By Me, the Great Duncan

Fickle and ever indecisive,
Destiny such a mistress
Taunting at my soul,
Yet,
When it shines in your favor,
Such a shine, shimmering with your jubilation for everyone to see

Hopeing was now a tired act,
Always the same night, same time,
Deep in sleep wanting nothing more,
Than to wake to someone,
Anyone to just ease this,
This tragic ironic loneliness I had put myself in

"Why?!" I screamed to the heavens of my dark ceiling,
Calling a question that mockingly,
Never was answered,
Yet

No more,
Live,
I whisper to the glass and grass,
Flowing and burning,
Mimicking the nights,
Speeding by,
Blurs on a deserted and dark, desolated highway, thumbing my way down,
Trying, searching,
For the tell tale signs of destiny,
Shimmering on the horizon,
Till,

Finally, in a bar,
"Let the night begin!" We yell as we begin our hunt,
Laughing, yet always on the scout,
Never seeing her,
Passing oh so close,
Almost!
The clock ticked down,
Closer and closer as Destiny,
That fickle mistress of my nightmares,
As deemed fit,
I met her tonight,
For all my cries in the night,
For all my past failures,
For all the ones lost,
I would find the one,
I've been asking for,
But only just,
As the clock,
Ticks,
Down,
Ever,
Closer,
Till...

She smiles sweetly,
I see her, only her,
The rest is blurred,
Distorted in the wake,
Of the beauty,
Radiating,
Only for me

Another smile,
From on high,
Destiny laughs,
We embrace,
A sigh,
Happily,
My question answered,
"Why?!" I had screamed,
Her,
Destiny answered

Dear friends
Loved ones,
rivals of all sorts
pass by me in a river,
of pain and pleasure

On this bench,
by this beach,
watching the sun
dip slowly
highlighting my years
as I close my eyes
tears
down my face
and a Grin

The moments found,
the feelings felt,
the hearts broken,
all fresh wounds now,
old scars
just another lifetime now

Feeling the shivering,
melting,
pleasure of your touch again,
all of you
lost shadows,
still here now with me,
like you once were
like you once did

Nothing more now,
I murmur in the fading light,
save the embrace,
of one I lost so long ago
I know him when he calls,
Fierce and Loyal,
even through death

Not long now,
I whisper,
through the tears
Yet,
a smile still remains,
like the light of the sun
still reflecting in the moon,
like the lives
Ive lived,
ready to do it all again

I sit in the center of a bright lit room
screaming at you,
You sit and stare
never flinching,
Your smile,
Consumes me,
I reach out
Screaming,
I reach out
Nothing

I sit here now
In this room which holds my being,
Hearing nothing but the flutter of wicked love,
and the caress of poisoned promises
"Cant you see me?!" I cry,
the echo of your lies
in the absence of your heart answers for you

The light is dim now
fading from sight,
You
Fading from light,
Me
Here I sit,
no longer screaming,
no longer bleeding for your touch
no longer suffering for your passing glance
no longer...

The light bulb shatters,
See nothing but the dark where it all began
Finally Seeing that you no longer matter,
an empty socket,
Waiting to be filled again

Can you forgive
Can you forget
Can you look past,

all my faults
all my failures
all my regrets that I have in life,

Could you see it in your heart,
your soul
to forgive someone
who cant forgive himself,
a man who regrets much,
who thinks of the past,
as the present

The pain
of your passing
still
flows through my mind
without check
and the nights
sometimes
never end

Guilt
wells inside me
filling my heart with black
crude
remorse
dripping into my psyche
draining my will,
wanting nothing but you

If only you could forgive,
a man like me
who still cries in dark
wishing for just one more day
to see
just one more
then maybe
I could forgive myself

The night is heavy now,
sitting in thick of it all

My tears staining my face,
where the smile used to sit

Nothing now,
save for the throbbing of my heart
broken, yet still
counting the seconds
with each beat

Here I lie
wanting nothing
but to pass on
either in sleep or life
as darkness,
eternal,
creeps in my mind once more

I feel weak now,
lost within the abyss of my mind
withering in the dark,
imprisoned by tears

Yet

Hope filters through,
like the rays of the coming sun,
the morrow brings with it light
brings with it
Dawn

Tonight
I write
these feelings of pride
Honor,
Courage,
Sadness,
Worry,
Pride
&
Love

Here we salute you
to your endeavors,
to your dreams,
to your friendship,
that will be here
long after the war is over,
long after the dead are buried
long after you've,

gone

To you,
Mother

I write this world,
to show it
just how amazing you are
Mother

Through out my dark times,
through out my strife
my failures
Mother

You have been the,
only
one
Mother
Who could help me forget,
and brighten my being

Mother
with compassion
with love
with something only
You can
and will ever do
and not a Soul on this earth
or above
can ever take that from me

Mother