Sitting here missing you, watching them
Just wanting to hold your hand
How could something so happy
Bring so much pain
Watching them in love
Thinking of you
My heart is yearning
And I am learning
To be here on my own
Not wanting to be alone
Wishing you were here
It cant be true, I wont believe it
It seems so surreal
Its already begun to crack
And I know that its just a matter of time till I come back
But all I want right now is to be with you
To hold your hand and hold you close
Though all I can do right now is dream
Of me with you and you with me
I cant bring myself to believe
I just don’t want to see
The truth from fiction
Cuz in my life there is already so much friction
Like a bad dream I wait to wake
But unlike a dream there is no awaking
To sunshine and happiness
All I see right now is the bad
It seems that is all to be had
Though I know there is some good
It seems like there is none left for me
And its all meant for her
I wish this weren’t true
I just don’t know what to do
All I want to do cry
I cant feel any good right now
Though I know its there
And its all around me
I felt it today for a moment or two
But true happiness for me lies with you

The silence is killing me
So quiet I can hear my own heart beat
With nothing to say or nothing to do
The only thing I can think of is you
This is not unusual especially for me
Except for the part that its so quiet and lonely
No sound except of my beating heart and falling rain
My thoughts want to burst out of my brain
This silence, so peaceful yet unnerving
Maybe I am deserving
To feel like this so trapped so alone
Even in my own home
I know in second I could be free
Just put on some music that’s all it needs
But yet I cannot ruin this perfect quiet
I wouldn’t be able to even if I tried it
My thoughts slow down to a gentle murmur
Like a gently flowing river
Yet the one thing that seems to make the river flow fast
This thought from my mind I cannot cast
Because if I did I would ruin my joy and happiness
And you wonder what is this thought that could ruin my saneness
This thought is of someone that I hold near
And to me they are very dear
The only one that truly understands me
The only one that truly makes me happy
My mind settles again and though the thought is still there
It is less disruptive and takes more care
To not disturb my river of thought
And then as though I forgot
The silence returns and all I hear is my beating heart