I don't know what to do.
I want only him.
No one understands.
But he is who I chose.
If it wasn't for him.
I wouldn't be.
Nor would I be his queen.
He is my pride and joy.
But to others he is just a boy.
I feel lost.
Now all I think is negative thoughts.
Being lost does not feel good.
I feel like I'm in a empty neighborhood.
There is nothing but the wind blowing.
My heart is so cold.
I can feel it dying slowly.
It is all on me.
So I must be the one to take the blame.
I feel so much shame.
I must be isolated and contained.
If none of it ever happened.
It would never have came.
I am so lost.
I feel like I am being tossed.

no one knows the sorrow i've had to endure over the years
were best qaulity was pain the pain of living and
the pain of the lies that they force feed me
but throw it all i've learn that what dosen't **** you makes
you stronger so as i break these chains that held me down to the ground
i spread my wings to take flight once again
to soar an feel life once again with all its glory and joy that i comes with

I don't know how I feel.
There is two that I want.
I don't know how to go about my feelings the right way.
I only want to be with one cuz I am not the one to cheat.
At times I may hurt others feelings but I don't want to continue being that person.
It is not only hurting the person that I am hurting,
It is also me that is hurting not only on the inside but also on the outside.
When I get in this type of situation I get stuck in the moment.
Not only for a little bit of time.
But it is more for a long time that no one would think how long it would be.
I feel like both of them are my all.
But I am not going to hurt one person while I am still in a relationship with the other also.
They both mean so much to me.
I hope they both feel the same about me also.
Also I don't know who I love more though.
They both will always be in my heart, but I can only be with one because I am not the ****** up person who would be the one to cheat.
That's all that matters, is that I am not the one to cheat.
But I need to make the right choice and the right choice soon.
But I don't know who the one I want to be with is the right choice.
I hate being hurt.
Both of them at one point in time has hurt me.
But I feel that the ways they have hurt me made me love them even more.
Yes I know that makes no sense at all, but I am just that type of person that don't always make the right choices about love.
But then again I am hearing from a lot of people that the one I feel that I love the most is hurting me.
They say the only reason that he was with me before and now is because he is trying to get to my best friend.
Well I just hope that it is not true.
He tells me one thing, but then others tell me a whole different story.
And sometimes, but not all the time, I want to believe what others tell me cuz alot of people tell me and I hear it multiple times.
But then again I want to believe him also because I feel like he isn't the one to lie to me.
And also because he would have already left me and tried, and possibly would have gotten with my best friend.
Also at times I feel that what I call my best friend is not really my best friend.
I say this because she likes one of the boy's that I have strong feelings and dearly love.
But then again I can't control how she feels and who she likes.
Also I sometimes feel like she is not my best friend cuz she also at times tries to take him away from me.
But also then again I can't blame her for everything.
I say this cuz at times I feel that the boy I have strong feelings for and love dearly is talking and flirting with her behind my back.
I want to consider her a true friend/ non-blood sister cuz of how strong our friendship and sister like ship and our love for each other.
But then again I don't know what to do cuz the way she is trying to and may already be talking to the boy I will always love and care for.
Also yes me and best friend/sister have our moments but that is what makes part of our friendship/sistership stronger.
I just hope that she has respect for me and our relationship as best friends and non-blood sister.
I would never hurt her in any way.
Especially with her boy situations, I am not the person to hurt her in any type of way.
I just don't want anyone to come between our friendship/non-blood sister relationship.
If that happened I wouldn't know what to do cuz she is really one of the only reasons I have to live.
And if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be who I am today.
Nor would I be where I am today.
Yes me and her have our moments where we can not ******* stand each other or want to be around each other.
But that is part of what makes us who we are.
She is always there for me, just like I am always there for me.
We both listen to each other problems even if we get yelled at for talking about stuff we shouldn't be.
But neither one of us care because we love each other and care about each other alot.
People say our friendship won't last  as a teen friendship/sister like ship.
But we both know that we will beat the odds of friendship lasting longer than any other teen friendship/ sister like relationship.
And I hope she would never take who I love dearly and have very strong feelings for from me.
Also I hope the boy that I love dearly and have very strong feelings for would never try and take my best friend, sister from me.
If the boy that I love dearly and have strong feelings for loves me and cares about me as much as he says he does, he won't hurt me.
And also if my friend/sister cares about me and loves me as much as she says she does, she won't hurt me or our friendship over a boy.
I just hope everyone makes the right choice out of this situation.
Also I hope I make the right choice about who I want to be with.
And my friend and sister will make the right choice about not hurting me or our friendship/sister like ship over a boy.
I know for a fact that I will never let a boy or girl come between me and my sister.
If it meant leaving a boy or a girl so that I don't ruin my relationship with my sister/friend.
Or even if it meant doing something stupid to not lose my friend/sister I would do it.

Well this is the end of the poem for now!!!!!