There are so many things that I could apologize for
but today I finally realized
I have been apologizing for far too many things
that were not my fault
but yours

Some telephone calls are never answered leaving people on the edge of a thought that was urgent to be said at the time but a voice mail never means as much as live audio
Your name is only an old recording that I refuse to delete
and it is no longer a valid word in my vocabulary
I refuse to let you go and I'm still not sure why I love you
but even as a light bulb runs out of wattage
my love for you will run out
So when your name becomes one of many others
and I no longer stop to stare
I will call you
and I hope it goes to voice mail
So that you too will have a useless recording of me
that you refuse to delete

There is something significant about the way that some stars run and others sit still
There is something significant about the way that the sun has a schedule and the moon has different shades of beautiful
There is something significant about the way his eyes spark when he looks in her direction
She isn't sure if he loves her or another one but she pretends that she is his only so she can sleep at night
It's more significant how she refuses to believe that he really loves her
She let's the hope carry on inside of her mind like a dream that never actually happened
It was so much easier to wish than to actually pursue
So she sat back and waited for something significant enough
To make her go on her own strength

It's so easy to write about pain
but why write about a dark room
when you have a candle and a match

It's hard to make due with nothing
I love you and I hope to God
everyday
that you still love me
if you ever did
and here I am trying to make our love reignite itself with nothing to start off with in the first place

I try to write about you all of the time
I try my best to decipher each feeling
to recover the memories and reignite dead flames
I try to make it all better again my spilling
the colors of my mind on paper
but each time I try
my hand cramps
my mind hits a wall
I am blocked
and to this day I am not sure what stops me
but I promise myself and you
that I will write about you one day
and every locked up emotion
will explode
I will use 26 letters
to express millions of memories
and thousands of thoughts
I promise I will write about you
and I hope you'll read it