressions kept being watched.
They hate me,I hate them.
I can't do anything about it wouldn't I?