I heard from a common friend,
You have finally moved on.
Well I guess this is the end,
Of my childish imagination.

I saw you with the new one,
Then my eyes started to blur.
You wore a smile on your face,
I have never seen such before.

I knew this would happen one day,
But did not bother to prepare.
Now darkness will cover me up,
Fill me with sorrow and despair.

Lying on the sand studded with urchins,
Watching the dark sky throw down ruins,
This moment shall be declared memorable,
Though you abandoned me, pain is somehow bearable.

Fiery seas crashed their gigantic waves,
On my face they burned the flowing tears.
Suddenly it rained stones, leaving no space,
Yet in my heart, there will be no growing fears.

Scattered in the lovely, but gloomy shore,
Are the debris of the dreams you shuddered.
All these may sound unbelievably painful,
But I'll endure, even if my life's been murdered.

i used to be the girl who didn't eat,
the girl with the voice in the back of her mind tell her awful things about herself
i was the girl who didn't want anyone elses help
refused it
the way my friends looked at me
made me proud
proud to know i knew something they didn't
proud to know i was hiding something
often they'd ask
"are you hungry?"
"why aren't you eating?"
"you're not turning anorexic are you?"
and even coming from your friends those words can hurt
and you can shake it off
smirk it off
walk away
but knowing a little of that was a bit of truth made me all clear to you
they knew
they said
"i'm only trying to help"
yeah trying to help me get fat
i thought
those demons in my mind
the way i looked at myself in the mirror
all i saw
HATE
my legs
to huge
hated them
my stomach
brings me back to that summer day
i was ready
ready to swim
and was finally feeling confident
had just bought a new bikini and was so excited
put my new bikini on
and my cousin comes in and says
"you're stomach is disgusting'
do you know how that feels to have someone say you're stomach is disgusting
made me feel ******
made me feel insecure
as insecure as id ever been
i covered up from there on
i stayed in
i made sure no one saw me
i kept cover
and until this day
i'm still that girl
with the thoughts that haunt me and tell me
"no one hates you more than you hate yourself"
"you're stomach is disgusting"
"you're fat, worthless, useless"
and until this day i struggle with the reality of ever living up to MY reality
of looking in the mirror and seeing what i want to see
and dreading the fact that ill never be
the girl with the pretty smile, so skinny and perky personality
and even those girls
have so much (on the inside) you don't see