I miss the happiness
created by you
that flowed through my veins
and radiated out of my body
like the sunshine on a summers day

I have loved only two people
in my lifetime
one of them is you,
at least I think I do,
all I know,
is you made me happy
you made me laugh
you were the reason
I went to sleep smiling
and also the reason I woke up smiling
you were the reason I woke up at all,
but now you've gone.
you've left,
and I'm not sure why
all I know,
is I don't want to wake up anymore
if it means not talking to you
I don't smile anymore
and I rarely laugh,
all I do is miss you,
and wonder if you miss me too.

overwhelming feelings of wanting to die
and crying on the bathroom floor
until you can't see anymore

my thoughts will haunt me again tonight
like they did last night
and every night before

I may look fine
and I may smile wide
but my heart is breaking
deep down inside

her mind was like a blank canvas
until he came along
and painted thoughts and feelings
that kept her awake at night
making her fall in love
with every single stroke

don't tell me you're sorry
because I know your words are lies
and I know you don't really care
about the sadness in my eyes
you have hurt me too much
and too many times
and this is the final straw
because I cannot go on like this anymore
I will drink until I die
until I can remember you no more
and all the things you did and said
have disappeared out of my head

there are lots of things
I shouldn't do
and one of them
is fall in love with you
so I must pretend you don't exist
to stop the scars forming on my wrist
please don't be offended
if you don't see me for a while
I'm sorry but I can't look at you
or your beautiful smile
but if you see my eyes light up
know that it is not because I saw you coming
because that would only
send me running
now you may find
I don't talk to you
but that doesn't mean
I don't see what you do
I would only die if I heard your voice
and that is not something I want by choice
there is one more thing I cannot do
and that is
fall in love with you

from the shore I watch the waves
crash and roll and break
and I cannot help but think
how lovely it all seems
to let the waves crash over me
and forget all my dreams
so I will swim
and swim
and swim
until there is no shore
and let the waves engulf me
until I can feel
no more