I'm thinkin' about changin' my name
not tryna remember all of my pains.
Please try to hear
what I'm about to say:

held deep inside of these big brown eyes,
the memories of truth dwellin' through my vines.
All I see, already defined
to a life I once lived in my life.

Laying on this couch
Eyes open wide
Tryna explain how I feel inside
Key, you are the coolness of my eyes
When the passion swells deep inside
Niagara in between the thighs
But its not all about the ride
Its the way we thrive
Its how we came to light
Two blackest souls shine bright in the night
burning bright
And even though we fight
at the end I just want You, alright.

Is it bad that, I never made love
no I never did it but I sure knew how to **** 'em
until I met you
You flipped it all around
got me going up and down
no not makin not one sound
Yes I had some issues
Could not commit
Na, wasn't havin it
but at least I can admit that I was baad to them
Yea I was bad before,
but I'll be good to you

surrenderin' my all to you
givin' you what I got
cause you know how to hit the spot
every time we reach to the top
Im tellin you I don't want no body else
could it just be you and myself
I don't want that lame ****
talk to a bunch a ****** fake ****
tryna hide what i feel inside
cause the demons that tried to erase me
yeah they tried to erase me
by makin' the one's i love
betray me, betray me
made me hate me
I know,
I thought thats all I was good for
that no good **** who's stay on all four
suckin **** like a no good *****
but she's pure
she's pure
I know its hard to believe
but we all deceive
she's a mystery
come look at me
and i'm sure you'll see
Lacked love
So she ******
You came
Changed the game
She's sane
Rise above
Bad girl
Time is up

Life is just so beautiful, isn't it
Seems how somedays I can forget all my troubles
and live worry free
Strong as a warrior
For all those filled with sorrow

But then other days anxiety filled
seems as though my mind cant be silenced
Why is what my mind consumes
Where is the hope for tomorrow

I feel like a patient in a psych ward
But then a therapist who cures the mind
How can I be both simultaneously?
Is that a gift from the Divine?
Double edge sword but a blessing disguised
Maybe this will cure the cancers and the blind

The only choice I have is to watch as my soul takes flight
Protect it and prevent it from crashing on sight.

Time is money
money is time
So when they say it takes money to make money
They mean it takes time.
We all get the same amount daily
Personality gives quality
Because no one can survive selling off white canvases
portraying the self
to receive currensy

Gotta keep ths bar raised
Above and beyond what we call minimum wage
You gotta sell yourself in order to receive a fat check on pay day
Meaning understanding that wealth
Pertains to ones health
Properly known that to diet right heightens stealth.
Mediation nourishes the soul
Hydrating, purifying the flow
Keeping busy to stimulate the brain
Always on top when ignorant folk do or say anything

Its plain to see
Finding yourself includes paying off a bunch of fees
Some say taxes but its really adversity
Cause nothing worth having in life ever comes easy
Best way to succeed is to merely just be me
I can only speak for myself,  cause its my world, my industry
My mind cant escape to retrieve too much of another mans mysteries
Ill burst like a bubble
My mind is that fragile
But ill forever help those in need with any one of their battling struggles

How could I just watch her leave
And become someone else
When the passionate loving caring person I know
is deep within her self
How could I let her speak negatively
But preach positive?
How could I see all the truths
But deny them?
How could I watch her self destruct
Like a ticking time bomb?
How could I let her fall apart
When that girl was always me from the start.

“Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”
― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

I forget all my troubles while encapsulated by your love
Being in your arms itself transcends me up above
It must be because without you I am a ticking time bomb
tick...rock

Here he comes another bug
Taking my blood
No matter how small or colossal
It stays around like a fossil
Imprinting, instead of on stone; on my soul
O apostle!
Please see that the indentation you have encrypted in gold
Can never be replaced
And the worst part is it was stole
stolen from my life, stolen from my heart
Killing me alive
Deprived
But revived in this deep sea of thought
Mosquito bites again
Along with another him
The problem is not the mosquito
For it has no ability to think.
He has a mind and this is my problem
Why does he forget to think?
Why does he forget to think?
Why does he forget to think?
Quit using your head and use your mind
See that I am not just an object but a woman who deserves respect
Be kind
I cant stand that the first impression is just another compliment
Does it look like I need it? Honestly I get alot of then.
And I know I sound shallow but this is how I feel inside
Why cant you all see beyond what meets the eye
Or maybe you do and im the one who's blind

Just let me be like the Beatles preach
Maybe one day ill see beyond what myself perceives

No matter what I do
No matter what I say
Everything I do
Is not good enough for you

Somedays I may be able to make you feel good
Other days im just tired
And when those days come
The truth comes like the light of the morning sun

We fight over and over again
Neither one of us willing to understand
Truth is you want a girl of purity
Truth is im not her. I've been hurt before.

Life has taught me many lessons
you are one of them
do you want to stay or do you want to go
Dont worry im use to being alone.

Deep dark depression
Plus the wisdom of the Greats
Multiplied by numbed emotions
Watching as a soul deteriorates.
She seems happy some days
Very high highs, very low lows
Hours in between
But she shines like the sun's glow.
No concentration in her reality
Trapped, preoccupied by this fallacy
Of labels thrown at her face
So called "mental illness"
She thinks she's a disgrace!
Breathing space
No need to agitate
She lost her ace
Her loud cries muffled by the rain.
All her talents play hide and seek
She can barely comprehend the words you speak.
She has lost all interest in the lands and seas.
Is she dead? Or blind and can't see?
She's on her knees begging please,
"Please, Oh Please, come back to me!"

He says hes my protector
And some days he'll be my lover
But if he's gonna be both
He must learn how to take cover.

Those who fail to know
From head to toe
What I represent
They who are filled with apprehension
Strving to cage me in sin

Please recognize I am no peasant
Nor am I one of omniscence
Just one with daring endeavers
Dreams of heavenly treasures

Forgetting to realize that I am the one who needs the most attention
Most protection from my intentions
Is the **** part I forgot to mention.

I am my own enemy
Or shall I say frenemy
Because im honest with advice
My conscience always giving me insight
But then my lower self comes destroying life
Self destructing...DYNAMITE

From understanding the self to then losing chess
How will I ever be able to live like the rest
Success
Living righteous

Will I ever see light of day or will it be darkness filled sorrow again tomorrow?